


Hear Me

by Dunnrulestheworld, somethingaboutamoose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel (Supernatural) - Freeform, Doctor Castiel, Doctor Crowley, F/M, M/M, Megstiel (Supernatural), Mental Hospital AU, Mentions of Suicide, Nurse Gabriel, Psych patient Anna, Psych patient Benny, Psych patient Charlie, Psych patient Dean, Psych patient Kevin, Sabriel (Supernatural), Sam/Ruby (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-03-10 10:08:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 26
Words: 45,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3286403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dunnrulestheworld/pseuds/Dunnrulestheworld, https://archiveofourown.org/users/somethingaboutamoose/pseuds/somethingaboutamoose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester's life is overrun by hallucinations of monsters and demons. Desperate for his brother back, Sam sends Dean to a mental hospital for help where he meets and befriends Doctor Castiel Novak, who specializes in religious-based schizophrenia. Meanwhile, Sam's love life is going to hell (not like it had ever gotten out anyways), and Castiel is having major issues in his cult-ish neighbourhood where they take the rules of the Lord a bit too seriously</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Brother- Matt Corby

**Author's Note:**

> So Hear Me was written by my friend Elizabeth ( the-loveless-moose.tumblr.com ) and edited by myself ( dunnrulestheworld.tumblr.com ) and our friend Sarah ( zinaide.tumblr.com ). It's a Destiel fic but we basically ship everything in this behemoth of a story. Also each chapter is accompanied by a song. Once Hear Me is finished I'll make a playlist of the whole thing. Enjoy ^-^
> 
> Edit: The songs along with their artists are now the chapter titles

“How long has he been like this, Mr. Winchester?” The doctor asked, scrawling down notes as he spoke. Sam said, 

“For a while, I guess. Up until recently, it was easy to handle.”

“And how do you think this may have gotten started?” Sam sighed. Did they have to go through this again? He’d already explained to the other doctors and officials. Couldn’t they just take him and end this quickly?

“He, uh, he witnessed our mother’s death when he was younger. And he had a pretty rough childhood.” Sam stated. 

“And may I ask how she went?” The doctor asked, still not looking up at Sam. The young man gulped, 

“She died in a house fire. Dean had to watch her...you know.” The doctor looked up for a moment,

“Well, that could do it.”

“What?”

“Nothing,” The doctor murmured. He changed the subject by asking, “Is this hospitalization doctor recommended or court ordered?” Sam quickly answered,

“Doctor recommended.” It was hard enough that he was putting his brother in involuntarily. If Dean had to go with a trial, Sam wouldn't be able to take it. Sam had to put Dean in himself or his brother wasn't going.

“Now I must inform you that your doctor’s certificate says we can hold your relative for 48 hours. Then we will have a specialist come in and do a regular checkup to determine whether we see fit that he stay.” He said with a bored look on his face, as if he was reciting from a textbook. He handed Sam a pen and a large packet, "Please sign these and we will be able to take your brother in today.”

Sam took the paperwork. With a shaky hand, he began to sign his brother over to the strangers.  
As Sam went through it, the Doctor spoke,

“You will not be able to see your brother for quite a while. We will tell you his progress but until we see needed, visits will be limited.” Sam nodded and finished his signing, handing the papers back.

“I understand,”

“I understand this can be quite hard, Mr. Winchester, but know you are doing the best thing you can in your...predicament.”

“Thank you,” Sam said but his, uh, kind words hardly helped.

“Please, call me Crowley.” The man grinned, “Now let’s see the bubbling boy, shall we?”

The two men walked out of the office and into the waiting room where the new patient was waiting. Like most new arrivals , he was still in his regular clothing, looking rather downcast. The doctor, Crowley, sat across from the man. Sam stood beside his older brother although he was still unsure about this head-worker.  
Sam had been through this before. He could count on two hands the number of specialists he had taken Dean to see over the years. Each time they had only prescribed more drugs for him to put down his brother’s throat. It was now that Sam had decided to send him in, even though others had recommended it for a while. But Sam always argued that he could take care of his brother himself. It was only his upcoming situation that gave Sam much less time to care for his brother.  
Crowley spoke to the patient,

“Hello, Dean. I would like to welcome you to Fireplace Psychiatric Center.” He look up to Sam, “You can have a few minutes with him before we will take him from here.” Crowley took the papers Sam had previously signed. He left the table and went back to his office.  
Sam looked down at his older brother before taking Crowley’s spot. Dean was sitting in an eerie quiet. Sam could tell he was mad at him, but it was for his own good. Sam was making the right choice this time. He had to be.  
The younger of the two brothers leaned over the table and looked at Dean. He said,

“I know this isn’t the best, Dean. But this will make you better. I know it will. I just need you to work with me this time. And you’ll be able to come home. I’ll miss you-”

“You’re not my brother,” Dean said suddenly, in a harsh whisper. Sam looked at him sadly, but seemed as if he heard this all before,

“You know that I am.”

“You are a disgusting demon, I just want Sam back. Not only have you taken him away from me, but you bring me to Hell too? Get the fuck away and leave me alone.” Sam rubbed his face, and took a breath. He could only pray his brother would get better, and he prayed it would be soon,

“I’ll see you later, Dean.”

He wanted to hug his brother, but he knew it wouldn’t mean anything to him. Luckily, the Doctor returned shortly after. Sam shook his hand, exchanged farewells and some rehearsed phrases of encouragement. Then, after years of caring for his brother, Sam dropped him in the hands of a stranger. Crowley turned to the new initiate after Sam left,

“I am the head of this hospital so I will be checking on you regularly. If you stay over the 48 hours, I will assign you an main doctor and a co-doctor. They will take care of you most of the time. For now, nurses will care for you. I trust you will follow our rules and regulations.” Dean spoke with venom in his voice,

“So I’m guessing that makes you the King of Hell?” 

Dean expected a shocked, offended expression or at least a firm ‘That doesn’t exist,'. He has always received when he told others what he was thinking. No, he wasn’t just speaking his mind, he was telling the truth. He was warning them, trying to protect them or tell them he knew the truth. But they just pretended not to understand. They were liars.  
But Crowley didn’t hesitate. He simply laced his fingers together and smirked,

“I suppose I am.”


	2. My Blood- Ellie Goulding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some graphic violence

The first day at Fireplace was mainly a giant doctor’s visit. Dean was used to them. Sammy took him to be looked at by many people over the years. But they always looked past his words, just assigning a new set of pills to rid him of his visions. 

That’s what they said they were. ‘Hallucinations’ and ‘illusions’ that plagued his mind. His own brother tried to encourage him to believe it too. And he did for a while. It got better, he wasn’t as paranoid. For a few years, he could live normally. 

But then the nightmares hit again. Harder and more vivid than ever. And this time, they became real and they stayed. Dean made a whole different world from these new truths he had learned. 

Dean was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic. They said it made sense that he got worse as he grew older, for most symptoms begin to show in late teens and young adulthood. He has always been a strange kid according to his late father. But the pressure of growing had weighed down harder on him than most. 

Everyone had their own excuses for Dean’s situation. Sam said it was watching their mother die and their rough childhood. One family friend, Bobby, brushed it off as Dean’s overactive imagination. Ellen, another friend, swore that it was some family curse. But not one of them took a minute to suspect that maybe, just maybe, Dean was right. 

Of course, Dean surely thought so. He knew he was right. He tried and tried to tell them. The demons and monsters Dean saw were real. He tried his best to protect his family against them. He warned Sam about the other students at his college. Sam had a serious problem, Dean suspected. His little brother kept attracting demons to him. Dean always told Sam that his friends were actually monsters trying to get to him. Sam used to not bring them over or hang out as much for his brother’s sake. He would limit his relationships. Dean was proud of his brother and relieved he was able to protect Sam. That’s all he could really do right? Use the curse God gave him of being able to see these things to protect people. 

Recently, Sam had gone astray. He had gotten close with one of the demons Dean had warned him about. Dean told Sam countless time to get away from her. That she was going to turn him into one of them. She was going to rent his body out to one of the devil friends of hers.

But...he didn’t listen. 

While Sam dated her, Dean began to scream and shout more at his brother. He had done this before, but this time it was becoming more common. After a while, Sam wouldn’t be able to walk into a room without Dean yelling at him: “Get rid of her! Don’t talk to them! She’s going to hurt all of us! What are you doing? Can you even hear me? Think of the family, Sam!” 

This went on until one day, Sam yelled back. 

He said some words he didn’t mean. Sam said that Dean was crazy, paranoid and a burden. He wanted to take it all back. Every word. But...Dean fell silent. He got up and didn’t leave his room for a very long time. After a few hours of an unbearingly silent house, Sam got the nerve to apologize. 

Dean said for the first time, “You’re not my brother.”

Sam was shocked, “Dean, I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry. You-you don’t mean that.”

“Your aren’t my brother.” he repeated. “You are some nasty, son of a bitch demon like the rest of them. Let Sammy go, I want him back!”

Those words led to Dean’s first extremely violent outburst. He stood up and shoved his brother and started pounding. Sam was so surprised and frightened. He couldn’t even fight back. He couldn’t hit his brother, not in this state. He couldn’t even if he wanted to. All the anger and the hate held up in Dean made him strong and raged. He pushed his younger brother up against the wall until he crumbled on the floor. But Dean didn’t stop, he couldn’t stop. He wanted his brother back, but this-this thing took him. 

Dean kicked and hit and punched. Sam tried to push him off but he was on top of him and he couldn’t do anything. And it hurt. It hurt so bad. Sam yelled and Dean yelled. And Sam felt so weak. 

It wasn’t until Bobby came up from the garage after hearing Dean’s rage-ridden shouts that Sam was saved. He pulled Dean off his brother and held him back long enough for Sam to limp away.

After it all, Sam ended up with a two fractured ribs, split lip, cracked nose and several bruises decorating his face and torso. Dean was only left with a bad memory and bloody knuckles. 

Bobby remembers the day clear as glass. He heard Sam screaming and Dean yelling. If it were any other day, he would think it fine for Dean’s shouts. But Sam? No way in hell. He rushed up the stairs to see a sight you would imagine could be twelve year old brothers wrestling. He didn’t realize the intensity of the situation until he heard Sam crying and saw all the blood. 

But that day was only the beginning of Dean’s complete downfall.

Currently, Dean sat on his hospital bed, emerged with his thoughts. He should not be here. He should’ve fought harder. He could’ve but he had no will power. What was the point anyway? His brother was gone and he had no one else to protect. Bobby, Ellen and Jo all believed that damn demon that took over his brother’s body. They even were the ones that suggested sending Dean to the hospital. It was only a matter of time that their souls were too taken by the demons. And he could do nothing to help them. 

In the end, he lost. They sent him away so that he could no longer try to stop them. 

And now he had to survive Hell.

The King had assigned him a room. It was the temporary section until his 48 hour check up. But they tried to put him to the normal schedule as soon as they thought he was stable. In the temporary rooms, everyone was a demon or a monster. Across his hall, Dean could spot the ‘nurses’ talking and gathering his medicines. 

One came in with the pills and a small cup of water. She was older and seemed to anyone but him as a pleasant lady. He knew better. 

He snarled at her, “There no point wearing that face. I already know what you are.”

“Excuse me?” She looked surprise. 

He ground his teeth together, “Don’t play dumb. It’s useless.”

She didn’t respond to this, she just made him take the pills and took her leave.

This continued for the two days. The demon nurses came in daily and they forced the pills down his throat. The pills took away Dean’s sight of the supernatural in their true form. When he took them at house, it would only make him more nervous. How would he know who was normal and who was a monster? He couldn’t protect his family that way. He would pretend to take them to make others happy, but would hide them, so he could watch out for the creatures.

After the demon took over Sam, it made extra sure that Dean fully swallowed these pills. It hardly helped though, Dean knew what his brother had become. 

On the second day, they let Dean go down to lunch with the others rather that bringing his meal to his room. Dean was quiet and spoke to no one. He was able to sneak past his pills today by putting them under his tongue as the demon nurse watched him ‘swallow’ them. Then he spit them out when she left. He had to be able to see these people for what they were.

In the cafeteria, there were a variety of creatures. He could see witches, demons, ghouls and other monsters. He sat among them and kept to himself.

A specialist came to see him at the end of the second day. They more so interviewed him than did a check up. Crowley said they saw him fit to stay and renewed the doctor’s certificate for ten weeks.

Ten weeks. Ten more weeks in Hell. For now anyways. He knew they could- and would- renew it for more. The worse thing is that they made him sign it because he had to be willing to participate. Not like he had a choice anyway. So he signed his soul to Hell for ten more weeks. 

The next day they were going to move him to a more permanent room. It was upstairs and he would have to begin participating in the regular activities.

Dean argued with the demons. He didn’t want to go to the next level of Hell. He expected torture in the form of the ‘activities’ and more pills to take away his gift. But in the end, he lost yet another battle and was dragged to his new room. 

But...there was something very different about the upstairs of the hospital. He didn’t realize that he’d never seen it until he arrived. 

He didn’t know how to make out what he was seeing. It was like nothing he expected. It was lighter on the second floor, it was more free, it seemed like people were...happy. 

There were still monsters and demons in the rooms and lurking about, but something up here brought a different light. 

Dean was sat down in an office on the second floor. He was in total awe of the place. From the looks of it, it was the King, Crowley’s, office. It was dark and the carpet was dark red. It had his name and picture on the desk. So this was where the King of Hell sat. But why was he up here, where it was so different?  
Crowley came in with two men behind him and then Dean realized why the place was so bright.

“Hello, Winchester,” Crowley said. “Welcome to floor two. These men are doctors who will be working with you for now on.”

Crowley gestured to the pair of doctors standing beside him as he leaned against his desk. “This is Dr. Norse, who will be working with you part-time and Dr. Novak, who will your main therapist and doctor for now.”

The two men personally introduced themselves to Dean, who wore a surprised expression the whole time.

Dr. Novak had bright blue eyes and ruffled dark hair. Dr. Norse insisted on be called the less-formal name of Gabriel and had lighter hair and a strong smile. 

Dr. Novak gave Dean a pleasant grin, “We will be working together quite a lot for the next two weeks so I hope we will be able to get along easily,”

“I’m pretty sure you won’t have a problem, Cassie.” Gabriel smirked. “He sure is a smiley one, isn't he, Crowley?”

Dean didn’t realize his face had broken out into an unreasonably large grin but he didn’t bother to crush it. Crowley shrugged and said with an annoyed expression, 

“When I first spoke to him he referred to the hospital as ‘Hell’ and called me the king of it. As flattering as it is, I don’t know why he’s suddenly so happy to be here.”

Gabriel laughed at the statement and Dr. Novak kneeled down to Dean’s chair level, “Can you tell us why you are in this wonderful good mood?” He asked.

Dean simply said, “I didn’t know that angels existed until now,”

This only made Gabriel laugh harder, “That was great, man. I’ll have to use that one on my next date.”

Dr. Novak just shook his head and with a smile, he said, “Let’s just get you to your room.”


	3. Second Child, Restless Child- Oh the Hello's

Sam was getting used to life without his brother. Very, very slowly one might add. 

Because of Dean’s absence, Bobby was short one man at the car lot. Usually on good days, Dean would go down and work for Bobby fixing cars. It was almost therapeutic for the mentally ill man. And even if he was only there for half a day or so, Dean was able to get a lot done. 

So whenever Sam had extra room in his schedule (and with his brother gone, he certainly did) he would go down to the lot and try to help wherever could.   
At first, this meant taking over Dean’s job fixing cars. But Sam didn’t know a Ford Focus from a Volkswagen so after a while of harming the cars more than he was helping, Bobby sternly put him to a desk job. 

Sam’s life went on as it was supposed to. He worked in his lawyer-training, took up a part-time job and lived in the house that he got with his inheritance.

For a while...things were good. Though he couldn’t forget why he decided to put Dean in the hospital in the first place. 

“Sam!” called his fiance, “We are running out of toilet paper again. I’m going to stop by the store to get some on my way back from work so I might be later than usual.”

“How long does it take to get toilet paper?” Sam asked.

Ruby walked over to the nearly empty refrigerator, “Well, toilet paper, and juice and fruit and meat. Do you ever shop?”

Sam leaned against the kitchen counter, “We moved around a bunch when I was a kid. I ate take-out all my life.”

The dark-haired girl gleamed, “On that note, I should stop by and grab some french fries before I get to work.”

Sam grinned, “You gotta eat less of those, it’s just deep-fried fat.”

“Oh I beg to differ,” Ruby grinned and put her hands around Sam’s waist. 

Sam laughed and bent down to peck his fiance on her lips. 

Sam met Ruby in one of his classes at Stanford. He really didn't like her at first, in fact he thought she was kind of a bitch. Don’t tell her he said that.

But they had to work on an assignment together, and they began to come to terms with each other. 

It had been two years since then. And only six months until they would be married. 

“Why do you have to work so late?” Sam asked, in a sort of whiny tone.

Ruby rolled her eyes, “So I can pay for your lazy ass.”

Sam chuckled, “I pay for things too.”

“Sure, keep thinking that.” Ruby said, “Now, I’m leaving. Why don’t you go hang out with some of the others? Go stop at the Roadhouse. Don’t keep yourself cooped up in the house all day.”

“I don’t.”

“Yes, you do. Ever since Dean left I don’t think you've done anything but work and stare at the television.” Ruby insisted, “Go have some fun tonight, okay?” 

Sam nodded, “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Good,” Ruby grinned, and gave him a quick kiss, “See you later,”

“Bye,” Sam waved as she left.

So maybe Sam wasn’t doing as well as he thought. But what did they expect? His brother who he was with all the time was just...gone.

Maybe he did need some time with others. He picked up his phone to call Bobby or, if it had to come to it, Garth. But once he held it, it began to buzz from a call.   
It was an unknown number so Sam hesitantly pressed accept.

“Hello?” Sam said.

“Heelloo.” Responded the odd, delighted voice on the other end, “I am Dr. Norse from Fireplace Institution. Call me Gabriel.”

“Is Dean okay?” Sam asked instantly. He had been waiting for this call for the last three days.

“Dean-o is just swell. I am calling to tell you that after our evaluation, we have decided to renew his certificate.”

Sam rubbed his face, “For how long?”

Gabriel said, “This one can be lengthened or shortened how ever we see necessary. But Crowley has set it for 10 weeks. After that, his contract will be revoked and we will have to fill it out again with any information that has changed or what not.”

“Okay.” Sam said. 10 weeks? That seemed like such a long time. But that meant that if Dean got better in time, he would be able to attend his wedding. Sam asked, 

“Are you his doctor?”

“I am not,” Gabriel said, “I am the assistant doctor, his nurse if you will,” Gabriel chuckled, “But you can contact his main at his email: drcnovak@gmail.com.”

Sam wrote down the email as the assistant talked more. 

“I will be the one keeping you updated about your brother’s condition and progress, your own personal messenger. If you need anything call me at this number or come by the hospital and ask for Gabriel Norse.” 

“How often will you be in touch?” Sam asked. 

“As often as you want, sugar,” The peculiar doctor said humorously, and it was as if you could hear the man’s eyebrows wiggling in his voice. 

Sam coughed in awkwardness and asked, “Are you sure you are a doctor?”

Gabriel deflated and huffed over the phone, “I work 60 hours a week, cut me some slack.”

“Um, okay?” Sam said, still unsure of the mental state of the doctor working in the mental hospital. 

“Well, I have to go home, party, then if I’m lucky, take a nap before going to back to work. Call ya later, Sammy.” 

“Um, bye?” Sam said before the phone clicked. 

He then reevaluated his choices in hospitals. But the man seemed friendly enough, he supposed. He just hoped this other doctor was a tad bit more serious.   
Getting his laptop out to email Dean’s doctor, he knew he would be staying home tonight.


	4. Werewolves of London- Warren Zevon

Benny Lafitte had been in Fireplace Institution for about six months. He was a fairly friendly person and he had a way of making friends with most of the patients coming in and out. He had met a lifetime of crazy people. Some were pretty quiet like himself. He suffered from depression and a blood addiction. It wasn’t anything that affected others and he was even able to hide it for a while. People like him could keep on the down low with their illness. 

But Benny had met a lot of people whose problems were more...loud. People with noticeable scars, people who were very loud themselves, and then people like Dean Winchester. 

Benny noticed Dean Winchester during the man’s first few days at the hospital. He sat alone at the end of the table. He looked at everyone like they were going to jump him any moment. Which wasn’t necessarily anything new for the place. A lot of patients had very strong paranoia. It was the point behind Dean’s worries that intrigued Benny.

When Benny first talked to Dean it was out of friendliness, pity and the gosh darn goodness of his own heart. But for poor Benny, Dean did not share the same welcome feelings.

Dean would not very well speak to Benny in the first week. After the third day, he did seem more at ease but he still ignored Benny’s kind words.

Benny took this as a challenge. He would go to Dean every day at lunch and try to engage him in polite conversation. And Dean would ignore him, pretending he didn’t exist or sending him angry glares. Benny, though, just carried right on speaking about his day or how he got there. He knew he was most likely talking to himself but that wasn’t very new around there anyway. 

On the seventh day, Benny was on his way walking to group therapy. When he spotted a curious sight. He saw a usually silent man mumbling to himself while hiding behind a wall. 

Benny observed him for a moment, trying to make out his mutters, but saw he was glaring at a certain janitor. 

“Did that guy kill your old man or something?” Benny commented. 

Dean turned around and jumped slightly. When he noticed who it was he grew angry, “What are you doing?”

“I think I asked my question first.” Benny said, “Shouldn’t you be somewhere beside stalking some poor janitor? I think that one is married anyway. Too bad.”

Dean shoved passed the older man, “Leave me alone.”

“Hey now, I’m just trying to be friendly. You gotta have at least one friend when you get put in the nut house.”

“I don’t want to be friends with anyone like you.”

“Now that just hurts my feelings.” Benny said mockingly, “Where are you headed to anyway?” 

Dean pulled a list that Dr. Novak had given him of his daily plan, which had changed once again the previous day to make room for private sessions. “Uh, group therapy in multi-purpose room.”

“Well ain’t that a sign, so do I.” Benny grinned widely as Dean groaned. 

“I’ll just go ask my doctor to change it,” Dean began to turn around but Benny threw his arm around his shoulder. 

“Nah, come it’ll be fun.” Benny smiled as they walked to the room.

Dean groaned loudly again as they went to the therapy.

Group therapy was basically just ‘who has it worst’ time. The leader began with the same sappy introduction and the same people throw up their problems and get the same advice. 

The therapist leading group therapy today was a lady named Naomi. To Dean, he knew she was an angel but didn’t like her at all. To Benny, she was just another lady with an urge to annoy.

She spoke in a Snow White type voice that was horribly fake. She smiled, “Shall we get started?”

She asked around of who wanted to speak first. Of course, an older woman just began speaking anyway, no matter who wanted to go. This woman’s name was Missouri and she was a talker. 

“I want out of here,” Missouri began, like usual. 

Naomi sighed, her patience already running out, “Miss. Moseley, we have already been over this before.”

“There is no reason for me to be here, I got no problems. Y’all are just jealous of my abilities and are tryin’ to lock me away.” She said, crossing her arms in front of her.

Naomi said, “We keep you here for your well-being. Now, anyone else?” 

Missouri huffed and whispered to Dean, whom she was sitting next to. “I can sense that she has major man issues. Bet ya she one of those ‘I’m married to my work’ ladies. Shame, shame.”

That got a small crack of a smile out of Dean. But it quickly disappeared but Naomi said:

“Mr. Winchester, how about you?”

Dean never talked during group therapy. He didn’t need any help from these people and he definitely wasn’t gonna talk about his ‘feelings’. So he just shook his head and sat back. 

A hand shot up from the group. Dean looked over to see who it was and he groaned internally when he figured it out.

Benny.

“Yes, Mr. Lafitte?” Naomi said. 

Benny smirked as he talked. “I just want to say that I feel like we should be making friends here. And by no means should we be rude and ignore each other when someone is trying real hard to make friends with you. Don’t you think?”

Naomi smiled sweetly at Benny’s words, “Why yes I do. This is a very nice place to make friends while learning about ourselves.” She asked Benny, “Is there someone who you have been trying to make friends with that isn’t being nice?”

“Oh, now, I don’t want to name names. Just this not-so-friendly guy doesn’t wanna be buddies.” Benny strains his neck to look at Dean, who was trying to burn him with his eyes. “That just hurt my little old feelings.”

Naomi bought Benny’s act even though it was laced with sarcasm. She looked at Dean, who only scowled back. 

“Dean, would you like to speak now?”

Dean crossed his arms, “Well, I think that some people just want to be left alone. And that others should be able to respect that and leave me alone.”

Naomi wasn’t able to speak up for Benny retaliated.

“I think you just need a friend, no need to ruin anyone’s fun. If you wanted me to leave you alone, then you could’ve just told me. You know, if you would’ve talked.” Benny huffed. 

“I don’t wanna talk to nothing like you, bloodsucker.”

“Now Dean-” Naomi protested. 

“Bloodsucker? What do you think I am, some kind of vampire?”

“I know that’s exactly what you are.” Dean spat.

Benny thought for a moment, “And who do you think you are?”

“What are you, my shrink?”

“Nah, just a friendly vampire in a friendly group circle.”

“Benny, Dean, please,” Naomi tried.

“I ain’t gonna tell no low-life monster my problems. I’m no pansy. This circle isn’t going to go anywhere but the trash anyway.”

Benny grinned, “You don’t say,”

“Yeah, no one really gets anything from this beside a free pity party.” Dean said.

Benny laughed, “Ain’t that right, Missouri?”

Missouri gave the two men a fearsome look, “Imma whack you both with a spoon.”

“That’s enough!” Naomi called the attention back to her, huffing, “That is quite enough. Dismissed, please go back to your rooms.”

Everyone all slowly got up and moved away. Dean was met with a hard slap on his shoulder. 

Benny laughed, “That went well, didn’t it, brother?”

“You’re not my brother,” Dean said. Then realizing the continuity in his words, changed the subject, “And what do you mean it ‘went well’? She couldn’t even handle it and left.”

“Exactly, we got out a whole 20 minutes early,” Benny grinned. “Now I can go to my room and take a nap. We make a good team, don’t we?”

Dean mused on the idea of taking a nap, but didn’t exactly brighten to the idea of Benny’s friendship. 

In the end, having less time stuck in Group with Naomi won and as they departed, they shook hands.


	5. All Shook Up- Elvis Presley

Dr. Novak lived alone. But he didn’t always.

His house was small enough to live on his own but large enough to show that he was well-off. He lived in a little neighborhood that was quiet and calm. No one was too loud or disturbed each other. And everyone was more than generous on Halloween when the children came by. Castiel didn’t volunteer or participate in the neighborhood meetings or small events, but he respected them any way. Everyone kept their yards groomed and flowers watered. Castiel was not one for gardens but he had a friendly neighbor named Joshua who was very helpful to water them for him.

He was grateful for his peaceful little home in Elysium Estates. It was nice. He even had a small brown cat named Samandriel. It was a gentle life.

Which was opposite of his work at Fireplace Institution.

Castiel had just come from a morning neighborhood meeting. It wasn't a too busy day so far, though it was still early. Once Castiel sat down in his office, his assistant came to him, smirking like usual.

“Hello, Dr. Norse,” Castiel said, finishing his coffee.

Gabriel lounged on the chair in front of his desk, kicking his feet up. “Please, enough with the formalities, King Crowley is not watching. Anyway,” He moved smoothly, putting his feet down and leaning over the desk as if to tell a secret. He gave a mischievous grin while saying, “So when are we gonna have demon boy and angel girl meet?”

Dr. Novak looked up, “I have no intention of either of the two meeting at all.”

“Oh why not?” He teased, “I think they will get along well. I ship it.”

“You know as well as me that those two would either clash or only encourage each others delusions.”

Gabriel said, “Or they could work together to overcome their disability.”

Castiel gave him a look that read: ‘that could never happen’ and Gabriel put his hands up.

“Just hear me out,” Gabriel said, “You have two schizophrenics in this hospital with religious tendencies and we are about to get another in...how long?”

“Two days,” Castiel sighed, knowing Gabriel was about to come to an understandable point.

“Two days. So you, my dear friend, are gonna have three religion buffs on your hands. All schizos and all crazy.”

Castiel looked up to the man, “Then what exactly is your plan?”

Gabriel stood up tall. He put his hands in the air, announcing his grand idea, “One hour a day, group therapy, three people, you lead it.”

“You want me to take my three patients out of their regular just so we can have a not-so-private session?”

Gabriel grinned. “Got any other idea? It’s that or they meet during lunch and gather conspiracies together. Maybe Dean will take out Crowley. What a treat. And Anna can burn down the place. That’ll be nice.”

“You are jumping to conclusions. Neither Winchester nor Milton will go to that.”

“That’s not what their records say.”

Castiel narrowed his eyes, “Fine- if you are so intent on having these three in a room together. But you will be taking your break to work this out. I’ll go ask Crowley.”

Gabriel hopped joyfully, “Goodie.”

Castiel left the nurse in his office as he walked away, moving quickly to spare time for any other crazy ideas.

Castiel was not sold on Gabriel’s plan. He knew that he was correct in the sense that a Group that was smaller and targeted the same problem was a good idea. He just wasn’t sure how it would go.

Right now, he only had two main patients. He specialized in schizophrenics but mostly on the negative power religious side. His two patients were a handful themselves, but he had agreed to take another one.

It was 12:30, time to begin checking on his patients. Dean should be at lunch currently while Anna was at Group. He would go be with Dean until Anna changed shifts.

Castiel walked down to the cafeteria. Dean was sitting at the very end of the table with two others. It relieved the doctor that Dean was finding a place in the hospital.

The doctor walked over to the table and smiled down at the patient, “Hello, Dean.”

Dean jumped slightly. Once he looked up and knew who it was, he chuckled nervously, “You scared me, doc.”

Castiel looked down as he sat in a chair at the end of the table, “Sorry about that.”

Dean shrugged. He picked up a cup he was drinking out of and moved it curiously far away from Castiel.

Castiel didn’t bother to question it, instead he looked at the man that was sitting across from Dean. “And who is this?” Castiel asked Dean, a little cautious of the large mischievous grin on the other man’s face.

Dean said, “Oh, uh, this is Benny. He is in my Group. Benny, this is my main, Dr. Novak.”

“Nice you meet you, doctor,” Benny said, “You have it lucky, my main is Dr. Eve. She’s a bit of a odd one.”

Castiel could not disagree with him. Eve was a curious case, and treated her patients like children. And it didn’t help that her assistant doctor went by Alpha. No one was sure if that was his last name or a nickname but no one bothered to ask.

Castiel was a bit confused, for he had never heard of Benny being friends with Dean. Dean usually thought most of the patients were some kind of monster or a very bad human that deserved time in Hell.

Dean seemed to know what Castiel was thinking because he said, “Benny is a vampire but he’s alright. We messed up Naomi’s Group enough to make her quit.”

Benny made a motion of fangs in his mouth with his fingers, then laughed loudly.

Speaking on the topic of Group, Castiel decided to chose now to tell Dean about Gabriel’s idea.

“Dean, Dr. Norse had a idea of moving you out of your Group to a more private session.” He stated.

“But we already have private sessions, don’t we? Why would we add another one?” Dean asked.

“Well, not one-on-one sessions, but a smaller group of about three people. I would lead it some days, and Dr. Norse would take over others.”

“Who would be in it?”

“I will have two other people in this hospital with..ah...beliefs similar to yours. Not identical but same basics.”

Castiel could see Dean’s eyes light up in surprise. He probably thought they were people who understood him. Sadly, Castiel knew this was not the truth.

“What about normal Group? I want to be with Benny and Missouri.”

Castiel opened his mouth to protest but Benny said, “Come on, Dean. This might be a good thing, listen to your momma.”

“I am no ones mother,” Castiel said.

“What? Really?” Benny said is mocking sarcasm that Castiel didn’t exactly pick up.

Dean groaned and took a sip from his styrofoam cup.

When Dean gulped, Castiel gave him a look.

“What is that?” Castiel asked.

Dean held on tighter to his cup, “Um, Root Beer.”

“I know that you only get soda and candy on Fridays and Mondays. Today is Wednesday, Dean.”

“I saved it.” Dean explained, “Gotta, heh, keep caffeinated somehow. You know, they don’t let me drink coffee?” Dean was trying to change the subject.

“Really now?” Benny tried to help, “I have to have my helping every morning or I’ll never get up.”

“How many sugar packs?” Dean asked, pretending to be interested.

Castiel yanked the cup out Dean’s hands, as the hospital patient tried to grab it back.

He smelled the liquid and took a tiny sip. He drew back at the strong flavor. Whiskey.

He put the cup down with a stern expression towards his patient, “How did you get this in here?”

Dean grinned innocently and shrugged, pointing towards Benny.

“Way to sell a brother out,” Benny huffed in a light mood, “I got friends on the other side.” He grinned and explained to the doctor.

“You know you can both in a lot of trouble for this.” Dr. Novak said, very curious on how they snuck liquor into the cafeteria much less the hospital.

“Don’t be such a stickler.” Benny said, “We are just having a little fun. We haven’t seen the real world in so long.”

“Dean has only been here for a ten days.” Castiel reminded.

“Well I was talking more ‘bout me than the kid.” Benny mumbled.

Dean grinned at Castiel, “Come on, doc. We won’t act up again. Just this once and I’ll be totally okay with this new Group thing.”

Castiel took a breath. He knew he was just promoting wrongful behavior. What if these two hooligans went around and gave all the mental patients a drink? But still, Dean looked very happy. He was smiling more than ever, and he was about to get into trouble. And he only did have a few sips…

“Fine,” Castiel said, “I won’t tell them this time but I swear that this won’t happen again.”

Dean and Benny smiled, “Yes, sir.”

Castiel huffed and grabbed the cup, “And I’m taking this with me.”

He stood up from the table though he could hear the chuckles of the men behind him. He almost stopped in his tracks.

Dean was laughing.

Not only was he laughing but with someone he thought a monster.

Castiel was very pleased. He wanted to stay with the boys but he knew he had a job to do. Instead, he walked away, the happy sound echoing around him.


	6. Howl- Florence and the Machine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry I missed yesterday, but in lieu of hiatus and also since I slacked a bit, the next chapter button works! Enjoy!

One day before the third patient arrived, Dean had a fit. 

He was sitting in the cafeteria for dinner. They were serving pizza that evening so everyone was in decent moods. Except Dean Winchester, who was tired and suffering from the long day he had. 

Benny and Missouri were talking and laughing like usual, but Dean was glaring at the table like it had hurt him. Benny piqued in interest but did not ask Dean any questions. He knew it wouldn’t help at all. 

Dean squeezed his fists together. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. His head hurt behind his eyes and it felt clouded. His stomach clenched up tight and he felt like he was going to throw up. But he was mad. And he didn’t know why. 

After a while of trying to calm himself down, he only got more upset. He was mad at everything. It’s been eleven days since he’d last seen any of his family. You could say he was feeling homesick but he didn’t exactly want to go home. Even though he missed people, he felt safer here, even if it was Hell. No one could take anything away from him here, he had nothing. 

Last hour was visiting hour. Even Benny had someone see him, a niece, Elizabeth. But Dean was forced to find something else to do in the recreational room. 

He missed his brother. But Sam was taken by a demon, wasn’t he? Dean could hardly remember. The medicine was messing with his head. 

Dr. Novak and Crowley decided to prescribe Dean with Perphenazine tablets, the same kind of drug that he used a few years back when he was feeling normal. They thought that with these, he would be able to kick back into place. 

But these seemed to be having a different effect on Dean than they used to. As they should, they made Dean stop seeing the true faces of the demons and monsters, but they also gave him a few problems. 

Dean sat at the table. His eye was bothering him. It itched and twitched. He rubbed at it, and his eyes began to water. Which only made him more upset, he didn’t want anyone to think he was crying. 

After all the trouble, he ended up just putting his head down on the table with his arms wrapped together underneath. No one talked to him throughout dinner. 

Once dinner was over, Dr. Norse came down to take Dean to his next stop, to the recreational room for a little bit of free time before his was sent to his room for the rest of the night. 

Dean didn’t want to move though. He didn’t want to go back. He had to go there during visiting hours too. He wanted to see his family. He needed to see if Bobby and Ellen and Jo were alright.

Gabriel tried to pull Dean up, gently tugging on his arm. Dean, on the other hand, was not in the mood for being gentle. He harshly pushed Gabriel off of him. 

The Angel sighed, “Don’t make this harder than it has to be. Come with me, Dean, and I’ll buy you a bar of chocolate.”

Dean wasn’t as interested. He only turned away from the doctor and kept his feet firmly on the ground. 

“What has gotten into to you, Dean?” Gabriel asked. “Please don’t make me get the orderlies.”

Dean didn’t want any attention on himself, so he stood up and walked with Gabriel. 

Not to the recreational room, though. No, he wasn’t going there. He walked past Gabriel and went up the stairs to his own room, forcing the nurse to have to keep up with him in a jog. 

“Dean, what are you doing?” Gabriel asked as he raced after him.

Dean slowed down as he reached his room. “Leave me alone.”

“Dean, you can’t go in your room yet, you have to keep to your schedule.” 

“I want to go to my room. I’ll stay there the rest of the night.” Dean promised. “I don’t want to go down there.”

Dean’s headache began to get worse, and he put a hand on his neck and found he was sweating. But he didn’t feel hot, if anything he was cold. He felt pinpricks running up his arms, making the hairs stand up. 

“Are you okay, Dean?” The nurse asked. 

Dean shook his head, no, no he wasn’t okay. He felt like he was going to pass out, puke or both at once. 

Gabriel finally opened the door to Dean’s room. And Dean rushed in. He sat on his bed and placed his head between his knees. 

“Dean, stay right here, okay? I’m going to go get Dr. Novak. Don’t move.” Gabriel said before leaving the room. He stopped a nurse on his way there to go watch the Winchester’s door. 

Gabriel headed to Castiel’s office. Luckily, no one stopped to ask why he was running and was able to get there fast. 

The nurse didn’t bother to knock on the door. He walked in, and saw the doctor doing some paperwork. 

“Hey, we need you over here.” Gabriel said. “I think Dean is sick or something. I’m not sure but he wouldn’t go to the recreational room when I asked him.”

Castiel stood up. “Sick as in how? A fever?”

“I don’t know,” He said, “That’s why I’m grabbing you.”

Castiel understood and followed his assistant to Dean’s room. Castiel was worried something like this would happen. Especially so close to preparing for his next patient’s arrival. 

The two doctors got to the Winchester and dismissed the kind nurse who was waiting anxiously at the door. Luckily, the man was still sitting on the bed, though he looked worse than he last did. 

“Gabriel, go get a cup of water and close the door, please.” Castiel asked. Dr. Norse nodded and quickly leaped out of the room. 

Castiel grabbed a chair and pulled it up to Dean. He was still holding his head in his hands, bent over on his knees. He was clawing at his scalp harshly. 

Castiel noticed little dots of blood on Dean’s nails. He was going to rip his hair out in chunks. Castiel grabbed Dean’s hands, causing the patient to look up.

“Dean, what’s wrong?” Castiel asked him. 

Dean took a few deep breaths, but his throat was in too much pain to produce any words. He coughed into his shoulder. His hairline was itching as well as his face but his hands were contained so he could only clench his fists. 

Luckily Gabriel came back rather quickly with a cup of water. 

“Are you okay here?” Gabriel said, handing the cup to Castiel. The nurse had to go complete his rounds. 

Dr. Novak nodded and Gabriel gave Dean a small smile and left, shutting the door gently behind him. Dean took a long sip before Castiel grabbed it back, telling him not to drink too quickly, or it will upset his stomach. Castiel set the drink on the bedside table before turning back to Dean. 

“How are you feeling, Dean?” Dr. Novak asked, “What hurts?”

Dean had his head back in his hands, itching at his head. Castiel took out a piece of paper and a pen. 

Dr. Novak looked up at Dean. “I need you to tell me what is wrong or I can’t help you.”

“It doesn’t matter, you can’t help me either way.” Dean said bluntly, moving his itching to his chest. 

Castiel grabbed Dean’s hands again in his to stop his patient from tearing his skin off. He said again, “What’s wrong, Dean?”

Dean ducked his head, “I’m hot... but my head is cold. Everything is really warm but it’s not. I think I have a fever.”

Dean cringed with a new wave of pain. His whole body ached now. He swallowed tears. He wasn’t going to cry over this. 

Castiel narrowed his eyes in thought then asked, “Have you been having trouble sleeping for the last two nights?”

Dean grimaced, and not just because of the pain. During daily private therapy sessions, Dean was asked all these questions. And Dean had not exactly been totally honest on them. 

He nodded, only causing his head to hurt more. 

Castiel asked other questions, such as ‘stomach pain?’, ‘lightheadedness?’, and ‘problems urinating?’. All of which (though very hesitantly) Dean nodded to. 

The Angel ran a hand through his hair, though he kept one hand holding both of Dean’s. “I was worried about this. You are having bad side effects to the Perphenazine. We will have to take you off of it immediately.” 

Dean didn’t really care what meds he took at the moment. He felt like a he was in the middle of a really really bad hangover with a extra side of fever. 

But a very, very small part of him was fine with however he felt as long as Castiel didn’t let go of his hands. 

Castiel said, “I’m going to put you down as sick until these side effects go away. You need to rest or you are going to get worse. I’ll give you some pain reliever later but right now, try to get some sleep.” 

Dean nodded, he could agree to that. His body ticked with strain and he just wanted to shut it down. 

Another shock of pain hit his head and he clenched his teeth together. He wasn’t going to start crying over some side effects of pills. Especially not with other lifeforms in the area. 

Castiel frowned at Dean’s pain. He should’ve checked to see if this would happen. He didn’t want any more trouble for his patients to have to go through. 

“Maybe I should get you that pain reliever now…” Castiel thought out loud. 

He began to rise, but Dean tightened his grip on the doctor’s hands. “No!” Dean said, then more calmly, “I...I don’t need it.”

Castiel sat back down, looking at the hurting man, “Dean, I know you are in pain, if you need something, just tell me.”

Dean shook his head, “I don’t need it. I just...just stay for a little bit.”

Castiel nodded, “I’ll stay. But you need to get some sleep, Dean. Even if you don’t want to admit it, you are sick. You need to take care of yourself.”

“I know,” Dean said. “I don’t want to have to sit here alone.”

Castiel understood and he stayed for a while longer, just talking about random topics until Dean grew tired, and Castiel left him. 

Dean fell asleep, though still in pain, smiling.


	7. Run Boy Run- Woodkid

The new invalid arrived very early in the morning. He was supposed to check in the evening but his mother was busy and dropped him off earlier. His mother wasn’t very rushed to leave her boy but her job called her away. She kissed him on the forehead and wished him a cautious farewell. 

The boy didn’t talk to anyone, only held a small, electronic tablet to his chest. His mother had asked one thing, not to take it away from him. When the boy was taken to his room, he started to write something on the tablet with his little fake pen. 

The nurses tried to talk to him but he only replied with a shake of his head and continuing looking at his tablet. 

Dr. Novak and Dr. Norse were surprised when they heard that the patient was so early. He didn’t need the 48 hour check, so they were preparing to move him straight into his new room and schedule. But with him arriving early, they had to rush their plans slightly. 

The two workers went down to the room where the young boy was being temporarily kept. As they were about to enter, a nurse stopped them and gave them an exhausted look. 

“He is not a talker. It took me at least half an hour to get a name out of him. Good luck.” The nurse said. 

Dr. Novak sighed, he should’ve known this would happen. No one likes being thrown into a temporary room with a bunch of pestering nurses. Especially with patients like his. 

The two doctors walked into the room, trying to be as casual as possible. The boy looked up to them, gave a small glare that was laced with confusion, then went back to looking at the tablet in hand. 

Dr. Novak sat down on the chair in front of his bed with Dr. Norse leaning against the door. 

“Hello,” The main doctor began, “I am Dr. Castiel Novak, and this is my assistant Gabriel Norse.”

The boy only looked up with his eyes, and did not respond. He scrawled something down on the electronic notebook. 

“What’s your name?” Dr. Novak asked.

The patient looked up again, but this time, he spoke. “My name is Kevin Tran,” 

“Ah, very nice-” Dr. Novak began. 

“I’m in advanced placement.” Kevin added. 

The two doctors weren’t exactly sure why the latter was needed, but they didn’t question him because he was finally talking. 

“Well Kevin Tran from advanced placement, would you like to go to your room and maybe get some lunch?” 

Kevin nodded, but went back to writing on the tablet. 

They took the nod as the yes, and they stood up and led Kevin to his room. Kevin followed behind, still writing with his head down. In one case, Dr. Norse had to steer   
the boy so he would not run into a wall. Luckily, they got to the room without anyone taking an eye out. 

When they arrived, Kevin seemed a bit more lighthearted. He was talking more. 

Kevin asked, “Is there going to be any meat in the lunch? I’m a vegan.”

“Well when we get down there we'll find out.” Dr. Novak said, then he looked at Dr. Norse, “Can you go check on Dean for me? I think he is feeling better. We need to get him back on schedule. Anna is at Physical Therapy.”

Dr. Norse agreed and then smiled at Kevin, “Nice you meet you, I’ll see ya later, kid.” 

Kevin nodded at Dr. Norse, but was still writing on the tablet. 

“Do you want to go to lunch now, Kevin?” Dr. Novak said. 

Kevin nodded again and didn’t show any signs of actually moving. 

“You know, you’ll need to leave the tablet here.” Dr. Novak said. Honestly, the patient could take it with him (knowing that he didn’t have any violence records) but the doctor was curious how Kevin would react. 

Kevin looked up at him in surprise and fear, nothing less that what the doctor expected. “I-I can’t. I have to keep it with me.”

“Why?” Dr. Novak asked. 

Kevin shook his head. “No, I just can’t. I-I have to finish it. I have to solve it.”

“Can I see?” said Dr. Novak. 

Kevin set down the electronic pen on his side and lowered the tablet slightly in Dr. Novak’s view. 

He craned forward to look at Kevin’s tablet. When we saw what it was, he was more than confused. 

“I don’t see anything, Kevin. Are you sure it’s on?” 

The screen was blank and the power was gone. In fact, inspecting it, Dr. Novak wasn’t sure that it even was able to work properly. It seemed very old. 

Kevin brought it back to his chest. “You just can’t see it.” He looked down to the floor rather solemnly, “Only I can see it.”

“Does that bother you, Kevin? That only you can see it?” Dr. Novak said. 

Kevin shrugged, “A little, I guess. But I was chosen.”

“By who?”

Kevin hesitated, “God, I think. I’m not sure. I mean, no one has told me that personally. I, I just was chosen.” 

Dr. Novak nodded, as if in understanding though he wasn’t quite sure if he did. “You can bring it with you to lunch, come on, you must be hungry.” 

Kevin nodded and holds his tablet to himself and follows Dr. Novak downstairs. 

As they reach the lunchroom, Dr. Novak sees that Dean is back on his feet and sitting at the table with Benny. Gabriel is next to them, smirking. 

Dr. Novak introduces Kevin to the two men, “This is Kevin Tran,” He said, “He will be in our private group with Anna Milton.”

Kevin stands up nervously before the two men, keeping the tablet to his chest. He didn’t sit until Dr. Novak gently pushed him down next to Benny, who grinned at the shaking boy. 

Kevin sat down next to Benny and across from Dean, trembling very obviously of fear as the two men inspected the boy. Dr. Novak called Gabriel over to him to consult leaving Kevin with the men. 

Kevin nervously looked around to the men, holding his device to his chest. Benny only smiled, put out his hand and said his name. 

Kevin just looked fearfully at Benny’s outstretched hand for a while before the man pulled it back to himself, muttering: “Tough crowd,”

Dean grumbled, “What are you in for?”

“Um,” Kevin looked gingerly at the tablet, “This, I think.”

Benny snatched the tablet out of Kevin’s hands, “This isn’t even on. Does it work?”

“Ah! Give it back!” Kevin said, then took it back from Benny, who only chuckled. 

“You got shoved in here because of a broken tablet?” Dean asked, utterly unbelieving. 

Kevin rubbed off the screen of the tablet with his shirt, “Well, um, it’s not really the tablet itself, I guess, I think it’s what it says.”

“It doesn’t say anything,” Dean stated. 

“Not to you,” Kevin explained, “But if I looked hard enough,” He squinted at the dead device, “I can make out some words.”

To Dean and Benny, they saw a small Asian boy looking at a black, electronic tablet. It was a little humorous and a lot of strange. 

Kevin looked at it and saw a mystery to be solved, a puzzle really. What was a electronic tablet to them was the word of God. It lit up with patterns and symbols. 

Of course, they were hard to translate into English, some letters and numbers were off and it took a long time. He always got a headache from staring at it for too long. 

His mother got worried when his grades began dropping. Kevin would never settle for a B in one class much less a D in five. He dropped out of his clubs, quartet, student council, chess club, all of them. All he would do is go to school, come home and sit in his room for the entire evening until the next day to begin the routine again. Linda Tran thought she had officially lost her son when he gave up his diet as a vegan and began to eat whatever was there. 

She thought he was depressed at first, which a lot teens are in such a stressful environment. Then he began to go on about angels and demons and God. She wasn’t one for telling her son what to believe but she drew the line when he said he was a Prophet and that broken old device was the Word of God he had to translate from some foreign language. 

Kevin didn’t mind the hospital as long as it would leave him be. Of which he soon found that it didn’t. 

After sitting at lunch with the very intimating couple of men, Kevin was taken to the recreational room to sit for a while. During his free time, Kevin was able to translate a little more of the tablet. Half an hour later, they came back to get him and they took him up to an office with four chairs sitting in the circle, mostly occupied. 

In the chairs sat an odd group of people. 

Firstly, there was the buff guy from the lunch table slouching in the chair. He crossed his arms over his chest in obvious annoyance as if he was dragged here against his will. 

Next to him was a fairly pretty young lady with bright red hair. Her mouth was slightly open and she tilted her head as if she was straining to hear something very quiet. Or perhaps very loud, because she seemed like her head was filled with nothing else besides the sound. 

Then, sitting in the front of the circle was Dr. Novak, who smiled at Kevin as he walked in. 

And for some odd reason, Kevin predicted this was going to be one very interesting group to be apart of.


	8. Fun- Troye Sivan

Sam had scheduled a meeting with Castiel Novak through his assistant in the morning of Dean’s 13th day at the hospital. It’s been nearly two weeks since he has last seen his brother and he was nervous to even walk in the same building as him. 

Sam knew that the doctors wouldn’t let him talk to Dean yet. That is why he was meeting with the doctor. He wanted to see how Dean was doing and if he could visit anytime soon. 

Sam kissed his fiancee before he left. Ruby was excited that Sam was getting out of the house. Sam had not exactly told her that he would be visiting the hospital, not Garth. 

Yes, Sam lied but he didn’t want Ruby to know that the one time he left the house willingly would be to be talking to doctors. In honesty, Ruby hated doctors and hospitals and anything to do with that and so Sam didn’t bother asking if she wanted to tag along. 

When the younger Winchester arrived, he began to grow more nervous. What if they let him talk to Dean today? Sam didn’t know if he was mentally prepared for that. In his heart, he imagined his brother better already. He imagined being able to take Dean home today and Dean never go back to his delusions. But deeper, he imagined his brother worse than ever. And Sam didn’t know if he could handle that. 

Either way, Sam opened the door to the waiting room of the hospital, on the opposite end of where they kept the invalids. 

There was someone cleaning off the counter near the entrance. Sam asked the man, “Do you know where I could find Dr. Gabriel Norse?” 

The short man looked up at him and scowled, “Bitch, please. Do I look like some kind of secretary to you?”

Sam’s hands flew up in surrender, not sure why he was being shouted at. He stepped away from the janitor and went to the front desk and asked the lady sitting, filling out papers. 

“Um, excuse me, ma’am,” He tried to ask as politely as possible, “Do you know where I can find Dr. Gabriel Norse? I have a meeting with Castiel Novak and was told to first find him.”

The woman looked over her glasses past Sam and pointed at the short man that previously yelled at him, “That’s him.” 

Sam looked at her as if to stay ‘help’ but she just turned back down to her papers. 

Cautiously, Sam walked to the man, who seemed to be giving up on cleaning the mess. He said to him, “Um, are you Dr. Norse?”

The light-haired man huffed, “Yeah, and they are trying to put me on cleaning duty.” 

He throws down his towel and pulls a piece of candy out of his pocket, as if he was congratulating himself for his good work. “Are you Sam Winchester?” 

Sam nodded. 

“You are a lot taller in person,” He commented, “Anyway, nice you meet you, they call me Gabriel.”

They shook hands then Gabriel started walking down the halls, Sam following. 

“So, um, can I ask how Dean is doing?” Sam asked, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

“Your brother? Yeah sure.” Gabriel said with a smirk then didn’t say more.

Sam waited but Gabriel didn’t answer. After a long pause, Sam realized it was another trick. 

“How is Dean doing?” Sam caught on. 

“Oh, he’s swell,” Gabriel sang, “He’s making new friends, that’s for sure. Your brother sure does draw in a strange crowd of people.”

Sam had to smile at that one, “Is he getting better?”

Gabriel paused then continued, “We are working on that one.” 

The rest of the way to Dr. Novak’s office, Gabriel chatted freely about a lot of topics that Sam didn’t quite understand. But he was already nervous enough so he just nodded his head and let the man go on. 

Once they reached the second floor, Sam was jittery. He was looking around the rooms in the hope that maybe his brother would be there. But Gabriel reassured him that Dean was in the recreational room as were most of the others this morning. 

Dr. Novak’s office was down the hall from the rooms. Most likely so that he could be in close range of the patients. 

“And this is our dear Cassy’s office, who has been working with your brother.” Gabriel said as they walked into the room. 

Dr. Novak was reading a book on his desk when they walked in. Sam wasn’t able to make out the title but Dr. Novak quickly put it away when they arrived. 

Sam eagerly shook the man’s hand. “It’s so great to meet you, I-I’ve heard alot about you. I’m Sam.”

The doctor smiled, “Ah, yes, Sam Winchester. The demon boy, I’ve heard some about you too.”

“Um, what?” 

“Apologies, sir,” Dr. Novak chuckled, “I am Dr. Castiel Novak, I am the main doctor caring for your brother. I hear you have some questions for me?”

Sam sat down in the chair as Dr. Novak walked and sat back down at his desk. 

“Um yeah,” Sam said, “I wanted to know how he was doing. Cause when I dropped him off, he thought this place was Hell. Literally.”

Dr. Novak said, “Yes, well if you are asking if he still think this place as Hell, the answer is yes. According to him, each person in this hospital are a certain type of myth that he believes. But, before you get yourself down, there is good news.”

Sam listened intently, any news regarding his brother would be a gift, but news that was actually positive? He didn’t come to expect much. 

Dr. Novak stood up from his formal pose in his chair and walked near Sam, leaning on the desk. 

“Your brother is still immersed in his world. The prescription we gave him have dulled the delusions but he still believes. According to negative side effect of the pills, we are moving over to a different medicine. But I don’t believe we will get your brother to ever stop thinking of the world like this.” 

“How is that good news?” Sam asked. Shouldn’t ‘your brother is always going to think the world is full of monsters and you are one of them’ be classified under bad news?

“He is adapting towards living life this way. He even made a friend who he presumes is a vampire.” 

“Really?” Sam asked. 

“Yes, he even has brightened his world. It’s not just demons and monsters now. He has produced a thought of angels and Heaven, which from what we know is a good thing.”

Angels? “My brother doesn’t believe in angels.” Sam said. 

Gabriel stepped up, “He does apparently. Once he met me and Cassie, he called us angels. As flattered as we were, we don’t seem to be the only ones. A lot of the nurses up here are angels, but a lot downstairs are demons.”

Sam was baffled. Dean’s delusions are usually just about pain and evil. Does this mean that somewhere in his brother’s brain there lived some happiness?

“Your brother’s world is adapting and hopefully to something good.”

“When will I be able to start visiting?” Sam asked. 

“We are hoping soon.” Castiel explained. “We want Dean to see his family and we need to keep him connect to the outer world. So, if all goes well, we want you to visit this time next Tuesday. Will that be alright?” 

“Yes, yes, it’ll be great, thank you.” Sam said. So maybe it wasn’t a soon as today, but it was close. And that is better than nothing at all. 

“I have to warn you, we aren’t promising he will be willing to see you or he will react well. He might be upset with you leaving him here still, he may still think you are being possessed by a demon.”

Sam nodded, “I know. I understand that.”

“Good,” Castiel said, he stands up as Sam does and shakes his hand, “It is nice to meet you, and I hope to hear from you soon.” 

Sam smiled in agreement and turns to follow Gabriel out of the room. Gabriel holds out his hand as they are walking down the hall. 

“Gimme your phone,” Gabriel demanded.

Gabriel smiled at the tall man as he shuffled trying to reach his phone and handing it to the nurse before thinking to ask. 

“Wait why?” Sam said as Gabriel goes through it, grinning mischievously. 

Gabriel puts his number in Sam’s cell phone titled under, ‘The Trickster’. He then scrolls through Sam’s music for a ringtone. 

He scrunches his nose at Sam’s poor music taste until he gets to a album called ‘Dean’s Music’. With a smirk, he picks a song from there. 

Gabriel saves everything on Sam’s phone and hands it back. 

“Now you’ll know when I’m calling.” Gabriel smiled, “Can’t say I’m not a little offended you didn’t put it in at first. Might as well put me on speed dial too cause we are gonna be talking alot.”

Sam slide his phone in his pocket, “Uh, okay.”

“Great,” Gabriel said, “Well I gotta get back to working, and I bet you do too. What job you got? You a lumberjack?” Gabriel smiled brightly. 

“Um, no.” Sam said awkwardly, “I am training to be a lawyer, I just haven’t had much time…”

Gabriel nodded, “Well, nice to talk to you in person, Sammy, see ya next tuesday.” He winked and walked away. 

Sam was confused by the strange man. How in the world did he get a job working at a mental hospital? He supposed that working in such a depressing place, you had to be good at keeping up spirits. 

Sam walked outside of the hospital, but as he took a few strides out, there was loud shouting from behind him. 

“Catch him!” Yelled a loud nurse loudly, pointing ahead. 

Sam turned behind him to see a small boy running towards him, screaming hysterically and holding a bag to his chest. 

The doctor shouted at him a few more times before Sam realized she wanted him to chase after the boy. 

The boy sped past him and Sam points at him and gave the nurse a face. She waved her hands in the air and gave him a ‘don’t be a complete idiot’ look. 

Sam gets the message and begins to run after the young mental patient.

It’s not as simple as he thought as the boy kept making many turns and Sam wasn’t able to move as fast. And there was Sam Winchester, chasing a small boy in the parking lot of a mental hospital thinking, ‘I went to law school.’

Eventually Sam finally caught the boy when he tripped and fell backwards on the ground. 

Sam walked over to the boy and looked down on him. The boy was hyperventilating loudly. 

“I-I-I’m Kevin Tran,” the boy stuttered out, “I-I’m in advanced placement. P-p-please don’t kill me.”

Sam looked down and helped the boy up (well more like picked him up, the kid was shaking and still holding something to his chest tightly). “I’m not going to kill you.”

The nurse eventually arrived beside them, “Don’t worry,” she said, “He says that to everyone.”

The kid is still breathing loudly as she waked him away, whispering a silent ‘thank you’ to Sam. 

Sam adjusts him shirt and walked to his car. He re evaluates how he got in this certain position in life and hopes that it would never have to happen again.


	9. Mad Sounds- Arctic Monkeys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for another late update guys! But here's that chapter! Just four left until the end of part one. Enjoy! Oh yeah, Elizabeth says hi (:

Dean trudged throughout the daily routine. He was used to it by now and it was getting boring. He was almost happy for the new kid and the new private therapy group. But not enough to actually show any sort of gratitude. 

Every day after lunch, Dean went up to the office for group therapy with Dr. Novak. He was currently sitting in the circle of chairs with the other two patients. 

Currently, Dr. Novak was trying to get words out of Anna. Dean always thought this was a annoying and pointless process, so he was just folding and tearing a piece of paper that has been sitting in his pocket. 

“Anna,” The angel said, leaning towards the girl, who was refusing to make eye contact, “Anna, can you tell me what you are hearing today?”

She just shook her head and closed her eyes tightly. 

“Anything?” Castiel almost pleaded. 

This has been going on since this therapy started. Dr. Novak asks Anna to tell what she’s hearing today, Anna refuses to say or she claims that she can’t make it out. 

Dr. Novak asks again, then gives up and moves on. 

Anna squeaked, “I-I can’t. It’s too loud.” 

Castiel nodded, obviously disappointed but understanding. He sits back in his chair and notes some words on his clipboard. 

Dean knows it’s his turn next of which the doctor asks him a few questions (Dr. Novak was a better doctor than a therapist as so it went) and then Dean would have to give a new subject to talk about himself or Dr. Novak will go deeper and more personal with his questions. Dean didn’t have anything new to talk about so instead he changed the subject before it started. 

“So what are you?” He asked Anna, who was surprised to be referred to, “Some sort of psychic?” 

Anna looked up to Dean with a puzzled expression. “N-no. I just...I just hear them?”

“Who? The angels?” Dean huffed, “Sorry, miss, but the angels are already here.”

Dr. Novak sighed, “Dean, don’t be rude.”

“I’m not,” Dean said and believed, “I just think she needs to be able to see what’s in front of her.”

Dr. Novak jotted something down on his paper and Dean groaned and let his head fall back on his chair. He knew the notes were about him. 

Dean turned his head to the right past Anna (who was tilting her head listening to ‘angels’ again) and to Kevin Tran. The boy was also taking notes. He had a notebook and his broken tablet. Dean noticed that the kid would switch from writing on the tablet to translating what it said onto the paper. He wondered if that was Castiel’s idea. 

Dean lifted his head to see the doctor finishing his notes. Castiel then asked a strange question. “What do you miss from outside?”

This was weird because hardly any of the nurses or doctors talked about the outside. The patients went on and on about it but most of the workers pretended it didn’t exist. 

“Kevin?” Dr. Novak said, “What do you miss?”

The boy looked up for his tablet and starts fidgeting with his pen. “Um. I, I guess I miss my mom. And school. I was in a lot of clubs and extra activities to get credits for college. ” 

Castiel nodded, “That’s good.” 

He turned to ask Anna, but she said she didn’t miss anything. Dean had to wonder how long the girl has been locked up here. 

“Dean?” Dr. Novak said. 

Dean shuffled in his seat. He’s been in the hospital for some time now, and he has been starting to ache with separation from his home. 

“I...I miss my brother.” Dean started, which was nothing new to say, “And Bobby.”

The doctor nodded, but didn’t mark anything down like he did with the other two. Instead he said, “Anything else? I know you miss your family but can you think of the little things you miss. An object that’s close to you? A hobby you had?”

Dean was still fidgeting with the paper. But he smiled as he spoke his answer. “Uhh, well, I guess I miss my car. She’s an Chevy Impala ‘67. Rides like a dream. I fix her up all the time and I’ve learned enough to be able to work on other cars. Bobby gave me a job before I got bad.” 

“What do you mean by ‘bad’?” Dr. Novak said. 

Dean hesitated, “Like when...when I was thinking that my family was demons. And I was...I was seeing…” Dean took a breath. He always had a hard time explaining how he felt. And more so when there was other people in the room. 

Dean does remember how everything got started. He has always felt...cautious because of how he grew up. But when he was about 21, it got worse. He felt as if everyone was up against him, he felt cold as he would walk past people on the street or even his father. Then came the weird visions. When he would sit at a restaurant or talk to a motel worker...he saw something other than a human. 

It was like looking through a mist. Instead of seeing a clear waitress in front of him, her image would be foggy and blurred. At first Dean thought perhaps he just needed glasses but if he really looked, he could see the black eyes. 

That’s what broke Dean. Their fully blackened eyes. He stayed inside for a while after seeing how many of them there were. He did some research that Sam helped him with-the kid was only 17 at the time so Dean could imagine Sam’s confusion- and Dean learned that it was demons that were haunting him. He kept it to himself for a few years because even though the demons were terrifying, they weren’t doing anything to hurt anyone. 

Until...until Sam went off to college. Then the demons began talking to him inside his own head. Telling him over and over what they were doing to Sam. Even Dean’s father began to verbally abuse him again, and he swore that his father was one of them. 

It wasn’t until their father died that Sam came back. Dean was 27, Sam was 23 but one brother was looking after the other again. Sam was shocked to see the state his brother was in. He took care of him for as long as he could. Sam took him to doctors, got him medication, helped him get better until he was. But then when Dean slipped down the slope again...well Dean couldn’t blame Sammy for trying, could he? 

Wait. No. Why was he justifying his actions? Wasn’t his brother a demon now? He abandoned him here. 

“Dean?” Dr. Novak said, calling the man from his thoughts, “Are you alright?” 

Dean looked up and shuffled in his chair, “Yeah...yeah, I’m fine.”

Dr. Novak was smart enough to know Dean was lying but he was also smart enough not to pry. Instead, he leaned back in his chair and asked, “Dean...you said when you were thinking your family was demons. Do you still think that your family is possesed.”

Dean rubbed his arm, “I...I don’t know. I mean, maybe. But you know, those son of bitches could’ve fought back themselves. I taught them what they need to know.” 

“So do you think that your brother could’ve been saved? By, uh, other hunters perhaps?”

Dean actually hadn’t thought of that. Other hunters. He obviously wasn’t the only one out there, what if they found his family taken over by demons and they had to kill them? What if his family was dead? And he wasn’t able to save them. 

“Dean?”

“I’m fine.” Dean said harshly. He was almost sorry about his tone but he was too worried about his family to mind.

Dr. Novak nodded and wrote some things down. He checked his watch and sighed. “Time’s up for today.” 

The angel helped Anna to her room while Dean and Kevin were let go. 

Dean stood up fast and out the door, walking to the recreational room where everyone gathered to pass the time. Benny was sitting on the couch, watching TV and flirting with a nurse who wouldn’t give him the time of day. 

“Benny.” Dean said, breathing deeply in order to halt the anxiety attack rising, “Benny, come here.”

The southern man looked up, “Hey, brother,” He followed Dean as he walked away. Dean led him to his room where he shut the door behind them. 

“Whoa,” Benny grinned, “I hope you’re not trying to get kinky, because I know you get bored in the hospital from time to time, but I don’t swing like that, brother.”

Dean made a face, “Well, neither do I!” 

Benny shot Dean a disapproving look, “Don’t lie to yourself, it’s one of the worst things you could do.”

“What?” Dean said, then shook his head, “That’s not why I brought you up here. I need your help. I need to talk to my family. I think they might be dead.”

“Whoa, whoa. Where did this come from?”

“If, if they really are demons, then they could’ve been killed by another hunter. I gotta get those demons out of them before it’s too late!” 

“Are you taking your meds?” Benny raised an eyebrow.

Dean huffed, “That’s not the problem. I should’ve known better than to go to a vampire for help.” 

Benny rubbed his head, “Dean, you are doing good. You know that, right? You gotta keep taking your medicine and you can get out of here.” 

“Says who?” Dean shouted, “How long exactly have you been here anyway? I bet you checked yourself in and you have no plans of checking yourself out.” 

Benny sits down on Dean’s bed. “I don’t think this is really about your family becoming demons, is it? I think that maybe, now just maybe, you are realizing that they weren’t in the first place.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

An orderly opens the door to the room, “Checks,” she says, and closes the door behind her. This happens countless times a day. 

Benny stands back up, “I’m going back out into the lounge. I think you should talk your doctor about this. Or maybe just think about it for yourself.”

Benny leaves the room, and Dean is alone to his own thoughts. 

Dean sat down on his bed. He had been in the hospital for slightly over two weeks now. Everything was blurry. Was this actually a hospital now? Or was it still Hell? 

Was Benny even a vampire anyway? Because every day that passed, he seemed more human. So did everyone else. But how? His vision was only broken when the medication clouded what monsters he could see. But ever since the doctors didn’t moved their attention more to the new patients, Dean was able to tongue his pills and get away with not swallowing them. But...things still were changing. 

Dean put his head in his hands. Everything was such a mess! He couldn’t tell right from left and demon from human. What kind of hunter was he? 

Heh, he was deceiving himself if he said he was a hunter. What did he ever kill? Besides his own sanity, he had a no-kill streak. Even so...what was there to hunt anyway?

Dean sat on his bed going over these thoughts until his door open and Gabriel walked through.

The nurse looked down at the patient. “Dean, are you alright?”

Dean nodded and turned his head away. 

“Well, come on, you have to take your pills from the front.”

Dean didn’t argue. He walked to the front where they were calling names for the afternoon round.

And this time, Dean took all of his medicine.


	10. Heat of the Moment- Asia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! My drive wasn't working last week so here's last week's AND this week's chapters!

“I never meant to be so bad to you. One thing I said that I would never do. One look from you and I would fall from grace, and wipe this smile right from my face. “

Sam shot up in his bed as his phone rang loudly. He groaned and reached over to answer the call. In a groggy voice he said: “Hello?”

On the other line, a chipper voice called out, “Goood morning, Sam!” 

“Gabriel?” Sam asked. 

“Who else?” replied the caller, “Ready to see your big brother today?”

Sam instantly remembered, “It’s tuesday.”

“Well, duh. Have a bit too much to drink last night, fella?”

Sam stood up to get ready and realized that Ruby wasn’t on the other side of the bed unlike usual. It was only 8:00am so she should still be here. 

“Uh, yeah.” Sam thoughtlessly said. Was she already awake? It wasn’t like Ruby to wake up so early. 

“Thought so. Well, don’t sweat it, we all are a bit tipsy around here.” The nurse chuckled at his own joke that Sam wasn’t quite sure he understood. “See ya at 10:00, Sammy.” 

The phone clicked as Gabriel hung up. 

Sam was slightly startled by the short, odd conversation but decided not to give it much thought. He set his phone down on the bedside table and went to the bathroom to freshen up. 

Once finished, he put on some clothes and went downstairs. 

Ruby wasn’t downstairs either. She wasn’t in the kitchen or the living room or anywhere. Finally, Sam found a note on the TV from her.

“Sam, I got some extra hours at work this morning so I decided to go down a bit early. Sorry I didn’t tell you, it was really last minute! See you tonight, Ruby.” 

Sam sighed. She was never home. He supposed he couldn’t be too angry with her because she was out working and making money for their upcoming wedding. 

Sam put the note down. The only thing that bothered him was that she didn’t wish him any luck on talking to Dean today. Not even last night did she mention it. He knew that she knew about it, he wouldn’t stop talking about it all week. 

Sam pushed it out of his mind. He had other things to worry about. Like finding his keys, and his shoes. Sam sighed. It was going to be a long day. 

Eventually, the younger Winchester found his things and headed to the car. He started it up and the radio sparked on. 

“It was the heat of the moment. Telling me what your heart meant! Heat of the moment, shone in your eyes.” The radio sang. 

Sam jumped up in his seat in seat in surprise but shrunk back down in his chair. He sighed. That song was going to get really old really fast. 

Once Sam arrived at the hospital, he was already nervous enough to be shaking. Should he have brought something? A CD of Dean’s favorite music? Would they let him listen to it? A pie? Would they even let him eat it?

Maybe it was best Sam came empty handed the first time around. He didn’t know if Dean still thought he was a demon. 

Sam walked inside and a friendly nurse at the front showed him to the visiting area. Sam smiled at him and then went to sit down. 

After sitting for a while, Sam began to check his watch and begun shaking his knee in anticipation. Sam looked around and saw many other visitors talking to family and friends. Was Dean alright? Did they have to cancel because he was having a hard time? 

A few minutes later, a recognizable face came around. 

Gabriel walked up to Sam with a hop in his step. Even while Sam was sitting, Gabriel barely surpassed the Winchester’s height. 

“Hey,” Sam said, “Is he still okay with seeing me today?”

Gabriel grinned, “Come on, Sam, no ‘how are you doing’ or ‘hey, what’s up?’” 

“Oh, um, sorry.”

“Nah, its fine.” Gabriel said, “It’s just in the job description these days. Anyway, yes, your brother is still all for it. He’s just upstairs talking to Dr. Cassy and preparing himself for the big reunion. He’ll be down soon.”

Sam nodded. Understandable. At least now he had time to prepare himself as well. 

Gabriel fell down into the chair at the end of the table next to Sam and leaned his head in his hand. 

Gabriel grinned mischievously, “Now we can have a little chat ourselves while you wait.”

“Um, okay?” Sam said. 

“Sooo Sam….” The nurse smiled, “You single?”

“What?” 

“Nothing.” 

Sam gulped. Maybe it would be better for his nerves if Dean came down sooner. 

 

Upstairs, Dean was sitting in Castiel’s office with his hands between his knees. “Are you sure I’m ready? I- I don’t know if I’m ready.”

Castiel gave Dean a small smile. “I believe in you, Dean. But if you are uncomfortable, I’m sure Sam will understand if you need more time.”

Sam was out there, just waiting. That made Dean jumpy. What if he was still a demon? Was he ever even one? Dean looked at Dr. Novak. “How do you know he’s not a demon?   
He...he could still be a demon.”

“Well, people change, Dean. If you can, I think he can.”

Ugh. That didn’t help. Dean hasn’t changed that much. He still accused his brother of being a demon. Or he let his brother be turned into a demon. 

It was all so confusing!

“Dean. Are you okay?” Dr. Novak asked. 

Dean rubbed his hands on his pants but stood up. “Yeah, yeah. I’m peachy. Let’s go.”

“Are you sure, Dean? I don’t want to push you to do anything you don’t feel ready to do.” Dr. Novak asked with deep concern in his eyes.

Dean took a moment to ask himself if he was really up for it, but he didn’t stall too long to lose courage. “Yeah, yeah, of course. Let’s get at it. I don’t want to keep him down there too long.”

Castiel raised an eyebrow. “Why’s that? Does it bother you that your brother is in Hell or that a demon is in the hospital?”

Dean gave the doctor a disgusted expression. How the hell was he supposed to answer that completely ridiculous question? Dean shook his head, putting the thought in the back of his mind. He didn’t need that kind of stuff right now.

Dean just walked out of Castiel’s office. He could just hear the doctor smiling about his clever question. Whatever. Dean had more things to worry about. 

Dr. Novak walked with Dean. The doctor could notice the patient's sweaty palms and how he would wipe them on his pants. Castiel knew Dean could make it, and that he would be happy to see his brother. He just wasn’t sure how well the meeting would start.

When they reached the visitor’s area, Dean could clearly spot his little brother. Sam was awkwardly sitting next to the nurse, Gabriel. Even though the boy was huge, he was making himself as small as he could. He was obviously uncomfortable with whatever Dr. Norse was saying. 

Dean looked at his brother, really looked at him. He seemed tired. But he was the same. He was his little brother. 

And he wasn’t a demon.

Dean turned to Castiel, “I-I can’t. I can’t do this.”

“Why?” The dark-haired man asked, “Is he a demon?”

Dean shook his head and ran a hand through his head, ducking it as if he was afraid Sam would see him like this. “No, no…”

“Then what is holding you back?”

Dean took a deep breath. “I don’t know.”

Dean looked at Sam again. The kid was smiling so awkwardly at Gabriel you would think the nurse was hitting on him. That made Dean’s lip twitch into a smile.

“Do you want to go back, Dean?” Castiel asked.

Dean shook his head slightly. “No, no. I need to talk to him.”

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah. I’m okay.” Dean smiled, still looking at his brother.

Castiel sighed happily. “That’s good. Do you want me to come with you?”

Dean looked at the doctor, “No, I think I’m okay.” Dean shot Castiel a smile and slowly began walking to Sam. 

“Okay,” Castiel said, surprised with the sudden change in Dean, “I’ll just wait here then.”

Dean went up to Sam, whose eyes widened when they saw him. But the younger brother was hesitant and stayed still, waiting for Dean to make a move. 

“Dean-o!” The nurse grinned when Dean came across, “Nice to see here. I was just giving lil Sammy here company for you.” 

Gabriel winked at the two and walked off. 

Dean unsmoothly sat down in the chair across from Sam. For a moment they just sat, not speaking. Both uncomfortable but both so relieved to see each other.

“So, uh, that’s one of the nurses?” Sam brought up, attempting small-talk. 

Dean was grateful for the distraction to the silence, “Heh, yeah. That’s Gabriel. He’s, um, he’s an interesting one. But he has a good heart.”

“I bet,” Sam chuckled. 

The conversation ended for a second but was brought up again by Dean. 

“It’s nice to see you.” He said honestly.

“You too.” Sam crossed his arms under the table, not exactly at ease yet, “So...so how have you been?”

Dean laced his fingers together, “Good. It’s not...not as bad here as I thought. I’ve made a few friends. Got in trouble once or twice.”

Sam smiled, “I wouldn’t expect anything other that that.” He laughed to himself, “You know, I was gonna bring you pie or something, but I wasn’t sure it was allowed.”

Dean over exaggeratedly gasped in fake disappointment, “Aw, come on man! I get put in the loony bin and you don’t bring in some pie for your big brother? The most exciting things that go around here is pizza friday. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had a good burger? Weeks. And don’t get me started on the lack of good music and movies these people play. PG-13. All of it.”

Sam laughed loudly, “Okay, okay. I’ll bring you some stuff next week. I’m surprised you haven’t picked up any chicks around here yet.”

Dean shook his head and chuckled, “Nah, not yet. The, uh, the girls here aren’t too interested in me. Half of them don’t even know I exist. Or anything exists in fact. They are all pretty” Dean makes a circle around his temple with his finger. “loopy.”

Sam smiled, “Well, they can’t blame you for trying.”

“So,” Dean started, “What’s new with you? You still with Chrissy?”

“Um, it’s Ruby,”

“Right.”

“And yeah, we are still together.”

Dean nodded. Even though he was sure Sam was fine, he wasn’t sure about the others. He changed the subject. “So, uh, how’s Bobby?”

Sam appreciated the quick switch, “He’s as grumpy as usual. Actually, I tried to work down at the shop a bit but it didn’t work as well as I thought it would.”

“Oh no,” Dean laughed, “Bobby let you at a car? What did ya do to it?”

“I,uh, I guess I messed with something I wasn’t supposed to and when we gave back to the person, he came stomping in all muddy because one of his wheels fell off not even a mile out and he had to walk through the rain all the way back. Bobby put me in a desk job after that.”

Dean leaned his head back and laughed. Of course, Sammy had hardly picked up a wrench since he went to law school.

Sam laughed with Dean, he knew he was an awful mechanic but he tried because his big brother did and, hey, that’s was little brother’s do. Try thing their older siblings are good at; even if they royally suck at it.

After laughing for a while and exchanging a few more words, Dean solemnly said, “I missed you, Sammy.”

Sam smiled, “I missed you too. The house is quiet without you. I end up having to invite like Garth over.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “Garth. What has that guy been getting up to recently? Beside up to his neck in trouble.”

“Garth has been pretty good, just playing with sock puppets and making jokes no one understands like usual. But I actually got a call from Jody recently.”

“Jody Mills?”

“The one and only.”

The boys talked for the next half an hour. They caught up on everything they missed in the few weeks and then just playfully argued about music taste and how in the world you break a whole tire in a few unhandy turns of wrench. But it was nice, and it was familiar. 

Once time was up, the boys parted happily, looking forward to the next time. Sam making sure he remembered to bring pie and music and Dean, slowly coming to terms of how the world was falling into place, walking back to Castiel with a smile.

And they were both able to fall asleep that night with a large weight taken off their chest.


	11. (You're the) Devil in Disguise- Elvis Presley

Castiel went home after a long day. Dean finally reunited with his brother and it went well. And Castiel was finally able to relax. Even if it was for a little while. 

Castiel took off his coat as he walked in his house. He threw his trenchcoat aside, loosened his tie, and sunk into his lazy chair. Working wasn’t very physically tiring as it was mentally exhausting. As he sat, a small cat came and climbed into his lap. 

“Hello, Samandriel.” Castiel said affectionately to the cat. 

Castiel had received this cat from none other than Crowley. The head doctor had previously called him Alfie and didn’t take care of him very well at all. Castiel would’ve said Crowley had abused the poor thing but that wouldn’t be the best thing to convict one’s boss of. 

But Samandriel was in a better place now and that was all behind them. 

Though, it wasn’t the best situation. Castiel was not allowed to have any pets while living in Elysium Estates. It was the rule. No one liked have fur and...other things around the neighborhood that pets produced. But Castiel knew that the little cat wouldn’t cause any trouble and just made sure Samandriel stayed inside at all times.

A hard knocking was heard on the door that startled the doctor. It scared Samandriel as well and the cat ran off to Castiel’s room. 

Castiel sighed, as he was hoping for a quiet evening. But he couldn’t leave the door unanswered. So he picked himself up and turned the knob. 

It was Uriel, one of the more important people in the neighborhood but wasn’t much more than someone who got messages across and rallied people up. 

“There is an important meeting in the town, Mr. Novak.” Uriel said in a cool voice, obviously not pleased with the boring job he was assigned. “You need to be there.”

“How important?” Castiel asked, seeing if there was any way he could sneak out of going.

“Very.” Uriel said with a roll of his eyes. He walked off the porch and to the next house. 

Castiel sighed again. Well there went his relaxing evening. He put his coat back on, attempted to fix his tie (it looked a bit backwards but he couldn’t care less) and walked to the meeting hall. 

The hall was also a church. It had different rooms that served different purposes. 

It seems like Castiel was one of the last people contacted because many people were already gather and the head of the neighborhood officials was speaking. 

Naomi was the head of the enforcement officials. She was cold and knew how make bad things seem good, if only for so long. She hardly had any sense of empathy but she was good at pretending. At least that’s what Castiel saw. Everyone else didn’t seem to notice. 

But the main leader of the neighborhood, the one that made most of the big decisions, even though he wasn’t exactly qualified, was Metatron. He was in close touch with the governor of the city so he thought he had all the rights to do whatever he wanted. Really, he just worked as a scribe for trials of the city. 

Metatron was part of the government though and declared the head of the neighborhood because he had experience. He’s lived here the longest, before Elysium Estates was Elysium Estates. He didn’t seem all too interested in what the people wanted and just made sure everyone obeyed the rules. 

Castiel and Metatron didn’t get along very well. At first, they were fine with each other but Castiel didn’t like all the tight rules of the place. Especially since he was hiding a cat. 

Castiel kept a low profile. Everyone looked at him differently anyway, he didn’t need more attention drawn to himself. 

Everyone gave Castiel looks of half-hearted looks of pity. Not so much anymore but he had a reputation. He was the widow. 

Well, not exactly. Castiel had never been married, but he was close. His longterm girlfriend had passed away two years earlier. She had not been the most popular person in the neighborhood but Castiel loved her thorny personality. 

Her name was Meg Masters. Castiel had met her at the hospital where they both worked. She said she wanted to be an actress but it didn’t work out so working in a mental hospital was the closest second to the crazy she was reaching for. 

She had moved in with Castiel after she was kicked out of her own apartment. Castiel couldn’t remember what exactly for but something about disturbing the peace. 

She didn’t fit in any better at Elysium Estates as half of the residents called her a demon. Castiel didn’t mind it. Yes, she had her moments of attitude and rebellion but that’s what made her unique. 

When they found each other, Castiel was not very fond of her. He was an intern to the hospital and the doctor would keep hitting on him with jokes he did not understand. As he spent more time with her, he realized she had a soft side under all of that rage. 

The bud of half of Meg’s jokes came from his old name tag. Instead of getting him a new employee shirt, they had him wear an old one because he couldn’t afford it. Sadly, this shirt was worn and smelly and instead of his complicated name, they had overwritten the old printing with the name ‘Clarence.’ Castiel cursed the person who had gotten his name wrong. 

And once Meg Masters saw it, she never let it drop. Clarence was his name for the next forever. Even when they started dating. 

The two had gotten together in the strangest way possible. They had been working and teasing each other for quite a while and they both knew that they felt a certain pull towards each other. Neither of them really acknowledged it (except for Meg, who never passed a chance to tell Castiel how sexy he looked in his uniform) or acted to move on in their relationship. 

Except for one day when Meg and Castiel were both very upset with each other. Castiel had been assigned cleaning duty for the day and he happened to be in the same room that Meg had been completing paperwork in- her office. 

Castiel had a late night the pervious so he wasn’t in the best mood. Also the Estate he had just moved into required various different ‘new neighbor’ meetings that apparently had to last four hours on a work night. 

It wasn’t his best day, and Meg could obviously see that and obviously took this chance to make it worse. 

“You missed a spot,” Meg teases as she sets her feet on the desk that Castiel had just finished cleaning. 

“You should be cleaning your own office. Or call a janitor.” Castiel grunted. 

“Oh, but it’s your day to be the little cleaning lady.” Meg smiled, and she knocked a paper off her desk onto the floor, “So you better do your job.”

Castiel narrowed his eyes at the aggnorant woman. How could one person be so infuriating? 

Castiel swore to himself that he wouldn’t let her get the best of him and picked up the paper and moved on to the shelf behind her desk. He spotted something shiny hiding behind a stack of medical books. 

Not caring for the doctor’s privacy, he reached back and grabbed. It was sharp and pricked his palm but he chuckled when he saw what struck him. 

It was a unicorn. A white, pink-haired shiny unicorn figurine. 

“Well, look at this,” Castiel grinned widely. 

Meg turned and then gasped, “Put that back!” 

“Why?” Castiel teased, “It’s so cute.”

“It’s not mine! It’s….it’s my niece’s!”

“Really? What’s her name?”

“Lilith!”

Castiel huffed, “Why would it be here then?” 

“A leprechaun left it!” Meg growled and took it out of the man’s hands. 

“Leprechauns don’t exist.”Castiel said, completely serious. 

Meg’s face grew hot, “Get out!” 

Castiel put his hands up in surrender and left the room, feeling as if he won.

Although as the day passed, Castiel didn’t see Meg again. He didn’t get teased by her or get a playful wink as he passed her office. The door stayed closed. Had he gone too far? No, she had went even further than that before. He technically didn’t do anything wrong. He just noticed something perhaps he should not have noticed. 

That night, Castiel went to his part time job as a pizza deliverer. He couldn’t afford to pay for his medical school as well as his house on an intern salary so he had to to make ends meet. He wasn’t particularly fond of the job, most of the people he met were less than friendly. 

It was the last delivery of the night and he was more than exhausted. He did not have enough energy to be having these long days of work. Especially when Elysium Estates had just set up a curfew.

Knocking on the door, he checked to see who the pizza was for and to make sure he was at the right house. 

His heart stopped when he saw the name and the door opened. 

Of course, it was Meg Masters, standing at the door, out of uniform and in a black tank top and skinny jeans. 

Meg Masters squinted her eyes at the man. Castiel could feel sweat on his forehead and a knot in his throat as she glared at him. 

“Um, sorry. I didn’t know this would be your house.” Castiel stuttered, handing her the pizza. 

Meg took it and set it on the table next to her, never breaking eye contact. 

Castiel adjusted his shirt. He was still wearing his hat from the pizza shop where he worked. “Uh, I’m sorry about earlier, if you are still mad about that.” Castiel took the time to say, “I didn’t mean it if it hurt your feelings. And I shouldn’t have looked through your things…”

Meg didn’t accept or reject his apology. She only glared at him more, but this time with a rising smirk. 

Castiel stood awkwardly for a while until finally saying, “I-I would leave now but I kind of need the money.”

She laughed and grabbed his collar, and pulled him in for a hard kiss. Castiel yelped in shock but Meg shushed him. 

“I’m babysitting my niece, the little demon sleeping upstairs. Don’t wake her.”

Meg did a lot of things to Cas after that but none of which involved giving him any money. 

 

After that, they assumed that they were dating. Then a while passed and Meg moved in with Castiel and they were engaged to be married. 

Then...then the incident happened. And in a flash, she was gone. 

Everyone in Elysium Estates knew exactly what everyone else was doing so when she passed, everyone was very kind to Castiel. They brought him lunches and helped mow his lawn but he knew that no one was really sad about her death. They thought she was a rebel that ruined Elysium’s ‘perfect’ image. Now that she was gone…

Castiel looked back up to Metatron’s little speech. Everyone was standing around to listen to him. But Castiel couldn’t really care much about what he had to say. 

Though, the next words to come out of the egotistical man’s mouth would jumpspark Castiel’s body. 

“....And currently, we are doing a proper inspection of everyone’s homes.” Metatron said with a more-than-bored expression. 

Everyone was slightly stirred. They had monthly inspections of everyone’s homes to make sure they were taking good care of them, but a surprise one? Were they even allowed to do that?

“Yes, yes.” Metatron said, “I know we didn’t warn you, but as rumors have been saying, we have had a thievery last week and it’s only a protocol. And if you have nothing to hide, there is no need to worry.” 

Everyone relaxed, of course they had no need to worry. What could they hide? 

Castiel did not fall into that group of people. Usually, he was able to lock Samandriel into his attic during inspections. No one really looked up there. But today was not the day for this. 

Castiel walked carefully out of the hall. 

But he was too late. 

In walked Uriel and some of the others. Uriel was holding a small cat by the scruff of his neck. 

No. Cas thought. 

Everyone in the hall looked on with wide eyes. Metatron smiled smugly, as if he knew this would happen. 

Naomi looked completely repulsed, “Is that an animal?” 

Uriel scoffed, “It’s a cat, Naomi. We found it in a house. Someone seemed to be hiding it from us.”

Naomi asked, “Who?”

Uriel tossed the meowing cat at Castiel, who caught him with some difficulty. “Little Castiel Novak.”

“What do you have to say for yourself?!” Naomi asked, furious at the thought of anyone disobeying her rules.

Castiel stuttered to find the words until he stepped up and said, “I won’t get rid of him.”

Metatron leaned forward, “And why not?”

“H-He doesn’t have a home! He’s was tortured by his last owners,” Castiel pleaded, “He deserves a good home.”

“Well not here,” Naomi demanded, “Give him up.”

Castiel held the confused cat closer to his chest. 

Naomi said, “Either it leaves, or both of you do.”

“The animal will not be tolerated in Elysium Estates, Castiel.” Metatron said. 

Castiel looked around the room, everyone was staring at him as if he was dangerous or guilty of something horrible. He was just an animal! Could they not understand that? He was just one harmless innocent thing that had caused no harm!

But that was it, wasn’t it? It was just an animal. 

Castiel walked through the crowd with his head down and to Naomi who had a sly grin and her hand out. Castiel gave Samandriel over and looked away as Naomi gave him to another. 

“Send it to the pound, or whatever place in order that we never see it again.” The other member took the cat and then ran out, officially getting rid of Samandriel.

“Well that was exciting,” Metatron said in a dull voice. “Unless there is any other interesting things, I suppose we should move on with our meeting.” 

Metatron gave Castiel a smug look. Everything settled as Metatron began reading off his paper again and everyone turned to listen. 

Naomi smirked at Castiel, “Try that again, and I promise, you won’t be here much longer. And your position at the Fireplace won’t look very pretty either.” 

Now she was threatening his place at the hospital? What power did she have besides in this dystopian neighborhood?

Castiel shook his head in disbelief of the people here and left, walking back to his home while wondering what here was really his.


	12. Feeling a Moment- Feeder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick warning: This chapter includes mentions of suicide at the end. If you are sensitive, be careful around the last scene.

Dean was sitting at lunch with Benny and Kevin. The small kid had finally began to open up to the two of them and had also begun to look up from the small tablet he carried around. 

Dean had just got back from visiting with Sam. This was Sam’s fourth week visiting Dean in the hospital and it was beginning to become something they looked forward to. Every week they exchanged stories of what had happened during the time that they were apart. Dean usually had enough to tell. From the strange thing Anna was muttering during group (and how Dean would totally get with her if she wasn’t so crazy town) to the pranks Benny had pulled on Dr. Eve and how serious his punishment was this time. 

Sam didn’t have that much to chat about. His adventures with Ruby had greatly decreased over the four weeks that they had been talking. He didn’t know where she was and when she would be home at this point. In fact, the younger Winchester was starting to get worried about how hard his fiancee was working. When Ruby was home, she was sleeping or eating and wasn’t quite in the mood for conversation. For Dean’s sake, Sam was able to come up with stories to tell. 

It took Dean a while to rethink it. He had been here for seven weeks. 49 days he had been stuck in this hospital. Benny and Dean had taken many field trips to the garden outside just to get some sunlight here and there but that was it. 49 days in this mental institution. 

And he only had three more weeks left until he was out. 

Was he ready? He didn’t know. Since the four weeks had passed, his head had cleared some more. Although, he was still hesitant to let it all go. Were the demons real? And if they were real, why were they trying to make him see the opposite? His vision of them was gone. He couldn’t see any black eyes or smoke. He couldn’t smell the sulfur anymore. Were they just trying to hide from him or was the medicine working? 

He was so confused and when he talked to Castiel about it, the doctor only threw him stupid ‘words of wisdom’ and told him that he needed to think about it and figure it out for himself. 

He had been meaning to go to Castiel and talk to him a bit more, maybe go a little earlier to his own private therapy session but something new had popped up during lunch. 

This ‘something’ was actually a ‘someone’. She had recently checked herself in the hospital but apparently she wasn’t as new as Dean thought. 

Her name was Charlie Bradbury and she had velvet hair almost as strange looking as Anna’s. What was up with all these red-haired haired women? Obviously it couldn’t be that common, right?

Charlie sat at the table with Benny and Dean. Benny and her seemed to be acquaintances already. 

There was no need for introductions because Charlie made herself clear when she sat down at the table. 

“Charlie, you’re back!” Benny grinned as the girl came up to them. 

Charlie grinned, “Yup, I’m back from the dead and everything.”

Benny chuckled, “So how did the real world treat you, for what? How long this time?”

“Four months, and it was good. Went to some conventions, met a few girls, and just some good fun.” Charlie grinned. “How has it been in this pot-hole?”

Benny shrugged, “Same as always, but with a new friend. This is Dean Winchester.”

Dean put out a hand to shake but Charlie didn’t take it. Instead she asked, “So what’s your problem?”

Dean was used to this question. Outside the hospital it would’ve probably counted as rude or invasive, but here it was neither. In fact, it was the first step into making friends. 

The Winchester took a sip of his juice in a styrofoam cup and said, “Paranoid schizophrenia, with a touch of depression.”

Charlie nodded in understanding and, as if rehearsed, said, “Bipolar disorder is my official classification but the depression likes to visit and catch me by surprise on occasion.”

Dean agreed. Depression was a bitch, and it came to watch you burn even in your happiest moments. 

Charlie and Benny started to catch up some more as Dean looked down at his food. Suddenly, it felt rather off-putting. He has been over thinking everything lately and it’s been ruining his appetite among other things, such as his sleep patterns. It was like his head was trying to kill him again, but this time it couldn’t hurt him with hallucinations and paranoia, so it decided to use depression instead.

Dean should probably tell Castiel about this, he would know how to help. Maybe prescribe some more pills to him. Or just talk him out of the funk he’s been in. 

“Dean here thinks I’m a vampire,” Dean overheard Benny bring his name up in the conversation, “Of course, at first I was a bit shocked but now I’m kind of flattered,”

Charlie grinned and looked at Dean, “Really? Then what do you think I am?”

Dean shook his head, “I...I don’t see things anymore.”

“Aw that’s no fun.” Charlie frowned, “So which one is it that’s been doing the magic work, your doctor or your meds?”

Dean shrugged and started picking at his food, “Both?”

“Who is your doc?” Charlie asked. “When I come here, I get the worst one: Dr. Roman, aka The Dick, Dick Roman. He is the worst.”

Charlie was more than right, out of all the doctors, Dick Roman was the most irritating and hardest to put up with. Most of them were decent in their own ways, but everyone wondered how this one even got the job and why he hasn’t been fired yet. 

Dean answered the question, “Mine is Castiel.”

Charlie grinned, “You mean, Dr. Sexy MD? Ooo, and even on first name basis?”

“What?”

“Don’t play me, Dean.” Charlie winked, “I know one when I see one.” She took a sip of her juice while grinning.

Dean shifted in his seat, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

Charlie instantly changed the subject, “Do you listen to Elvis?”

“What? Uh, no.” Dean said, confused by the sudden question.

“Oh. Because if you put your hair in a mohawk and get a few piercings, you would look like someone from one of my favorite movies.”

“I seriously have no idea what you are saying right now.” Dean said.

“Aw, fine.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “So are you like the Lisa of this place or something?”

Charlie looked at him, “What?”

Dean put his hands out in defeat, “Come on, I thought we were making movie references! You know the movie with the crazy girls? Angelina Jolie?”

Castiel walked up to at people at the table, bickering about things. 

The red-haired girl grinned up at him, “Hey, doctor, can you dig Elvis?”

“I don’t understand that reference,” Castiel said. Then he looked at Dean, “But I understand yours. It’s the movie, Girl, Interrupted, isn’t it?”

Dean put his hands up, “Yes! Finally, someone who watches movies is here.”

Castiel smiled, “Yes, I remember seeing that film before my first day working at the hospital to see what it was really like. Well, I’m happy to say I was wrong.”

Dean nodded, “Well isn’t that the truth.”

“Well, it’s time for the session, are you done with your food, Dean?”

Dean stood up and brushed off his hands, “Yeah, I’m good. Let’s bounce.”

Dean left the table but when he looked back to wave, he could see Charlie wiggling her eyebrows at him. 

He got the message she was trying to send and shoved his hands in his pockets, and turned around fast. He quickly followed after Castiel. 

“So you’ve made a new friend, Dean?” Castiel asked as they were walking up to the office. 

Dean huffed, “I guess you can call it that. She’s a interesting character, that’s for sure.”

Castiel chuckled but it came out a bit sad and a little forced. In fact, Dean noticed that Castiel was looking down and crossing his arms across his chest as the doctor walked, something he seemed to do when he wasn’t in the greatest mood. 

Dean passed the walk to the office over with some basic small talk. But he was relieved once he sat down that it was Castiel’s turn to do the talking. 

“So Dean,” Castiel said, sitting down in the chair across from the patient, “How was your visit with your brother today?”

Dean shrugged, “It was okay. He didn’t have much to say but it was just good to see him.”

“Uh huh,” Castiel nodded, “And how is it seeing your brother again?”  
“Well, I mean, it’s good to see him. I’ve missed him. And especially now that my head has cleared up a bit, it’s nice to be able to talk to him like we used to. I mean, minus the hospital walls around us and the limited time, it’s nice.”

“What do you mean by ‘your head has cleared up’?” 

Dan rubbed his face, “I don’t really know yet, you know? I’m still trying to figure out what my head is thinking. But..but I know I’m still a bit paranoid. Just much less hallucinations.”

This is about the time of the private therapy session where Castiel would have turned from a doctor going to the natural questions into a concerned friend. This was something that Dean knew was genuine and was where he really got help. 

Something was different today. Castiel hardly looked into Dean’s eyes beside when he was listening to an answer to a question. His eyebrows scrunched together and his blue eyes seemed dead with stress. 

To Dean, Castiel looked like one of the more exhausted patients in the hospital. Was he sick? If he was, he must be very commited to come to work. Even if he was just upset, it should’ve been hard to come to the mental hospital that day. 

“What are you paranoid about?” Castiel asked, his low voice rough as if it was being pressed by a weight.

Dean shifted uncomfortably. Should he ask the doctor if he was okay? Would that be appropriate him to ask? 

Instead of all these things, Dean said, “Um, just about things recently. Like food and if I’m getting enough of it and like if my brain is trying to kill me or not.”

Usually, that would have been followed with a chuckled and a ‘I can assure you that your brain wants to be as alive as you do.’ or something along that. But this was just proceeded with and slight smile and a nod. 

Castiel rubbed at his eye and blinked a few times before asking, “So why do you think that you are thinking of these things?”

Dean frowned. That was an awful question. He couldn’t answer that, Castiel knew that Dean didn’t know why he thought this. It was just his head messing with him. 

The Winchester scooted his chair up a bit closer to Castiel, which made the doctor look up to him. Dean leaned forward and laid his forearms on his knees. 

“Enough about that,” Dean said, “I want to know how you are doing.”

Castiel smiled a bit, “I think I’m the only one qualified for that, Dean.”

Dean huffed playfully, “Whatever. But seriously, are you okay? You seem a bit off.”

Castiel opened his mouth to answer but then closed his mouth again. How should he answer this? He looked at Dean and knew that he wasn’t just a patient, he was a friend. 

“I…” Castiel started, “I have been having some trouble in my neighborhood.”

Dean nodded, “What kind of trouble?”

Castiel didn’t know how to word to so he just said, “Well, they have some rules that I’m not particularly fond of following. And that has caused some trouble for me lately.”

“Whoa, did you like sleep with your neighbor and disobey one of the ten commandments or something?” Dean said. 

Castiel chuckled and shook his head, “Um, no. Nothing that drastic. I...I had a cat.”

Dean straightened up, “Really? A cat? That’s all you did to piss ‘em off?”

Castiel nodded, “They have very strict ‘no pets’ rule. And curfew. And monthly house inspections. And lawn care requirements.” 

“Wow. Why do you still live there?” Dean asked. 

Castiel sat like a shy child. He hasn’t really opened up to anyone like this since Meg. He was usually the one on the opposite side of the conversation. “Um, the home was provided for me by my father. Most of my extended family lives there. It’s just been the only place for me. But lately, it’s starting to feel the furthest thing from home.”

“That sucks, man. When did that start?” Dean said, propping himself up to listen. 

Castiel shrugged, “Probably around the time when my girlfriend moved in.”

“You have a girlfriend?” Dean asked, a strangely stone expression on his face. 

“I...I worded that wrong. Well, she wasn’t really my girlfriend in the end, she was my fiancee. And...and she passed away about two years ago.”

Dean softened immediately, “Aw man, that sucks. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you. It was very hard at first, but it has gotten better. She...she was a spunky little devil,” Castiel smiled in her memory, “And the people of Elysium Estates did not approve of her a bit.”

Dean smiled, “I bet not. But...if it helps at all, I hope she’s resting peacefully now.”

“Thank you, Dean. I hope she is as well.”

Castiel wished she was, but the way she went, it didn’t seem as such. He said, “You know, Dean, you wouldn’t make half a bad therapist.”

Dean shrugged, “It’s not therapy if I’m not getting paid, and hey, we’re friends right?”

It was more than a question than he played it off at. Were they friends? Not just doctor-patient buddies, but actual friends? 

“Yeah,” Castiel answered, “We’re friends.” 

Dean smiled and nodded, though a bit forced, “Yeah, that’s good.” 

They were friends. That was good, wasn’t it? They were friends and that was good enough, right? 

Castiel felt better for the rest of Dean’s time. Maybe that’s what he needed, just to get some things off his chest. It was unusual, but it was nice. It was something That would take some getting used to though. 

Dean and Castiel walked out of the office together. Dean asked him, “So where are you headed next?”

“Anna’s room, “ Castiel responded, “She’s been...opening up more.”

“Is that why she hasn’t been in group?” Dean asked. 

Castiel nodded. For the last week, Anna has been staying in her room almost all day. She barely ate or drank unless someone was forcing it to her. But one thing did change, for a positive perhaps. She was talking more. About her past, her thoughts...the voices. Though it was very helpful...it wasn’t very pleasant. 

Dean nodded to Castiel who left to his responsibilities. Dean went down to the lounge where he would find Benny. 

There were a few nurses sitting around here and there, not paying too much attention. The day was pretty quiet so far, and most of the patients were calm around the lounge. 

Dean expected Benny to be in his usual position, but he was sitting next to Charlie instead. 

Dean walked over to them and leaned in the chair next to the couch. 

Benny grinned at him, “Hey, brother. How was Novak?” 

Dean shrugged, “Fine. Same, really. Where’s Kevin?” 

“I think he’s in the recreational room, trying to talk one of the orderlies to let him use the computer.” Benny chuckled, “Something about researching whatever the tablet was   
saying to him.”

“They have a computer here now? Like the internet?” Charlie said, “And they let you guys on it?”

“Sometimes. You only get on for about ten minutes a day, and even then half of the websites are blocked so it’s pretty useless.” Dean scowled.

Charlie smirked, “I can fix that.” She bounced up and walked down the hall, “Follow me!”

She took off and the two men followed her down the hall. Benny and Dean looked at each other in confusion, but didn’t think it wise to ask questions yet. So they just followed Charlie as she went. 

They reached the recreational room where Kevin Tran was sitting in a chair, pouting while an orderly sat behind him, leaning up against the wall. He looked tired, most likely from arguing with the boy in the chair. 

Charlie walked, more like strutted, in. She went to the boy in the chair. 

“Are you Kevin?” Charlie asked. 

Kevin nodded but looked up, confused. “Yes?”

“Great, now if you would follow me,” Charlie walked to one of the computers at the side of the room. 

“So what websites can you actually get on with this thing?” The red-haired girl asked. She began pounding away at the keyboard as a strange screen came up. 

Kevin stood behind her and huffed, “Just Google and a kids game website. Really nothing helpful at all.”

Charlie chuckled, “Not for long,”

They watched Charlie hack the system of the computer. She smirked when she turned around and cracked her knuckles. “And that’s how it’s done.”

Kevin reached over to the computer and typed in the link he was looking for. He looked at Charlie in awe.

“How did you do that? You must’ve broken through the firewall and figured out like ten passwords!”

“Practice makes perfect!” Charlie grinned. “There you go, boy. Knock yourself out. But once you get caught, don’t pin it on me.”

“Thank you!” Kevin said, and then didn’t look back to them as he went away to his questionable research. 

“Whoa,” Benny grinned, “You have some skills there, sister.”

Charlie grinned, “Just some things I picked up on the road.” She turned to Dean, “But you never really answered, how did it go?”

Dean huffed, “You’re nosey, aren’t you?”

“I just like to make friends,” Charlie defended herself. 

Benny laughed, “Good luck with that. Dean isn’t one for having friends. Or being friendly.” 

Dean rolled his eyes, “I’m just not in the mood to answer questions that are supposed to be private. You know, it’s called a ‘private session’ for a reason.” 

“You sure, Dean?” Charlie winked, “Any other reason why it’s called that?”

“Oh, shut up.” Dean said, but he could feel his cheeks becoming red. He scolded himself, he shouldn’t be acting like this. Castiel was his doctor, his friend. Nothing more. Nothing less. 

Dean changed the topic to Charlie, “So what are you doing here? Did they reel you back in?”

Charlie looked down and smiled slightly, “I...I chose to come back here.”

“What? Why?”

Charlie shrugged, “I go to different hospitals a few times a year. I don’t stay for long, just until I can trust myself to be out again.”

“Why don’t you just get a therapist on the outside and settle down somewhere?” Dean said. 

“I’ve never been for staying in one place.” Charlie smiled, “And...and...I like coming back here. It’s like a vacation from the outside world. It’s a rest that I need. And then, once I feel better, I’m allowed to go back out. It’s like being able to press the restart button on life. And just leave everything behind that was holding me down once I came in.”

Dean thought about that. Could he think of it that way too? In a way, it was a new start once he got out. He would be fine and he would be with Sam, Bobby, Ellen, Jo and the rest of them. But would he come back? Would he ever come back willingly? He hoped that if he ever did, that’s how it would happen. 

“And anyway,” Charlie said, “I couldn’t stay here for too long. I have cons to attend and a kingdom to rule.” 

“A what?” Dean asked. 

Benny laughed as Charlie explained, “I do some roleplay. Mostly renaissance stuff. And I’m the Queen of Moons. Aka: I’m pretty important.”

Benny said, “Or she likes to think she is.”

“Anyway,” Charlie rolled her eyes, “What I’m saying is that I’m okay. I just need help sometimes. I just need the escape.” 

They nodded at her. They understood what she meant. All of them wanted to escape from the world that their mental illness altered. 

After Kevin was done, they all had to go about their own schedules. Benny and Charlie to group therapy and then Dean and Kevin to crafts. 

Charlie left hoping that she helped Dean with her words. Even if it was helping him realize a bit more about himself (winks are implied) or by helping him know more about why they were in the hospital. But it turned out that she helped sum herself up. Realize that going in and out of hospitals was a good thing. 

And, maybe, Dean was right. That finding help outside the hospital was okay too. Maybe...maybe if having one singular therapist to talk to her would be good too. She could   
finally get some things of her chest she couldn’t with different doctors. Like...like the guilt that weighed her down daily. 

So the good day went on as they all parted. And it continued to be good. Nothing really too bad happened. 

 

Although, it wasn’t like that for everyone. In a cold hospital room, there was someone who couldn’t quiet escape her fate. 

Red-haired Anna Milton sat on her bed. Dr. Novak has previously attempted to draw her out of her dark space, but she refused and refused. She couldn’t. She had to hide. She had upset them. They were coming for her. 

She curled herself up in the corner of her bed. Her hair hung in her face and her hands were tangled into it. She was pulling and pulling until her hair came out. 

“Leave me alone.” Anna whispered to the voices. “Leave me alone.”

But they didn’t. They wouldn’t. The angels whispered horrible, awful things to her. Why did they do that? Weren’t the angels supposed to be good guys?

The orderly sitting in her room with her had just left. He was new and didn’t really like sitting around in such boring situations. But she had to be watched at all times, so they stuck on the new guy to sit around her. 

He had left to go to the bathroom. More likely it was to get out of the room for a little while before he contracted cabin fever. 

Anna hadn't really noticed his absence or presence. The angels were just so loud. She could hear everything perfectly clearly now. And she didn’t want to, no, not anymore. They said the absolute worst things to her. 

They wanted things from her. They...they wanted her to take things and then hide them. They wanted her to hurt people. But they didn’t know. She would get in trouble if she did, she would get caught. But the angels didn’t care. They wanted their requests to be done and done immediately. And if it wasn’t, they would get so much louder. She didn’t know if that was possible. 

They have been wanting her to attack the orderly and then escape. But she didn’t want to do that. No, no. She couldn’t. So she resisted. 

And they got louder and oh god, it was so loud. Anna couldn’t even think they were screeching so loud. She apologized and told them to go away. She thought her ears were bleeding and she was surprised glass wasn’t breaking. She could hardly make out their voices, just high pitched screams and yells, at her. And she couldn’t turn it off, she couldn’t escape. 

There was only one way to turn them off. The orderly had gone but he had left something behind. 

A small ball-point pen had fallen out of his pocket. 

He wasn’t supposed to have those. 

He didn’t know. He was new. He wasn’t to blame. But he gave Anna the opportunity. 

And she took it.


	13. This is Gospel- Panic! at the Disco

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I am not good at remembering to post on Tuesdays, am I? Well, here's another late chapter, the last chapter of part one!

It was wednesday and Sam couldn’t find Ruby. She wasn’t answering her phone or her emails. He hadn’t seen her since he left to seen Dean the previous day. In fact, he hasn’t held a good conversation with her for few days. They couldn’t be growing apart now, not when the wedding was getting closer and closer. 

Speaking of that, were they even planning it anymore? He hasn’t heard Ruby talk about it or ask to buy anything for it lately. It was still happening, wasn’t it?

Of course it was. Why wouldn’t it be? They... were just going through a hard spot. It happened to all sorts of couples. 

Sam had to find her though. Was she at work? Sam pulled out his phone and dialled it one more time, walking into the kitchen, pacing back and forth. It wasn’t like her to not answer after this many calls. 

As Sam went into the kitchen, he heard a buzzing near the counter. He saw that she had left her phone at home. A weight was lifted off his chest, so she wasn’t purposefully not answering. That was good. She wasn’t avoiding him.

Sam went over and picked up her phone. It was unlocked and there was a new message pop up. He shouldn’t look. He should respect her privacy. But with everything that was going on lately, he couldn’t help himself.

It was a text from someone named Nick. Who was Nick? Sam took a breath. He didn’t need to be a stereotypical jealous boyfriend. Nick was probably someone from work. No need to freak out. 

The message read: Hey, are you coming? Do you have the address? Ruby must’ve been in a hurry, which is why she left her phone. Sam wondered what business the two had together. Maybe Sam could find the address in her phone and bring it to her. 

So, Sam looked through Ruby and Nick’s messages. And, yes, he found the address. But he also found so much more. 

Sam grabbed the phone for evidence and his jacket and his keys. And as fast as he could without breaking too many laws, he went to Ruby. 

Throughout the drive, he began second guessing himself. Should he be doing this right now? Should he wait until she came home to confront her? Should he just let it slide, so a good thing won’t go bad?

But...but then he looked at those messages and they gave him all the convincing he needed. 

Sam pulled up to the address. It was a bar accessible from an rotted alleyway. It was dark and didn’t to seem to have gathered many costumers. Then again, it was still early. Sam wondered why it was open now. 

Sam walked in and it was as dark and gross as it was on the outside. The only few lights were above the bar and at the door. It was foggy from cigarette smoke and smelled of rats and liquor. 

There were only two people in the bar. One was sitting head down at the table with a bottle in his hand. He looked very young but so miserable. His shoulders were slumped down and his dirty blond hair was messy and his clothes were unorganized. 

The other was a dark haired man scrubbing at the counter. He looked about as miserable as the boy at the table but a slight more annoyed. 

Sam went up to him nervously, but still holding a fire in his stomach, “Um, do you work here?”

The man rolled his eyes, “Don’t remind me,” He huffed, “Welcome to The Pit, how can I help you?”

“I’m actually looking for someone. Is there a Ruby here by any chance?” Half of Sam’s heart was hoping the man would say no. 

The man looked at Sam with a mischievous grin. “Yeah, yeah. She’s here.”

Sam looked around the mostly empty room. “Do you know where I could find her?”

The bartender gestured to a door on the left, “Yeah, she’s in there. I actually think my brother’s in there too. He’s the owner of this place. I think….I think you’ll like him.” He smirked. 

Sam gave him a nod and walked over to the door. He took a breath. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as he thought. He held on to that hope when he knocked. 

He heard a grunt, “Get out of here, Michael!” 

The man at the counter, Michael, snickered. Sam swallowed and called, “Um, Ruby? Are you in here?”

“Oh, shit!” He heard her from the other side. That answered that question. 

Ruby threw the door open. She looked angry. This only made Sam all the more upset. 

“What are you doing here?” Ruby demanded. 

Sam growled, “I came to deliver your phone to you but it seems like there is a bigger problem here!”

Ruby took her phone from his hands, “Did you look through my messages?”

“Are you sleeping with him?!” Sam reverted. 

Sam looked over to Nick for the first time. The man was standing smug in his boxers, just sitting on the bed. He wasn’t scrambling to hide or acting shocked at Sam’s presence. No, no, he was waiting. Waiting for Ruby to get rid of Sam and go back to him. 

Ruby scowled, “Oh, come on, Sam. You can’t really get all fussy now, not after how much I had to put up with you!”

Sam took a step back, putting his hands through his hair. Oh god, it was true. This whole time. She was cheating this whole time. 

“You don’t even know how hard I worked! With you obsessing on your brother and never paying me any attention while I just worked day and night to take care of both of you two. The only reason I was really gonna stay was all that disability money Dean was getting. I mean, and even going back and forth between guys was hard. And I mean, it’s not like you can let me go!”

Sam looked at her, “What?”

“You can’t let me go! I’m all you got! Without your big brother and your dead mommy and daddy, what do you have left? I’m all you got. I mean, I’m sure you’re a little angry right now but even you have to admit! I’m-I’m awesome!”

“You bitch!” Sam shouted, his heart and head pounding, “You lying bitch!”

Sam took a step forward. His fists clenched. He wanted to hit her, he wanted to make her feel what he was feeling inside. 

But he didn’t. He couldn’t. So he let go and took a step back, leaning against the wall. He covered his face with his hands and tried to comprehend everything that was happening. 

He should’ve seen it coming. He did see it coming. He did, he did, of course he did. He was told straight to the face. 

Dean knew. Dean always knew. 

Ruby came up to Sam and put his face in her hands, “Come on, Sam, you are over-reacting, we can just-”

Sam gently pushed her off of him. He tore off the engagement ring that has been resting on his finger and threw it to the ground. 

“Sam!” Ruby protested. 

But Sam didn’t stop, he just walked away from her and through the bar. He walked passed Michael, who looked very annoyed with all of this, and the boy who was sitting so still forgot he was there. He walked out and, without looking back, got into his car and drove away. 

As he was driving home, his heart broke again and tears streamed his cheeks. How could she do this. They were going to get married weren’t they? Why….how could she?

He was crying so much now that he could barely see the road. He pulled over to the side and he cried. He hit his steering wheel and pulled at his hair. God, why did he let himself get into this? 

Sam took out his phone, and dialed the only number he could think of to help. It rang for a while, and Sam bit at his fingers waiting. 

Maybe Ruby was right. He didn’t have anyone when she was gone. He was just alone. 

But no, he wasn’t. The call went through and they picked up. 

“Helllooo?” Gabriel answered. 

Sam tried to swallow his tears and steady his voice, “Um, it’s Sam.”

“Well yes, I know that,” Sam slipped and choked on a sob coming through. Gabriel continued, “Sam...are you alright?”

Sam ran a hand through his hair, “Not really. I need to ask you something. It’s really important.”

“What is it?” 

“I...I need to see Dean. Today.”

\----

Dean was wishing Charlie goodbye. she had only been in the hospital for one day. It seemed like he had helped her more than she helped him. She invited him and Benny to join her next time her LARPing buddies had a ball. After accepting and silently promising not to, they said goodbye and Charlie was admitted out of the hospital. 

Dean then sat down at the lunch table and thought, I want that to be me. And that was it. 

He wanted out. And he knew, he knew he could survive it. He was ready to go. He was, he really really was. He didn’t feel the weight of everything on his shoulders, he didn’t think he friends were taken over by spirits or demons. He knew that was wrong. And he was ready to live his life. 

He wanted to go up to Castiel and tell him. Tell him how he felt. He looked around the room for Gabriel, who usually sat around the edges of the cafeteria when he wasn’t sitting with Kevin and Dean. Dean would see him leaning on the wall eating candy and playing games on his phone, occasionally looking up to wink at them. But today, the nurse wasn’t there. He wasn’t anywhere around the room in fact. Dean thought he would wait instead. Hopefully this feeling stayed with him for a while. 

Kevin was in a noticeably better mood now that he was able to get on whatever website he wanted. Charlie taught him how to break through the locks and he picked up the knowledge surprisingly fast. Even though he was only allowed on the computer for a short while, he seemed happy with the little improvement in his day.  
With both Kevin and Dean in bright moods, Benny quickly picked up the happy feeling. He had to be honest, it was nice not having to be the one to keep everyone’s spirits high. It was actually rather exhausting for him, but it was worth it. 

On the second floor of the hospital, things weren’t as blissful. 

Dr. Fergus Crowley sat in his office, filling out one of the most hefty stacks of paperwork his career in the hospital required. They were papers from a certain file he hated to have to open. The occasion that needed them only have arose a few times in his time, but each time they had different consequences. 

Dr. Novak walked into his office without knocking. His face was cold and stone. Hello, consequences, Crowley thought.

“How did this happen? When? Why didn’t you call me last night? Or...or even this morning? I could’ve came in and helped!” Castiel said, disbelief on his face. 

Crowley sighed, “I know that you’re little cult of a neighborhood wouldn’t quite like it and we had it handled.” 

“One of my patients is dead, and you didn’t call me in because you had it handled?” Castiel shouted. 

Crowley looked up and raised an eyebrow at the doctor. Castiel took a deep breath and sat down in one of the chairs in front of the head doctor’s desk. He leaned his elbows on his legs and ran his hands through his hair. 

“How did it happen?” Castiel asked. 

Crowley sighed. “She got ahold of a pen.”

That’s all Castiel needed to hear. “Do the other patients know?”

“There are rumors floating around the girl’s hall but rumors are just rumors.” Crowley said, without much regret in his tone. “Luckily she hardly ever came out of her room in the first place so they shouldn’t be too upset about it.”

Castiel looked up, “Anna is dead. Shouldn’t someone mourn her?” 

“She’s been dead, Castiel.” Crowley said, “I’m afraid she’s just made it known to the public.”

Castiel didn’t yell or shout for Anna’s behalf, he just stood up and walked out of the office. 

The doctor felt like such a failure. And he was, wasn’t he? He only had a few patients and one of them was dead. And it was his job to take care of her. 

He walked to his office and sat down, and a few tears even escaped. Who else would mourn Anna? Her family left her when she arrived and she had no friends at the hospital. 

Would there even be a funeral for the poor girl? 

Castiel stayed in his office in grief for a while until Gabriel came rushing in. “Castiel, I know this is a really bad time, but this is important.” 

Castiel sat up, attempting to pull himself together. “What is it?”

“Sam called. He’s coming over here to see Dean.” Gabriel said. 

“What do you mean? It’s wednesday, he was here yesterday.” Castiel said. 

“I know, he knows. But...something happened? And he said he really needs to talk to his brother.” The nurse said. 

“Okay, okay. Get Dean ready. Hopefully nothing too dramatic happened.” Castiel rubbed his temples. What a bad day this was becoming.

Gabriel nodded and left, to get Dean. 

Castiel groaned and shook himself off. He had other patients. If he failed Anna, he wasn’t going to fail Kevin and Dean. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t let himself. 

He had to keep going. 

\----

Gabriel was a bit rushed. A lot of things had gone down within the last day and the very very last thing he needed was a Winchester problem. Seemed like the last thing anyone needed. 

One of the patients was dead and he personally was having some issues. But none of that was important right now. He had a task at hand that needed to be taken care of. 

When he found Dean and told him what was going on with Sam’s visiting, the man was just as confused. Gabriel sighed. Dean was actually doing pretty good lately. The nurse prayed that this wasn’t the end of a good path. 

Walking down to the visiting room, they could see that Sam was already there. 

The tall man looked absolutely awful. And that was being nice. He had fat tears rolling down his cheeks and his face was red and blotched. He looked like he was angry and sad and just completely defeated. He slouched over the table and had his hands between his knees. His long hair hung down as well as his head. 

When Dean cautiously walked over, Sam didn’t care to hide his emotions. He was too tired to do so. 

“Sammy, what’s wrong?” Dean asked, his own voice shaking with nervousness of what happened to his little brother. 

Sam shook his head and took a stuttered breath, “R-ruby. It’s Ruby.”

“What’d she do?” 

“She’s….she has been ch-cheating. This whole time.” Sam said. 

Dean looked at his brother and then cursed, “Son of a bitch.”

Sam nodded in agreement. Dean said, “Tell me what happened.”

Sam told Dean the whole story. About how distant she had been lately, she messages on her phone and him visiting The Pit.

Dean listened with open ears. He couldn’t help but feel angry for Sam. This whole time, Sam was being played by someone who he thought loved him. He had been lied to and cheated. In a way, Dean felt so bad for everything he had said. Sam wasn’t ever a demon. He was just a victim, someone who needed to be saved. And Dean couldn’t save him. 

“You were right,” Sam finished his story. “She was a demon.”

“No, she wasn’t,” Dean scowled, “She was a bitch and a liar. And she definitely didn’t deserve you. You should never trust a girl who goes from a blonde to a brunette.” 

That got a small chuckle out of Sam, which made Dean give a breath of relief. But the light mood died quickly. 

Sam sniffed and looked to Dean, “But...but I am sorry. I...I put Ruby in front of you and I didn’t even know her. I don’t know if I ever did. But I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have ever put you in here, I should’ve been able to take care of you-”

“Sam, no.” Dean stopped him, “You are fine. You did what you had to. What you thought was right. And, actually, I’m glad you locked me up in here. I’ve...I’ve learned a lot.” 

Sam smiled sadly, “That’s good, Dean, that’s really good.”

“Thanks.” Dean said, “And I’m sorry about Ruby. She shouldn’t have done that to you.”

Sam nodded and shifted slightly in his seat. He wasn’t over it yet, he didn’t know when he would be. But he knew he wasn’t alone. And that was enough. 

“Dean?” Sam said.

“Yeah?”

Right then, Sam felt so small and like a child again, telling his big brother about his bad dreams. “I miss Jess. I miss Mom, even though I didn’t really know her. I miss you. I just want this all to be over.”

Dean nodded, “I know, I know.”

They were suddenly like children again. A older brother comforting the younger about a heartbreak or a nightmare. And nothing could separate them. 

But soon, they had to go back to real life, where they were separated by a white table and a contract that didn’t go out for three weeks. 

Gabriel Norse was leaning against the wall and practically banging his head against it. He had heard some of the conversation between the wonderfully heart-felt moments and he was not the bit happy about it. 

And he had heard enough to be furious. Nick and Michael? That was all he needed to hear. 

Looks like his brothers were back in town. And they were already up to no good. 

\----

Dr. Crowley’s day wasn’t as off as the others but it was still in question. All the bloody paperwork of Anna’s death was not worth it. The bloke who had left the pen will of course be fired at the nearest convenience and the police report has already been filed. Yes, yes. 

Now, it wasn’t that Crowley didn't care about the poor girl, he just didn’t see the point of getting all upset over someone who he didn’t quite care about. 

Crowley had put off most of the paperwork until the very last hour of the day. Which meant he had to stay late to finish it. He wished he could just give it to one of the interns but sadly that wasn’t the case. 

The hospital never really closed. People were always coming in and out and leaving things around. It was just much quieter and darker at the night. Which was exactly how Crowley liked it. He usually came in to work at night as well so he didn’t have to talk to people.

But on occasions, there were a few idiots here and there who came in his office at the dead of night. 

Tonight, one of them decided to make themselves known by knocking on his door at about 12:54. 

Crowley groaned and shouted, “Come in!” 

A long figure came into Crowley’s office. They didn’t ask to sit but instead made themselves at home by lounging across the chairs, butt on one chair and feet on the other. 

“So I heard about your little accident, Crowley, and I must say, I am not impressed.”

Crowley, for the first time in a long time, was at a lost for words. 

“I thought this place would be better than that. Especially after last time. And especially after last time's warning. Tsk Tsk.”

That’s when Crowley remembered the warning the hospital had given him. And the consequences if he did not follow the new rules drawn out for him. 

Red lips fake-pouted, “Too bad for you, Crowley. But, on the other hand, it seems like I found my big break.”

Crowley’s shocked expression turned into a deepening, hateful glare. Although the guest only grinned widely.

“It’s always a pleasure to see you, Abbadon,” Crowley sneered.

She grinned brightly, “Oh, I don’t think it’ll be that way for too much longer. I have big plans for this place, Crowley. And you aren’t part of it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after this we're taking a TWO WEEK BREAK to catch up on things, so check for part two on MAY 6TH!!!!!


	14. Kill Your Heroes - AWOLNATION

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back with part two! WARNING: This chapter uses a couple slurs against those of the transgender community, those who are gay, and almost uses one against the black community. If you are sensitive, please be careful near the beginning-middle of the chapter.

After he finished work, Gabriel Norse left quickly. Usually the nurse would stay for a while to fill out paperwork with Castiel or take an extra shift to get more hours; this time he left without a goodbye. 

It probably wasn’t the nicest thing to do, Castiel was under some serious pressure with Anna Milton’s passing and he needed as much help as he could get. But now, Gabriel had some business to take care of. 

Gabriel had been to his brother’s little pub before, and he knew it didn’t get much business. Well, not much business with beer and food. Gabriel wasn’t even sure either of his brothers could cook. Most of their costumers only stayed for a short while. They bought drugs and other nasty things from the two. 

By the time Gabriel got to The Pit, his hands were shaking with anger. His brothers (mostly Lucifer) had done some awful things before, but this was personal. 

Well, kind of personal. It was his patient’s brother that was hurt by his fiancee through Nick, who was his own brother. So all in all, it wasn’t too personal, but enough that made him know he had to do something about it. 

When Gabriel got to the pub, he opened the door and walked in. He tried not to look at the poor slobs drowning themselves in the tables beside him as he made his way to the bar. Michael was up there, playing with a shot of whiskey but not drinking it. 

Michael grinned when he saw his little brother, “Long time no see, Gabriel. What brings you here?”

“I’m here to ask you the same question, Michael.” Gabriel crossed his arms, “Are you so low that you’re roaming with Lucifer again?”

Michael scowled, “He changed his name to Nick, and you know that.”

“Really? His old name fit him so well.”

“If I were you, I would get out of here before he sees you.” Michael warned, “You do remember what happened the last time.”

Gabriel bit the inside of his cheek in contempt. It was true that Gabriel and Nick didn’t quite get along. Then again, Nick didn’t get along with anyone. 

Not even Michael, which still raised the question of what the oldest brother was doing here cleaning tables. 

“Didn’t you just get back from Afghanistan? Weren’t you a high-ranking soldier? What are you doing here, with him?” Gabriel asked.

Michael sneered, “They don’t appreciate soldiers like they used to, Gabriel.” Then in a quieter voice, “I’m only here until I get the money they promised me, then I’m out.”

“Why didn’t you just ask me? Or Raphael?” Gabriel asked. 

“Because he knows who his real brother is.” Nick said, coming downstairs from the small apartment on top of The Pit. He slurred his words and leaned on the wall. 

“Really, Lucifer?” Gabriel said, “Are you still on about the ‘different moms’ thing? It’s not my fault that dad was a player and had four kids with three women.”

“I just think that Michael knows where his real family lies, and you should learn it too.” Nick said, cold and drunk. 

“How am I not real family? We grew up together, we learned together, please tell how that doesn’t make us family.” Gabriel said. 

“You left!” He yelled. 

Michael shot Gabriel a look saying ‘Shut up for your own good’. Gabriel had been backing down to his older brothers to his entire life. Now wasn’t the time to keep quiet.

“Raphael was hardly ever one of us. He-” Nick smirked, “I’m sorry, she. Did you hear about that one, Gabey? Now Raphael’s a tranny and a nigg-”

“Shut up, Lucifer!” Gabriel shouted, “I’m tired of you saying you care about family and then stabbing each of us in the backs.”

Nick narrowed his eyes and wobbled towards the youngest brother. “You aren’t here to talk about family, are you?”

Gabriel remembered the reason he came in the first place, “You hurt one of my friends cause you couldn’t keep it in your pants. I don’t care if you sleep with a hundred girls, that’s not my business. But when my friends start getting the short end of the stick, then there is going to be a problem.”

Nick smirked and leaned himself on the bar. Michael was just quietly reading, not caring about the argument currently happening. 

The second oldest brother didn’t acknowledge Gabriel’s words and instead said, “You know, I’ve heard about that little hospital of yours. Who knew little Gabey would try to help people. The boy I know couldn’t even help himself. But that’s not important. What I heard is that, up with the big boys, that hospital ain’t gonna last much longer. Renovation, they say.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Gabriel said. 

“Well, don’t complain when you lose your job and you have to come running back to us-to me. Think of me as generous. You know that not even Dad would let a fag of a son come home.”

Gabriel cringed internally at the word. He growled, “Lucifer, you’re drunk and you’re my brother, but you are a great big bag of dicks.”

“What did you say to me?” Nick grumbled.

Gabriel leaned forward and as hard as he could, punched his older brother square in the jaw. Nick took two steps backwards to rebalance himself from the hard hit. Gabriel didn’t do much physical damage; the most he could’ve given was a bruise. 

But still, Nick gave Gabriel the most fierce look he’s ever seen. He charged at Gabriel in a drunken rage. 

Gabriel couldn’t tell you exactly what happened after that. He just knew that he was on the floor, in pain and Michael was screaming at him. 

“Gabriel, you fucking idiot, what were you thinking?” Michael growled, and he was pressing down on his side. 

Nick was leaning over him too, but wasn’t as worried. He was holding something shiny in his hand. 

“Fucking pocket knife,” Gabriel muttered in realization. 

“You gotta to get to a hospital.” Michael told him. “It’s not bad really. Believe me, I’ve seen worse.”

Gabriel was confused, then why weren’t they going? Weren’t his brothers going to take him? 

Michael said, “You gotta go!”

The nurse knew that Michael cared about him, but he remembered that his brother’s caring was limited when Nick was around. 

And being a nurse, Gabriel knew he had limited time before the wound became fatal. So, sliding his hand under Michael’s to apply pressure to the wound, he stumbled to his feet. 

Michael stood up too. Nick was glaring at Gabriel, like he wanted another go. But he didn’t, he just smirked and said, “Nice seeing you again. Really, we should do this again sometime.”

Gabriel just turned his back and trudged out the door. It was still sunny out and he was bleeding in broad daylight. He went to his car and closed himself in. 

That’s when the pain really began to start. He tried to start his car, but it was blocked from the waves and waves of agony. His shirt and pants were stained with blood and it was not stopping. He began to question Michael’s definition of ‘not bad’ and didn’t want to know what he thought was ‘worse’. 

Gabriel went over his options. He could call an ambulance. But then once he said that he was stabbed, he would have to answer to the cops. And given his current location, he would give away his brother’s little business. That might just cause more trouble. 

So he skipped that one. Too bad for him, there were few choices for him. And he definitely wasn’t going to choose to bleed out in his old little car. That just wasn’t the way to go. 

Gabriel winced as he had to move to grab his phone out of his pocket. Keeping one hand firmly pressed against his side, he dialed the first number he could think of. 

As it turned out, all of his friends were going through some bit of trouble, but just this once, Gabriel thought he won in the ‘woe-is-me’ game. 

“Come on, come on,” Gabriel uttered as the phone rang for the fifth time. 

“Hello?” Sam Winchester answered. “Gabriel?”

Gabriel grinned, “Sam I am, hey! What’s up?”

“Um, nothing. Can I ask why you are calling? I’m good not seeing Dean until next tuesday. Sorry for that this morning, though. Rough night.”

Gabriel couldn’t help but smile, even through the throbbing in his abdomen. “No worries, no worries, but, uh, can I ask you a quick favor?”

“Sure?”

“Great, great, could you, uh, could you pick me up? I’m in a bit of a situation over here.”

“Are you drunk, Gabriel? You sound a bit slurred. And it’s way too early to be drinking.” Sam scolded. 

“Not exactly. But, really, it’s kinda not a time-friendly thing so if you could,” Gabriel cringed as a wave of pain hit, “get here as soon as possible,” He said through clenched teeth. 

“Gabriel, what happened?” Sam questioned. 

“I kinda got stabbed.” He said honestly, “It’s really not that bad, maybe a few stitches... or thirty.”

“Where are you?” Sam said calmly, with a twinge of anxiety in his voice. 

“On the street outside of The Pit. I’m in my car. It’s red.”

“Damnit, Gabriel,” Sam muttered, “Okay, okay, I’m leaving now. I should be there in about 5 minutes if I remember the way there correctly. Stay with me if you can. Keep your hand on the wound, or use a shirt or something. Try to slow the bleeding-”

“Sam, I work in a hospital, I know how to care for a stab wound.” Gabriel mentioned. 

“Well have you thought about infection then?”

Gabriel quieted. No, he hadn’t. He really had no idea what could’ve been on Nick’s knife and having a open wound for this long was dangerous anyway. He looked down and took his hand off it for a moment. It was gushing blood and other things he didn’t want to mention. It was small in size but it looked pretty deep. A few stitches might not cover it.

“Get here as soon as you can, please,” said Gabriel.

“I will, I will.” Sam said, obviously a bit rushed, “Just hang in there, alright?”

Speaking from the black dots clouding his vision and the amount of blood on the seat of his car, that might be easier said than done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elizabeth says she's sorry for being mean


	15. I Wanna Get Better- Bleachers

Today was a good day. Dean didn’t exactly know why it was; his brother just broke off his engagement and Anna Milton died the day before, so there was no reason he should feel good. But he did anyway. And it was weird. 

Maybe it was because he finally had his head on straight. He knew what the world was now. He knew what was real and what wasn’t for the first time in years. He felt light on his feet and, well, he just felt good. Which was a good change, but an odd one. 

The next morning, Dean was still feeling well. He slept decently, and he took all his pills first thing. And when he when he got to his time with Castiel, he started the conversation.

“I feel great,” Dean said honestly, smiling, “I really do.”

Castiel gave him a small smile, “Well, that’s good, Dean. Any reason why you feel this way?”

Dean shrugged, and rubbed the back of his neck, “I-I don’t know. I mean, I kinda feel bad that I feel good. You know, with Sam’s problems and Anna’s um, you know. But I do, I don’t know why.”

“There’s no need to feel bad. You have been really progressing these past few weeks.” 

Dean leaned forward closer to the doctor before him, resting his elbows on his knees, “I know! And that’s just it, I think…” Dean thought about how to word it, “I really just want to get better.”

Castiel took note of that, “That’s wonderful, Dean. Now, you got here on the 17th of July, correct? So you have three more weeks left. If you are well and better by then, we can get you out. But if not, they can renew your contract.”

Dean nodded, “I want out. Do you think I could? I mean, I don’t want to relapse or anything, but I want out.”

Castiel smiled, “I think if we work enough, it’s completely achievable.” 

Dean grinned. He was going to get out. He would be free and be able to go back home, finally, with a clear head. 

But that meant he wouldn’t be able to see Castiel anymore. Would the doctor ever even want to see him again? 

“Well, I have a busy day today, is it alright if I cut this short and we’ll have a longer session tomorrow to start talking about your plans for achieving your goal?” Castiel asked. 

Did he do something wrong? He felt the urge to keep the conversation going, to go back and take away whatever he said. Instead, Dean just nodded, “Yeah-yeah, that’s fine. I wanted to talk to Benny before he went to his group anyway. See you later, Cas,” Dean slipped. “Sorry, that probably wasn’t very formal.”

He shrugged and smiled, “Don’t worry, I kind of like the sound of it. Always fun to have a nickname.”

Dean smiled in relief, “Heh, yeah,” Dean walked backwards and ran into the door that was mysteriously close behind him, “Um, sorry, I’ll see you later.”

Dean left the room quickly. What was wrong with him? He was such an idiot. He felt a little head rush after walking out of Dr. Novak’s room and his heart was pounding a little faster. 

No, no, no. That-that couldn’t be happening right now. He wasn’t twelve anymore. This was ridiculous. 

Dean repressed every single feeling he had ever felt and walked down to talk to Benny. 

Benny, as usual, was lying down on the couch in the lounge. This time, he actually looked like he was napping. Dean had to flick him twice on the forehead for him to wake up. 

Benny snorted awake and then glared up at Dean, “What are you doing here? I thought you didn’t get done with Novak ‘til later.”

“We got done early,” Dean said, “Where’s Kevin?”

Benny shrugged, “Probably in his room with that damned tablet. He finally wrote some words down in English but he won’t let anyone see ‘em.”

Dean nodded. That, and with Anna, it would make sense why Castiel would be busy. See, nothing to worry about. 

“You alright, chief?” Benny asked, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost...you’re not seeing ghosts, right?”

Dean sighed and sat down next to Benny, forcing him to sit up from his lazy position. “No, no, it’s just...I just have some things to figure out.”

“Don’t we all?” Benny grinned but it quickly faded, “Listen, I got something I have to tell you.”

“Yeah?” Dean said.

“Well,” Benny started, “I don’t know if you heard the rumors going around but the hospital isn’t really standing on both feet quite well. And-well I don’t know what happened- but they are changing things up soon around here. At least, that’s what my therapist told me. And, well, my niece doesn’t want me in a hospital that doesn’t know what it’s doing. I like it here, but it’s not like I have much say in the matter anyway.”

“So what are you saying?” Dean asked. 

Benny sighed, “I’m leaving soon. They think I’m good enough to be let out anyway, and Elizabeth has been wanting me to come back home anyway...well, I guess this is a good of time than ever.” 

“Oh,” was all that Dean could say. He finally found the words and asked, “How long do you have?”

Benny leaned in the couch, “I’m leaving Monday.”

“Whoa” Dean said, “That’s really soon. Don’t you have to get papers and stuff done first? Check-ups to make sure you are alright to go?”

“I’ve been set to go for the past few months.” 

“What? Then why are you still here?” 

“I’m not good out there, Dean. I’m not good with those people, I’m not good at working or making money. I’ve never had a relationship with my family and I get into fights all the time cause people just don’t understand me.”

“What do you mean?” Dean asked, “You are great at making friends, you get along fine with everyone here.”

“Nothing is permanent here. People come and go and they don’t judge you. Everyone is just fighting their own battles and don’t care if you are crazy or not. But I’m too good to be in here and I’m too messed up to work properly out there. I’m not a good fit, Dean. Not with Elizabeth, she don’t need to be taking care of me, and not on my own. I even tried to find a group home to be at, and they didn’t take me cause of my record. I don’t belong. And after a while, that starts to wear on ya.” Benny shook his head and chuckled, “Cry me a river, it’s not like you need to listen to this.”

Dean shook his head, “No, listen, I’m gonna get out. I will, we both will. And once I get topside, I’m gonna meet up with you. And we’ll figure it out, together. Just stay with your niece for now, and hang on. Alright?”

Benny gave Dean a smile, it wasn’t much but enough to convince him. “Alright. I’ll hold you to that.”

“Good.” Dean responded, “Until then, we can’t be moping around, right? Cause who knows when they will let me outta here and it might be a while ‘til I see you again.”

Benny grinned, “That’s the truth, chief. In the mood to cause some trouble?”

“When am I not?” Dean laughed. 

Benny smiled as he followed after his friend to their next activity, which was art group therapy. He was thankful for Dean and his newfound optimism, but he couldn’t help feeling unconvinced. Some things just didn’t end up working out as planned, and, Benny knew, this promise was going to be one of those times.


	16. Suspicious Minds- Elvis Presley

Life was weighing on Castiel a bit harder than usual. He wasn’t sure what it was; depression or the grief of Anna. He remembered how bad he got after Meg, and he hoped that the familiarity of death wouldn’t make him sink that low again. 

Castiel was having a hard time pushing through the day. Talking was difficult and his job was mainly just speaking to people, figuring out their problems when he should be helping his own. And Kevin was being stubborn. He had finally made a breakthrough on his tablet but wouldn’t let anyone see it. And convincing Kevin to do things was not easy. 

In hindsight, Castiel should’ve just called in sick and stayed home. He didn’t because his record has now already been tainted from his patient's death and he really didn’t want to stay at Elysium Estates, where all of the residents started at him like he was a black sheep. Which, at this point, he was. 

But instead, he pushed through the day. Working twelve hours in the still state of depression wasn’t easy, but he was able to pull it off. 

Half the day went by before he realized that Gabriel wasn’t there. Actually, he had noticed it earlier, though he had assumed the nurse was just late. But as the day went on, the absence of the man’s loud mouth became more noticeable. Gabriel must’ve given himself a day off, Castiel thought, and then didn’t worry on it too much longer. 

It was hardest to talk to Dean. He tried his best to put on a smile and get through it but Dean saw past that. 

Dean was a different kind of patient. He was more...personal. Even though Castiel thought every that everyone he worked with was important to him, something was different with Dean. He couldn’t exactly put what it was, but it was a relief to be close with someone again. 

Luckily and quickly, the day passed. Castiel stayed up with Dean in his room and talked. He wasn’t interested in going home anytime soon tonight, he didn’t care if he broke curfew. Not anymore. Dean usually had hard time going to sleep anyway, and he asked if Castiel could come and keep him company. It was nice to just sit and talk as friends. 

On his way back to his office, he was feeling a bit off. He thought it was because he hadn’t eaten much today, so he stopped by the kitchen. He went down and there were janitors cleaning up and he politely waved to them. 

There was an employee fridge where the workers were allowed to keep drinks and food that they had to keep away from the curious patients. 

Castiel usually kept all of his things in his room, but maybe there was something he could chew on for the night. 

He didn’t find much. Some extra pizza from a orientation meeting for new volunteers a few nights ago, some bags marked with names, and a jug of M&Ms that said ‘Gabriel’s! Don’t touch if you like your hands’. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a very large bottle of what looked like liquor that read: Confiscated! Someone please take home! 

Castiel wondered who and how they got the alcohol in the hospital and why it was still here. Fireplace never really did have the best security. Castiel looked around, making sure no one could see, and he grabbed the bottles. 

Two hours and 2 liters later, Castiel was totally and utterly drunk when he got a phone call.

“Hey, Dr. Novak-” Sam Winchester said. 

“What.” Castiel said roughly, interrupting. 

Sam was a bit taken back but he continued, “Sorry if this is a bad time, but I really need to talk to you and, okay, are you at the hospital?”

“Yes.” He said plainly.

“Okay, great, listen, I’m going to pick you up in like five minutes, can you wait outside for me? I’m sorry again, but it’s super important.”

Castiel didn’t say anything for a long time, then just groaned, “Fine.”

“Okay, I’ll be right there-”

Castiel hung up before Sam could finish. He grumbled and stood up, took a few steps and then fell to the right. He reached out to grab his beige trenchcoat, getting tangled as he tried to put it on. This was going to be a long walk down stairs. 

Eventually, he was able to stand in front of the parking lot of the hospital. 

A car soon pulled up and a tall Sam Winchester rushed out. 

“Hey-” Sam started walking over to the doctor, who was swaying as he tried to stand still. 

“I got your message,” Castiel said. 

“Uhm, yeah. It was a phone call. And you hung up on me.” Sam said, sounding a bit offended.

Castiel nodded, remembering, “I find the sound of your voice...grating.”

“Are you drunk?” Sam asked. 

“No!” Castiel shouted, taking a step and almost toppling over, “...yes.”

“What happened?” 

“I found some liquor in the employee’s refrigerator.” Castiel explained. 

“And?” 

“And I drank it!” 

Sam put his hands up in surrender, “Do you know what? We don’t have time for this. Look, Gabriel is in the hospital. He got stabbed by someone, he won’t tell me who. I don’t care if you are totally hammered, you have to see him. You’ll have to just see him sober tomorrow too….if you even sober up in that time.”

Castiel nodded, and Sam helped him into the car. 

Castiel slumped down in his seat. Gabriel was in trouble. And he was so caught up in his own pity that he didn’t even bother to call and ask if he was okay. 

Sam got into the driver’s seat and looked over at Castiel, “Are you going to be alright?”

Castiel turned his head sharply and narrowed his eyes at the younger Winchester, “Come here,” and he waved him closer with his hand. 

Cautiously, Sam moved closer to the doctor. 

“Don’t ask stupid questions,” Castiel whispered harshly. 

Sam instantly pulled back and nods, facing the front. “Alright, great. Let’s...let’s just go.”

Sam started up the car, and pulled away from the hospital. He occasionally looked sideways to check on Castiel, but the older man always met his eyes with an angry glare, so he stopped that quickly.

The drive to the hospital where they were keeping Gabriel didn’t take too long. 

Castiel stared at his feet while he followed Sam in, trying to keep his balance. On the way up, he decided he was at hospitals too often. 

Sam went up to the lobbyist and said, “I need to see Gabriel Norse.”

The woman instantly shakes her head, “Mr. Norse cannot have visitors right now, he has been moved to the ICU.”

“What?” Sam exclaimed, “I just checked him in this afternoon and he was doing fine!”

“He went into a shock-like state after you left, sir. He lost a lot a blood and we didn’t have enough donors in his type to get him all that he needed.” The nurse said.

“No,” Sam said, shaking his head in disbelief, “It wasn’t...it wasn’t that bad. He was cracking jokes the whole time while I was driving him here. He...he’s fine. He should be fine.”

“I’m sorry, but he’s not. Did he tell you he has type one diabetes?” The nurse said. 

Sam rubbed his hands on his face, “Shit.”

“We are doing everything we can, I promise. Can I ask your relation to him? If you are immediate family, we can keep you updated on his condition and when you can visit.”

Sam chuckled, a sad and distressed laugh, “No, I-I…” Sam sighed in defeat, “He’s my brother’s nurse. I don’t really know him that well.” 

Castiel looked up at Sam. Why was he so upset? In fact, shouldn’t Castiel be sad too? Gabriel was more of his friend than Sam’s anyway. He was the one who had to endure the prankster all day. 

Sam pulled himself up and turned to the drunken Castiel, “I guess there’s nothing we can do. It’s late, I should probably take you home.”

Castiel shook his head, “I don’t want to go there. The people there are very rude to me.” 

“Uhm. Do you have anywhere else to go?” Sam asked. 

Castiel shook his head again. 

The younger Winchester sighed, “Would you like you spend the night at my house? I have a pull-out couch.”

Castiel grumbled, “The thought of spending more time with you is enough to make me cringe, but I suspect I don’t have many other options.”

Sam rolled his eyes, “Great.” He helped the drunk doctor to his car outside. “And what time do you have to be at work tomorrow?”

“7:30am” Castiel replied. 

Sam sighed again, running a hand over his face, “Just great.”


	17. Knockin on Heaven's Door- Bob Dylan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in celebration of our last day of school, (and also a slight apology for the late update last week) here's two short chapters (: Enjoy (I know you will)

Dean spent the weekend with Benny. He usually did, but he knew this time was different. He only had a short while left with Benny. Dean couldn’t imagine how bland the hospital will be without his friend. 

On Monday, Dean could tell how nervous his friend was. Benny kept a smile all morning, as if he was pretending nothing was going to change. Dean could see past it but didn’t bring it up. 

But once it was time, Dean noticed Benny’s nerves coming out. He was going to go to the visitor’s room, and he wasn’t going to come back. Even Dean got a weight in his stomach from the thought. 

Benny turned to Dean with a nervous smile, “I guess this is it, chief”

Dean nodded, “I guess it is.”

The conversation ran off and the two men went silent for a moment. Dean looked up and cleared his throat, “I just want to say thank you.”

“Why? For annoying you into talking to me?”

Dean chuckled, “Yeah, actually. I learned a lot more than I could if I kept up that silent treatment for everyone. And I have you to thank for that.”

“It’s nothing, I promise,” Benny insisted, “Next time you want to be bothered, you know who to call.”

“I do, and I will,” Dean promised. 

Benny nodded, and looked down before saying, “I guess I want to thank you too.” A nurse came out, waving Benny over. 

The men looked at each other. Dean put out a hand, and Benny held it in a solid handshake, much like the one when they first met. 

Benny was the one that pulled it into a hug. 

They pulled apart, and Benny gave him a last, mischievous smile, “I’ll see you on the other side, alright?”

Dean nodded, “Yeah, yeah. Don’t get into too much trouble.”

Benny patted Dean on the back and then gave him a slight nod. He then turned to the nurse, took a deep breath and went with her. 

Dean watched him go, but Benny didn’t ever turn back. 

Once his friend was gone, Dean wasn’t quite sure what to do. Sam wouldn’t visit until tomorrow so it wasn’t like he had anything to do, just extra free time until his group session with Castiel and Kevin. Maybe he would just go early and see what his doctor was up to. 

Dean walked upstairs, went to Castiel’s door and then stopped. 

Maybe he shouldn’t bother him. He was probably busy and didn’t need him to come early anyway. 

Dean began to take a step back away from the door but didn’t quite go through with that either. No, no he was just letting his anxiety talk. 

But it had a point. He didn’t want to be any inconvenience to him. And there was no point to go in anyway, he should just go back down and find Kevin or something and wait until his time. 

Then he remembered last night and how Castiel stayed up with him. That meant that Castiel actually somewhat enjoyed his company, right? Or maybe he was just there because he had to be. It was his duty as a doctor, wasn’t it? Castiel could’ve found everything Dean said annoying the whole time but he had to stay anyway. 

Dean groaned and let himself fall on the wall next to the door. He leaned against it and squeezed his eyes shut. 

“Oh fuck it,” He thought and the opened the door to the doctor’s room. 

Castiel was sitting at his desk, looking very tired. Dean began to think that maybe it was a bad idea after all and maybe he should escape while he still could. 

But the doctor looked up at him and gave him a smile, and suddenly he felt better. 

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel said. 

Dean gave a nervous and awkward wave, “Hey. I-uh...I was just stopping by to hang out for a bit before Group started. I didn’t have anything else to do, so I thought, you know…” 

“Well that’s fine with me,” Castiel smiled, “Though I’ll have to warn you, I had a bit of a rough one last night.”

Dean nodded and noticed the empty bottle in the trash can, he grinned, “Aw yeah, I know those. I remember the ones where I got like really wasted and I would wake up next to   
someone and I wouldn’t even know their name. Sometimes they were even guys. Heh, you know those. Or, um, do you just roll that way normally.”

Dean mentally cursed himself but felt his heart flutter when Castiel just gave him a small, humored smile. 

Jesus fuck, Dean thought. 

“So was there anything you wanted to talk about specifically?” Castiel asked. 

Dean shrugged, “Just maybe some anxiety medicine sometime soon.”

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Dean said. 

Castiel looked up at Dean, puzzled. Dean noted how he just loved the way Cas’s mouth looked when it was pursed like that. Wait no. Stop. Dean shook the thought from his head,   
and then realized he had been standing there in silence for quite a while. 

“Are you sure you’re all right Dean?” Castiel asked.

“What? No, yeah I mean I’m fine. I um. You know I just have been, uhm, feeling a bit weird lately,” The words spilled out of Dean so fast he wasn’t sure if Castiel had understood, but frankly, he didn’t care. His chest was tight with nerves, and he needed to get somewhere where he could breathe. 

“Can you explain ‘weird’ for me, Dean?” Castiel asked. 

Dean shrugged and laughed a little, “It’s nothing really, it’s like a third grade crush.”

Castiel walked up and leaned on his desk, “Do you have feelings for someone in the hospital, Dean?” 

Son of a fucking bitch. Dean cursed in his head, “Uhm, no, it’s...it’s nothing.”

“It is Benny? Because I understand if you would-”

“Oh, no no, it’s not him, it’s actually-”

“And if you are, um, homosexual-”

“No, actually, I’m not sure but I still like girls-”

“So it is a boy?”

“Well, yeah, but it’s definitely not Benny.”

“Feeling romantic feelings is perfectly normal for someone, especially in such a life-changing environment as this. I ask you to remember that everything that happens in our private session is indeed private if you get anything off your chest, I am here for you.”

Dean just looked at him blankly and suddenly blush runs up his neck. He stumbled out, “Well, Cas, I guess that, well, I should tell-” 

It was just Dean’s luck that Kevin happened to waddle in with his tablet, ready for Group. Castiel said, “Maybe later this afternoon, Dean.”

Dean nodded and leaned back in his chair. Yeah, maybe later if he didn’t die from a heart attack first.


	18. Hallelujah- Panic! at the Disco

The two weeks passed quickly. Dean and Kevin became closer friends now that Benny is away and the little kid became something like a younger brother to him. He heard some news now and then about Gabriel, but not much information had been passed. Dean just knew things weren’t looking good. And he also heard about Sam being at Gabriel’s bedside every day now, which confused the older Winchester. Since when were the two friends?

Before Dean could realize, the day came and he was going under evaluation to leave the hospital. Dr. Crowley came for Dean’s last check up to be an appearance of his previous fantasties. Dean, though he still will need weekly sessions and daily meds, passed with flying colors. In fact, he was able to crack some jokes about how funny it was that he thought Crowley was a king, and how the head doctor probably thought himself one more than Dean had. 

At the end, Dean passed and was set to go home. When Sam came to the hospital, he had dark bags under his eyes but hugged the life out of his brother. He helped him pack the few things he had and took most of them out to the car. 

And when Dean saw his baby, oh it was like the world was finally coming together. Sam commented that Dean looked happier to see a car than his own brother, and Dean totally agreed. 

Before he left, he said goodbye to all the friends he made. Kevin gave him smiles and hugs. But even though Dean asked for the hundredth time, Kevin wouldn’t tell him what was written on the tablet. Missouri didn’t say much to him, just huffed at him and told him she knew this would happen. 

He walked up to the second floor alone and he realized the amount of people that were missing. Anna, Gabriel and Benny were not here to say goodbye to. Not even Charlie, who he had only known for a small while. He didn’t know if he would ever see any one of them again, well there was one he knows for a fact he won’t see. 

And there was one person who knew he had to. 

He knocked on Dr. Novak’s door and it was immediately opened. Cas smiled at Dean and waved him to come in. 

“I was waiting for you to come up,” Castiel said, “I was going to meet you down there if you didn’t though. I was actually about to go in a moment.”

“Well, can’t miss saying goodbye to the reason I’m able to get out of here.” Dean chuckled. 

Castiel pursed his lips, “Dean, you need to know that you yourself has moved forward. You should give yourself reward for your own progress.”

Dean nodded and stepped towards him, “So I guess this is goodbye then.”

The doctor smiled, “If you ever need anything, you can always contact me. I’ll be here for you and I’ll come whenever you call.” 

And with that, Dean lost whatever control he previously had. He moved forward and grabbed Castiel’s fingers and placed a hand on his cheek, and with no hesitance, he closed the gap between their lips. 

Dean kissed Cas hard and nervously. Cas was still under Dean’s mouth and he was about to pull back, regretting everything until suddenly Castiel moved his hands to rest on Dean’s neck and then everything just 

melted and they were kissing soft and gentle. Cas shuffled back so he was leaning against his desk while moving his lips underneath Dean’s. Dean pressed his body closer to Cas’s, trying to get closer to him while his hands began exploring his back. 

It wasn’t until Dean’s mouth opened slightly and his tongue darted out to line Castiel’s bottom lip that the doctor suddenly pulled away. And they were left pressed close together, breathing heavily with their lips buzzing and their heads spinning. 

“I-” Castiel didn’t know what to say. Should he scold the behavior? “There are only so many things I can say to that.” He ended up remarking. 

Dean licked his lips and smiled, “Can I ask what are a few of them?”

Castiel opened his mouth, trying to figure out what to say. And he decided to be honest, “Do it again.”

Dean chuckled and ran his hand up Castiel’s arm, “Um, maybe later? I need to go back down to Sam or he’ll kill me. And if we start again...I’m not sure how easily I’ll be able to stop.”

“I understand.” Castiel smiled, “So later?”

“Later.” Dean moved away from the doctor, not realizing how close they were until he was away, “So I’ll call you?”

Castiel laughed, “Yes, you better.”

“I will. I’m not one for leaving people hanging.” Dean flirted. 

Castiel grinned and nodded, still tingling from the kiss. 

Dean turned around and headed to the door, but stopped when Castiel called his name. 

“Yes?” Dean asked. 

Castiel was suddenly in front of him. He grabbed Dean’s collar and smashed his mouth on his. 

“Five minutes,” Castiel demanded with a gruff voice. 

*******************************************************************************************************

Seven minutes later, Dean was down in the Impala next to Sam. 

Sam looked at his brother, who was wearing a giddy expression. “Hey, are you alright?” 

Dean shrugged with the biggest grin plastered on his face, “What? Oh, yeah, I’m great. Just...peachy.”

“Alright then. Let’s...let’s just go home.” Sam said, driving the Impala out of the parking lot. 

Dean was fine with Sam driving because he was able to turn up the radio, lean back and close his eyes in perfect bliss with everything around him.


	19. No Sugar in My Coffee- Caught a Ghost

Home. 

It was a nice feeling, it was a nice smell. Though there were difficult memories there, it was nice. 

Dean walked in and set his small box of things on the counter in the kitchen. The house was a rather messy, there were cups and things littered around. Judging by the pizza boxes stacked on the table, it looked like Sam hadn’t eaten anything but take-out for a while. 

The older brother picked up one of the pizza boxes and inspected it. He chuckled as he waved it at Sam, “Real healthy living, Sammy.”

Sam just smiled and shook his head, “It hasn’t been easy.” 

“I know, Sam, I know.” Dean went over and patted Sam on the shoulder before moving into the family room. “You know, maybe I’ll get a solid job at Bobby’s. And eventually I’ll be able to get my own place and get out of your hair.” 

“I don’t mind it, Dean, you know that.” Sam insisted. 

Dean just smiled and nodded, picking his box back up and walking upstairs to his room. 

He heard Sam call up, “Hey, everybody is at the Roadhouse and they want us to go visit.”

Dean went back down to Sam, who was standing awkwardly at the base of the stairs. Sam said, “But if you don’t want to, if you want to rest, that’s perfectly fine. They will understand. Actually, I think it’s kinda ridiculous that they would ask you to go out today.”

Dean shrugged, “Why? I’m not broken. If anything, I’m fixed, aren’t I?”

“Dean, there still are things you need to get through. You still need time to recover. Take it slowly, give yourself a bit to get back into the world.”

“You don’t have to treat me with baby gloves, alright? I’m a grown man, I can take care of myself.”

“You were in a mental institution this morning, Dean! Kill me if I think you need a little time to adjust!” Sam said. 

Dean looked at his little brother and then darted his eyes to the floor, nodding, “Alright, I understand. But I still want to go. We’ll just…just stay an hour or two. No drinking. I just want to see them. It’s been ten weeks.”

“Okay, okay. We’ll just take it easy then.” Sam said as he went around and grabbed the keys that he had previously put on the counter. He turned to Dean, “I’m guessing you want to drive the Impala?”

Dean upright giggled, “Oh yes, gimme.”

Sam laughed as he tossed his brother the keys. 

The oldest Winchester practically skipped to the car, stroking the wheel and humming when the buzz of the car starts up in his ears. 

“Ah, it’s just not the same in the driver’s seat, is it Baby?” Dean grinned, he began flipping through the pre-positioned radio channels. He mused when they are all the ones he remembers: The Top Rock Songs and Greatest Hits of 1970s. Until he gets to the to the third and suddenly the Top Pop Hits come on and Dean gives Sam a heated glare. 

“Really? Really?” Dean said, instantly changing the station to what it should be, Rock for the Road, “C’mon, Sam!”

“Hey, you were gone for ten weeks, remember? I was gonna change it back before you got back, but I‘ve been busy these past days.”

Dean just huffed, “Driver picks the music, and you, the shotgun, better shut his cakehole.” He started driving and got on the road, loving every second with his Baby. “But first, why don’t you tell me what’s up with you and Gabriel?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I just didn’t know you knew each other and now you are sitting awake by his bedside like a worried wife.”

Sam shrugged, “I don’t know, I mean, you’re right. I really don’t know him that well. He’s actually more of a pain in the ass then anything. But...he doesn’t have anyone to worry about him or to greet him whenever he wakes up. And he’s been nice to me a few times, and he called me when he got hurt. I don’t know really, I guess I just feel responsible.”

Dean shook his head, “You don’t need that pressure on you, Sam. I know Gabriel, he can be a handful sometimes but he’s a good man. But you don’t need to feel responsible for what happened to him. You can’t have the weight of anything that goes wrong on your shoulders all the time.”

“I know, I know.” Sam said, “I just want to be there for him.”

“Alright,” Dean said. The rest of the ride was in silence (beside the blaring of rock music from the radio) and it only took a few more turns before they reached the Harvelle’s Roadhouse. 

Dean took a big breath before he walked in the building. There were only a few cars parked in the lot, so it meant that it was closed and only a few people would be there. Sam came behind and patted Dean on the shoulder, before opening the door and walking in. 

Dean came in behind Sam, taking everything in. The Roadhouse hadn’t changed a bit. It smelt like whiskey and sounded like jukebox music, but it felt like home. 

The first person Dean saw was Jo, who was cleaning tables. Sam first went over and talked to her. 

Dean stood in the back awkwardly, taking his time just looking around taking everything in. He felt like an animal about to be put on display. He knows he shouldn’t, these were friends and family, but he couldn’t help it. 

Jo looked around Sam and at Dean. Dean gave her a small wave. Jo shot him with a great smile. 

Sam walked away and went back behind the bar, leaving Dean with the girl. 

Jo sat on top of the table turning towards Dean with a smile, “So how are you?”

Dean shrugged, “Better than ever.”

“Really? That’s great.” Jo said. 

“How have you been?” Dean said. “Anything fun happen while I was detained?”

“Not much really. I dumped a guy, got back together, then he dumped me. Just the usual.” Jo grinned. 

Dean was about to comment, but suddenly he heard someone say, “Why if it isn't Dean Winchester.” 

From the behind the counter, a group of people came from the room in the back, behind the kitchen. Not many people knew about the room, but it was loaded with very interesting stuff that the Harvelle’s kept around. 

Pamela, a dark haired, smiley lady came up to Dean and pulled him in a embrace. 

Dean grinned brightly, and pulled back out of the hug, “What are you doing here? I didn’t know you hung out with this crowd.”

She smiled and shrugged, “Well, I came here a few times with Ash and Ellen offered me a job a bit back. I couldn’t help but to accept.”

Ash took a spot at the table, pouring himself a drink and throwing up a rock hand signal when his name was said. Ellen came by, taking her turn hugging Dean. 

“She’s a good worker,” Ellen commented, “Though she gets a bit too distracted, flirts with the boys too much. Which was the same problem with you, wasn’t it?”

Dean chuckled and asked Pamela, “What happened to that other job as a psychic or something at that state fair? That’s where I met you. Ash, Sam and I all worked there during the summer.”

Pamela scoffed, “You remember that, but you don’t remember you and Sam getting me fired? I lost everything and nearly got my eyes taken out by everyone calling me a fake.”

In sudden realization, Dean covered his mouth with a guilty chuckle, “Oh now I do. If it makes you feel better, we got Ash fired too.”

Ash threw up the hand sign again and took a swig of the drink, “Cool with it!”

They all laughed. Sam came out of the back with an very familiar face behind him. 

Dean took a step away from the ladies to approach the man and wore a greatest grin yet. 

“Boy,” Bobby chuckled, “You look all grown up.”

Dean laughed and puts his arms around his surrogate father. “I’ve missed you, Bobby. Why didn’t you visit?”

Bobby shook his head, “Apparently it’s only immediate family. Since I don’t have any ‘legal’ guardianship over you, they wouldn’t let me. Even though I gave them a few pieces of my mind, they wouldn’t give in.”

“Well it’s good to see you now.” Dean said. 

Bobby nodded and agreed. 

Ellen cleared her throat, “So in celebration of Dean, we have a few things planned.”

“What kind of things?” Dean said, wiggling his eyebrows towards the direction of Pamela, who winked back at him. 

“Oh you shush,” Ellen scolded, “Did you learn nothing about self-respect while you were away?”

“Hey, I’ve been clean from everything in the past ten weeks, give me a bit of leg room here,” Dean teased. 

“What I mean is that we have at least a dozen pies behind the counter and a few gifts between us for you to get you back on your feet.”

“Aw, come on. You don’t need to do that.” Dean insisted. 

Ash pulled out a few pies from behind the counter, “Fine, more for me.”

Dean’s eyes widened and he walked toward Ash, “On the other hand…”

The afternoon quickly grew into the evening and they were still at the Roadhouse. The ‘one or two hours’ they meant to spend passed by in a flash of laughs and desserts. Soon, they began to pass around the bar’s drinks (limiting Dean to only a two glasses) and it grew into a regular hang out with music and such. 

They were talking about Sam’s mess ups while he was working for Bobby when the door opened. 

Dean was waiting for Ellen to shout how they were closed today, but when she didn’t, he turned around to see who it was. 

Castiel Novak walked into the building wearing a suit underneath a beige trenchcoat. He looked a little awkward but was wearing a smile. 

Sam, who was more than pleased for the distraction, went over and greeted Castiel with a small hug. “Glad you could make it.”

“Me too,” Castiel smiled.

Dean turned around in his seat, “Hey, Cas. What are you doing here?”

“Sam invited me. He said you all were having a little celebration and thought I would like to go after working. He was right.”

“So you are Dr. Novak?” Ellen said from behind the counter, “Dean has said a lot about you.”

“All good things I hope?” Castiel smiled. 

Ellen smiled, “Would you like anything to drink?”

Castiel shook his head, “Maybe some water?”

Bobby came over to the doctor and shook his hand, “Thank you for helping out Dean.” 

The doctor smiled, “I just did my job, it was Dean who made the real progress.”

“Ugh,” Dean rolled his eyes and groaned, “Just...don’t start. I’m a grown man, not a kid who got a better grade on my report card. Get Cas a drink. Like a margarita or something.”

Castiel laughed, “Really, Dean? A margarita?”

“Yeah, you are like girly and stuff. Probably pretty light-weight.”

“Dean, I’m Russian.”

Everyone at the bar laughed. Ash said, “Oh yeah, I wanna see how much this guy can take.”

Sam leaned over and quickly killed the scene, “No, no, no. Do. NOT. do that. Please. Just, give him his water. Yeah. That’ll be great.”

Castiel, remembering their previous encounter nodded and just took the water. 

The rest of the night consisted of Dean and Castiel’s stories. Dean opened up more about his adventures in the hospital and found himself talking about Benny with a lump in his throat, making a mental note to find his friend. 

Castiel soon said he should be going home, since he had such an early day the next. He was keeping away from the neighborhood each night he would be late and now had stayed at the hotel or the hospital often. It had been a while since he had spent more than two nights at a time in his own bed. 

Dean was getting a bit tired from all the social interaction and asked if Castiel would give him a ride home. 

They looked at each other for a little while, and Castiel saw through Dean’s true intentions. 

Castiel said yes. 

Dean wished everyone goodbye. Sam gave him a look and said, “I’ll stay here. I’ll be home about 12:00, alright?” 

Dean leaned in close, “Sam. Hotel.”

Sam put his hands up, “I don’t want to know. Just...go.”

Pamela came around and grinned, “Yeah Dean, maybe I’ll be able to take a piece of this home with me, since big brother will be out.”

Pamela slapped a firm hand on Sam’s rear, making him jump and shoot an instant bitch face. 

Dean laughed, “Good luck with that, Sam has been playing a bit along the line these days.”

Sam growled, “Says who?”

Dean narrowed his eyes at his little brother, then Castiel asked him if he was ready. Dean grinned and said to his brother, “Says me.”

Dean waved at everyone and then turned around, following Castiel to his car. 

When Castiel asked the address to Dean’s home, Dean only smiled and ran his fingers along the top of Castiel’s hand. Castiel flipped his palm over to intertwine his fingers with   
Dean's and he drove to the hotel. 

 

Dean followed Cas inside. Castiel checked in to the hotel and a very pretty girl greeted him. Her name tag read Hannah and she grinned very politely at them both. 

After Hannah wished them both a very goodnight, they retreated into Cas’s room. 

“Looks like the people around here know you well.” Dean commented as Castiel went around and absentmindedly began tidying up. 

“It’s begun to feel like a second home,” Castiel said. 

Dean walked over to Castiel, “You know, if you ever need someplace to stay...Sam wouldn’t mind, and I sure as hell wouldn’t.”

Dean reached out and interlaced their fingers again. Castiel’s lips twitched into a smile, but then looked up with a frown. 

“Dean...if you think this is moving too fast, or you want to stop, please tell me.” He said. “If you want time to get to know each other better or something, let me know.”

“Cas, you know more about me than anyone in my life. More even than Sam. And unless you’ve been lying during our little sessions, I think I know a bit about you.” Dean smiled, “I want to get to know you a different way now.”

Dean dragged his free hand up Castiel’s arm, leaving shivers in the doctor’s skin. Dean rested the hand on Castiel’s neck, and it took little effort to pull him up to his lips. 

It started slow and gentle, and it stayed that way for a while. Castiel and Dean, worried for each other’s sake, each wanted to let the other person lead it. Soon, Dean decided to take over and while his lips were still attached to Cas’s, he shuffled himself out of his jacket, and then proceeded to strip Castiel of his coat. 

Dean’s lips moved and he began kissing up Castiel’s jawline. Cas took in a deep breath when Dean hit a sweet spot as he moved down Cas’s neck, a sensitive patch underneath Cas’s chin. Castiel lifted his head up to give Dean more room and the man began sucking and kissing. 

“Dean,” Castiel moaned. 

Dean grinned on Castiel’s skin and kept moving. 

Teasing, Dean began talking between each kiss down Castiel’s neck, “Isn’t this like illegal?”

Breathlessly, Cas said, “What?”

“The whole doctor-patient thing,” Dean said, moving back up to the tender spot underneath Cas’s chin, and he began unbuttoning Cas’s shirt and letting loose his tie, “Isn’t it illegal or at least not allowed?”

Castiel grabbed Dean’s face, pulling him off of his neck, and forcing him to look up at him. “Dean.”

Dean looked up at the panting man and grinned, “Yes?”

“Shut the fuck up.” 

Dean laughed and went back to Castiel’s mouth, who greeted him openly. It began to get rough, their hands were exploring each other, squeezing, touching and pulling. Dean’s hands slipped under Cas’s shirt as they both helped shrug it off. Dean quickly took his own shirt off. 

Their lips met again and Castiel began playing with the waistband of Dean’s jeans, dipping his fingers in along the rim. He tugged Dean’s waist closer to him as he undid his belt. 

When it was loose, he tore his mouth from Dean’s and started placing wet kisses down the man’s chest, passed his navel and to the pit of Dean’s stomach until he was on knees in front of him. Dean knotted his hands in Castiel’s dark hair and moaned. 

More articles of clothing came off, and soon the barrier between the two men was nonexistent. They tangled together, arms, legs, hands and tongues.

 

Afterwards, he laid in the bed, body still tingling and humming with the remaining bliss, with a beautiful man gently sleeping in his arms. As he stayed, recalling every event of the night, attempting to keep all the greatest hits fresh in his mind, Dean remembered his delusions of the hospital, when he thought it was heaven.   
He learned that night that heaven wasn’t a place. No, it was a feeling. It was a heavy weight, it was a touch, a gasp and it was love. And even the Lord knew that he felt heaven in that moment. 

**************************************************************************************************************************************************

The next morning, Sam was allowed to visit Gabriel. He was getting better, according to the doctors. And they thought it would be nice for him to have some company, since Sam was the only person visiting besides Castiel, who could only be there for about a half an hour before his curfew. 

Sam stayed all afternoon. Gabriel was in an induced coma while they were trying to make sure he had enough blood to survive before they started rehabilitating him. Sam left for a moment to get a salad, but quickly returned. 

He spent most of the day filling out paperwork for his lawyer internship. He felt like maybe he would just take a while and drop it. He wasn’t getting anything done anyway. It would be better if he just took some time off to figure things out. 

He turned instead to a book he had brought with him, leaving the paperwork beside him. He remembered the nurse saying that it was good to talk to Gabriel or something, that he could hear even though he was sleeping. He began to read out loud. 

“‘But we were never lonely and never afraid when we were together. I know that the night is not the same as the day: that all thing are different, that the things of the night cannot be explained in the day, because they do not then exist. And the night can be a dreadful time for lonely people once their loneliness has started.’” Sam read from Ernest Hemingway’s Farewell To Arms. 

In the midst of his reading, Sam heard a very loud groan from the man on the bed. 

Sam set the book down and stood up, “Gabriel?”

In a scratchy voice Gabriel said, “Really? You read me Farewell To Arms while I’m on my deathbed?”

“You aren’t dying,” Sam said, “And, it’s a classic!”

“Both of the characters absolutely suck at the relationship and they are so,” Gabriel coughed, “codependent. And then when she dies, this guy has like nothing to live for anymore.”

“Wait, she dies?!” Sam said. 

“Come on, this book has been out for like 100 years, spoiler alert doesn’t count anymore.” Gabriel said in a tired voice. 

Sam smiled, “It’s good to have you back.”

“Yeah, it’s great.” Gabriel huffed, “Now could you call the nurse or something? I think that’s what you are supposed to to do when someone wakes up from one of these.”

“Oh yeah.” Sam goes over and presses the nurse button on Gabriel’s desk. 

Gabriel grabbed Sam’s hand and looked up at him with a confused expression, “Why did you stay?”

“Why did you call?” Sam questioned back. 

Gabriel let go of Sam, nodding in understanding but not answering. He turned to the nurses who were coming in to check him up. 

Sam back down and picked up the book. He stayed there for a very long time and didn’t leave until Gabriel fell back to sleep that night.


	20. Take me to Church- Hozier

Dean was back at his home and settled. And that was all Castiel needed to know. Dean has been doing better from the last two months out of Castiel’s care. He was getting back in the swing of life again, he even said he was working at Bobby’s again. 

But, at the hospital, things were not going so well. Since Kevin was Castiel’s only patient, he wasn’t of much use. They were starting to let people go, and Castiel feared he would be cutting it too close. 

Today, though, today Castiel was giving himself a break from all the chaos. It was sunday, it was his weekend and he was going out. 

Well, out wasn’t exactly the right word for it he supposed. He was going to attend the church in Elysium Estates. It was a small, simple church that was located just outside of the posh neighborhood. There were two churches and the citizens were required to attend one of them. This was the smaller one that was mostly meant for the older people, it wasn’t as harsh and meant to order them to live their life a certain way. This was was more so talking about forgiving them the things they have done and helping them move on from it. 

And even saying how it might not have been so bad that they did these things. 

Castiel preferred this church much better. Perhaps it was because the preacher said the things Cas wanted to hear, not the truth he needed. He didn’t like to think too hard on it. 

Castiel got a call from Dean that morning as well, asking if he wanted to go over to Bobby’s today. Castiel declined heavy heartedly, as much as he wanted to spend time with Dean, he had promised himself. 

Dean begged Castiel to cancel and come over, but Castiel refused. Then the former mental patient said something no one ever thought he would say.

“Fine,” Dean said over the phone, “I’ll just go to church with you.” 

Castiel had to ask Dean to repeat himself two more times before he said, “Well, okay, I suppose I’ll pick you up at nine.”

“I’ll be ready,” Dean said. 

Castiel put on his suit and coat and drove to Dean’s home. Once he went to the door, the began to question himself on letting Dean attend church with him. 

Sam answered the door, “Oh, hey, Castiel. What are you doing here so early?”

“I’m here to pick up Dean, he said he would be here?” Castiel said nervously.

“Oh yeah, come in.” Sam looked at Castiel oddly, but Castiel just ducked his head and walked past the tall man into the house. 

Sam closed the door, “So where are you and Dean going?”

As nerve-wracking as it was, Castiel knew that Sam, um, knew about him and Dean. Sam didn’t look like he minded it, if anything, he made it his best interest to indirectly tease them. 

Dean walked downstairs in his usual attire, and Castiel over thought his wardrobe choices again. 

“Cas is gonna take me to church,” Dean announced with a sly grin. 

Sam laughed, “Church? That’s funny.”

Dean put on a bright smile, “No joke, Sammy. Tell him, Cas.”

Castiel leaned on the wall, crossing his arms across his chest, “Unfortunately, Dean is correct. I am going to the chapel in my neighborhood and Dean requested to join me. And I agreed, as stupid of a decision it was.”

Sammy smirked, and attempted to hide it, a feat Castiel didn’t think he pulled off very well. “Well, uh, have fun you two.”

Dean walked over to Cas and grinned, “Well let’s get to it,”

When they pulled up to the church, Dean asked, “So this is gonna be full of snobby old people?”

Castiel turned off the engine, “No, not quite. This isn’t like your nose-in-the-air churches like the media so shows off, Dean. The pastor, well, he is quite a character.”

“Well, then.” Dean said. 

Castiel knew that Dean had not attended many churches so probably didn’t have much hope for this one either. 

But Castiel was more concerned about Dean’s health than whether or not he liked the church. 

“Dean,” Castiel said, “If you aren’t ready, it’s alright. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable and I definitely don’t want you to have a relapse.”

“I’m fine,” Dean said in gruff tone. “Let’s get this party started.” 

The two walk outside and then into the small church. 

There are not many people in the service today, but enough to take up half of the pews. Most give Castiel and Dean small smiles, but not many come up to speak to them. 

One of the people Dean is introduced to is the pastor, Chuck Shurley. 

“He knows the bible so well they say he could have written it.” Castiel says to Dean. 

Dean huffed, “Well, I sure am excited to meet God.”

Castiel gave him a stern look before they go up to the man. 

“This is Chuck Shurley,” Castiel says, “And this is Dean.”

Chuck, a scruffy, tired-looking man, gives Dean a smile, “Hello,” he looks at Castiel, “Is this the one with the,” Chuck makes a small circle on the side of his head with his finger, “problem?”

“Hey, how’d you know that?” Dean grumbled, “Did you tell him, Cas?”

Castiel gave off a small smile, “Chuck knows a lot of stuff, it’s not easy to hide things from him.”

“Sorry if I offended you,” Chuck says, “It’s, uh, kind of a natural talent. I know things about people. They would call me a Prophet, but I think that’s a bit too arrogant.”

Dean shot him a look, one that wasn’t either happy or upset but more of a tolerating smile. 

Chuck put his hand in his pocket and then checked his watch, “Well, I better get things started.”

He wished the two farewell and walked over to the stage, setting up his bible and papers. 

“Shall we find a seat?” Castiel said. 

Dean nodded as they chose a spot close to the back, slightly away from the elderly sitting two rows in front of them. 

Pretty soon the service began. It started with a few songs that neither of the men knew but they clapped along in attempt to look less awkward than they felt. 

After the singing was over, they were able to sit down and listen to Chuck’s words peacefully. He went on about God giving you purpose in life and how everyone had a special place. 

Castiel listened quietly, he always enjoyed Chuck’s work and thought him wise. Though the man stammered here and there, and read off his paper most of the time, his words   
came across well. 

About ten minutes into the sermon, Castiel felt something touch his leg. He looked down and saw that Dean had moved his own leg so that him and Dean’s knees were touching. 

Castiel just thought Dean needed some sense that Castiel was with him, so the doctor didn’t question it and looked back up to Chuck’s speaking. 

But Dean moved closer to Castiel and it wasn’t until Castiel felt Dean’s hand on his thigh that he knew something was different. 

Castiel looked up at Dean with wide eyes and whispered under his breath, “Dean, not here.” 

Dean looked at Castiel with a glint in his eye. He then quietly stood up, brushed off his hands on his pants and walked out of the large room, not bringing too much attention to himself. 

Chuck kept preaching while Castiel looked about rather confused. He should stay. He should stay and listen to what Chuck is saying because that’s the smart thing to do. Not go and find Dean to see what he’s up to. No. That would be a bad idea. 

No matter how much Castiel told himself it was a bad idea, he stood up and walked out of the chapel either way.   
Castiel found Dean in the men’s restroom. Dean was grinning brightly, but Castiel tried to ignore his humor. 

“We are in a church, Dean.” Castiel huffed, “Out of all places and times, this is not the right one.”

“Come on,” Dean smiled, “Be a little rebellious. We have free will, don’t we?” 

Dean took a step towards Castiel, though he was only met with the doctor taking a step back and a half-hearted glare.

“Dean, no.” Castiel said, crossing his arms. He...he wasn’t going to change his mind. 

Dean crossed his arms over his chest, imitating Cas. “Fine, we can just go back out there with the elderly and listen to praises of God. That sounds fun too, right?”

Dean and Castiel stared down at each other for a moment, each trying to make their point without words. 

Dean was so stubborn. He wouldn’t wipe that smug grin off his mouth. 

Castiel had to do something about it. 

“Oh, bite me,” Castiel said as he grabbed the man’s shirt and pulled Dean’s mouth to his. 

Dean chuckled on Cas’s lips, “My pleasure.”


	21. You've Got Time- Regina Spektor

“There is a reason I want you to say it outloud, Kevin.” Dr. Novak said. 

“Well I don’t see the point,” The boy said, holding his newly working tablet to his chest. They were able to turn it on after Kevin uncharastically left it alone for a whole day. 

Apparently it just needed to be charged for a long while. “I don’t want to.”

“It’s just a simple exercise, but it will help a lot.” The doctor pleaded, “I promise.”

“Help with what? I don’t need to say it out loud, I’ve been living it everyday.” Kevin grumbled.

“I promise that it’s different. Living it, going through it, even fighting through it, that’s all something different. Even if it’s months from now, when you are out or somewhere else, you’ll need to say it. Scream it or cry while saying it. But once you do, you’ll say it and know it’s the truth. Then you can move on and accept that it happened.”

“Then I’ll do it later, when I’m out.” Kevin said stubbornly. 

Castiel sighed, “Alright. Well this session is over now. Remember, it’s back to an regular Group so make sure to follow Balthazar.”

Balthazar was the nurse helping out Castiel while Gabriel was away. There were rumors that they had already taken Gabriel off the list of the people staying while the hospital changes but Castiel tried not to believe it. 

Kevin walked down to the recreational room and sat down on the couch. Not many people sat there since it was solely Benny’s spot, but since the man wasn’t there anymore, Kevin decided to claim it for the old friend. 

Kevin brought his knees up and began writing on the notepad app. He wrote down everything he remembered that the tablet said before they broke it. Well, they fixed it but it wasn’t really the same. 

The TV was on and Missouri was watching the news. The anchorman currently covering a story on a murder. Kevin was confused on why they let her watch such morbid things, but no one really want to mess with Missouri. 

Kevin looked around at everyone around, really getting a good look of where he was. 

He was alone. Benny and Dean were gone so Kevin didn’t really have anyone he could call a friend. He felt trapped. Everything on the TV was real, that was real. But this place didn’t feel real. He remembered outside where he had goals and he was going to go to a good college and he was working towards that. 

But here, everything was routine. He didn’t feel real himself. He felt like he was just dragging his body down through the motions. Waking up, spitting some nonsense to Dr. Novak, eating and then going back to sleep. He felt like he was living for nothing. 

A lump began forming in his throat and tears falling down his cheeks. He rested his head on his knees and cried. 

Missouri looked over at the boy, “Whatcha crying about?”

Kevin picked up his head, wiping away the wetness on his cheeks, “I’m in a mental hospital.”

She huffed and turned up her TV, “Aren’t we all.”

Kevin nodded and stood up. He dragged his body upstairs to Dr. Novak, still buzzing with the need to scream it out, cry it out, just to tell someone. 

He didn’t know why, he didn’t know what it would help. Maybe they would feel pity for him, but he didn’t really want pity. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to let strangers know of his troubles. 

He just wanted the hurt to stop. 

 

After he talked to Castiel for a while longer, he was feeling better and he went down to Group. He left his things with Dr. Novak, for the doctor talked about wanting to see what Kevin had written out. Hesitantly, Kevin gave them up. 

Kevin’s Group was pretty strange these days. It was led by a rather annoying doctor named Bartholomew. He was very high and mighty of himself and acted like some kind of politician.

But today he was late, and although there were orderlies in the room, it was kind of tense. Kevin wasn't necessarily fond of the people in his Group. Most of the people were fine, but some of them bothered him a bit. From the really creepy girl named Becky that took turns obsessing over each person (she was all over Kevin last week) to the boy who Kevin tried to make friends with but he just wasn’t in the mood- and hasn’t been since then. 

Although the person that freaked Kevin out the most was a girl who was currently pacing the floor. Kevin watched her nervously while he turned to a good friend of his, Donna. She was just here for a little while. She said that she was very sad and needed some time off. But she was funny and you could hardly tell how depressed she was. 

Kevin was wondering when Bartholomew would get here, and the orderlies seemed to be asking the same question. There were two of them guarding the door, and one of them started to leave to go ask where the doctor was. 

Taking advantage of the break time, Kevin got up to ask to use the restroom. 

When the boy walked over to the orderly, he had to go past the girl who was wandering around the room. He wasn’t sure of this girl’s name, he just knew that on good days, she thought that she was an angel or the anti-christ or something. Kevin didn’t know, and he didn’t want to. 

She had her face looking down to the ground with her hair hanging in her eyes. She was looking, so when Kevin came by, she almost ran into the other patient. 

Kevin stepped out of the way just in time, but she still snapped her head up to give him a hatred-filled glare. 

Kevin felt like he need to put his hands up in surrender, but he just ducked his head in apology and went to the orderly. 

Hands wrapped up in his long hoodie sleeves, Kevin asked, “Can I go to the bathroom before it starts?”

“No, your therapist should be here soon,” He said, “Go sit back down.” 

Kevin grumbled but turned around and took a step forward. 

And then ran straight into the girl. 

Kevin stilled with fear and didn’t move. Even though the girl was much shorter, she scared the living daylights out of him. 

The girl was just standing and staring at him. He looked behind him and gave the orderly a face. 

“Go to your seat too, Saran.” was all he said. 

Saran? What kind of name was that?

Suddenly, Saran grabbed Kevin and pushed him to the wall. Kevin yelped when he was thrown around and felt a sharp pain in his right shoulder. 

The demonic girl was dragged off of him by the orderly, who was using a curious string of cuss words. 

Kevin looked down and realized there was a fork sticking out of his shoulder. 

At first, Kevin was a bit impressed because the girl had stabbed through two layers of clothing and his skin. But that quickly changed to shock. 

Another worker came up to Kevin and started handling him. 

Kevin just looked up and gaped, “I just got stabbed.”

“I can see that,” The worker said, “Now remain calm, please, we will get this fixed.”

“I just got stabbed!” He repeated. 

Kevin looked around to see the people sitting around the circle, all acting like nothing happened. Besides, Donna, who was trying to help detain Saran. And an strange teenage girl who was wearing a eskimo-like coat and giggling at them. 

Still in a state of shock, Kevin let himself be walked out of the room and to the medical ward. 

As he was being treated, the head doctor, Crowley, came in with a bit of rage. 

“What the hell happened?” He asked. 

The nurse, a very nice lady named Amelia, turned around, “Don’t speak too loud, he’s still in a bit of shock.” 

“He's in shock?” Crowley sputtered, “I am in shock! I’m one loose string away from losing my job and now we have the patients stabbing each other. How did this happen?”

Amelia smiled at Kevin and walked a little bit away with Crowley, but not far enough that he couldn’t hear every word. 

“It was a girl named Saran, during their Group, she had a metal fork. They don’t know why she freaked like that, or how she got a fork, but she’s in isolation now.” 

Crowley wrinkled his nose, “Saran? There is no patient here named Saran.” 

“I mean, it’s a strange name-”

“No! What I mean is that there is no one in this building with that name, I would know. What did she look like?”

Amelia nodded, “Oh, well, she’s about 17 maybe a bit older, blue eyes-”

Crowley interrupted again, rubbing a hand down his face, “Fuck me,”

“Excuse me?”

“That’s Hael! Who has been in isolation for the past four months and is still supposed to be in there until her trial. She’s criminally insane!”

“Oh,” Amelia said, “But I’ve talked to her before, she thought she was an angel or something. She was very kind!”

“Yes, and she thought she was Satan on Tuesdays and that she built the goddamn Grand Canyon! That doesn’t mean we let little girls out of isolation after they knock out a grown   
man and try to steal their body!” 

Kevin suddenly was glad that he only got stabbed in the shoulder. 

“She tried to do that? How?” Amelia asked, suddenly curious. 

“I’m not here to talk about the 101 reasons why the patients are in the hospital.” Crowley sneered. “In fact, there is no reason for me to be here at all. I have paperwork to do, a   
doctor to fire and a patient to transfer.”

Kevin looks at the nurse who sighed as she walked over to him, “Am I getting transferred?” 

Amelia smiles, “I don’t know. Your mom is coming up soon, so there is no need to worry about anything.”

“But I’m worried about getting transferred.” 

“It’ll all be okay, Kevin.” She tried to reassure. 

Kevin was worried about the truth behind that too.


	22. Heartbreak Hotel- Elvis Presley

Castiel knew he was screwed the moment Crowley walked into his office. 

“Thursdays must really not be your day.” Crowley commented. 

He looked up, “May I ask why you are here?”

“I just want to talk about a simple criminal case that we stumbled upon,” Crowley said. 

“I’m a clinical psychologist, you ass. Not a lawyer.” 

“Ah, but this one might interest you.” Crowley said, “I just had to fill out a report for a certain boy who got stabbed with a fork by a certain girl who was supposed to be in isolation.” 

Castiel gulped, “What are you talking about?”

“Kevin was doing so well wasn’t he?” The head doctor said, “Too bad that his mother demanded for him to be transferred.” 

“I’m losing Kevin?” Castiel said. 

“Yes. And Hael is now in a institution for the criminally insane, where she is supposed to be if you didn’t ask for her to remain here. Did you forget about that? How you tried to spare her?”

Castiel put his hands over his mouth. “This can’t be happening right now. Please, just give me some more time.” 

“No can do,” Crowley said, walking around Cas’s office, as if looking to see how he could change it, “There isn’t much room for unneeded doctors here apparently. At this point, I’m just doing my job until the same thing happening to you happens to me.”

“You know my situation won’t welcome this.” 

“I don’t think they will welcome this either,” Out of Crowley’s pocket, he pulls a CD in a case. 

“What is this?” Castiel said. 

“Video footage from your room. Did you forget you have a camera in here, Castiel? It’s from the day Dean Winchester was released. I think I’m doing you a favor.”

Castiel paled, “But-but no one actually watches those unless there is an incident. Have you been watching me?”

“You’ve been acting strangely. I thought it was just that gated community of yours but seems like you have something else on your hands. And, buddy boy, you’ve got something they call sex appeal. I’m sure you can sway them into letting you stay after your little closet-bursting.”

Castiel doesn’t reply, he instead looked down and tighten the hold on the disc in his hands, knowing this could end him. 

Crowley softened his teasing, “So you see why it’s going to be easier for both of us if I just let you go on good terms. The very last thing I need on my hands is a sexual assault case right after a malicious stabbing. I prefer those in the opposite order.”

Knowing that no matter the situation, Castiel would get in trouble for this video, even if Dean wasn’t his patient at the time. Even if it was just a kiss. 

“So what are you going to do?” Crowley asked, generally interested. 

“What else can I do? Get a new job, follow the rules and hope they still accept me or get kicked out.”

“You sound French. Ever thought of resisting? Fighting the man?”

“I’m too tired.”

Crowley huffed, “We are all too tired, that doesn’t mean we don’t have anything to stay awake for.”

The head doctor turned to leave, and then backtracked, “But before you go, Kevin wanted me to tell you something. Something about what was on his tablet.”

“Was it about what it said?”

“Yes. He finally translated the whole lot of it. Although all it said was: It’s Not.”

Suddenly the whole world went black, but only for a moment. 

“What was that?” Castiel said as the world switched back to color. 

“What was what?”

Castiel shook his head and left the room, the CD still burning a hole in his hand. 

As he drove to Elysium Estates, Castiel couldn’t help but wonder what the translation meant. Was that all? After all the work Kevin put in, his whole life, just for two words? 

It’s not. It’s not what?! 

It was slowly making Castiel hysteric. He wanted to find Kevin and asked what it meant, but he knew the boy probably didn’t even know. 

When he finally reached his house, there was no time for relaxation. 

There were a dozen people walking in and out of Castiel’s house, moving thing around and putting his things in boxes. 

He pushed through people to get inside and saw Naomi leading the pack. 

“What is going on?” Castiel asked. 

“Your eviction.”

“You can’t do this,” Castiel said, “You can’t just go through my things like this!”

“We can and we are.” Naomi scuffed, “You must’ve forgotten you left your Bill Of Rights once you signed the contract to live here.”

“You have to have a viable reason to do this!” 

“Fine. You have broken the rules that this community is built on! And for that, we can no longer have you here ruining it for everyone else.”

“What rules? I’ve lived here for years and I’ve caused no disturbance.” 

“We tolerated you living with that demon girl you weren’t even married to and now you are a flaunting around with a patient of yours? A male patient nonetheless.” Naomi said, disgusted, “You know we follow the rules of the Lord here, Castiel. That is our one and true guidelines and you have crossed them for the last time.”

“H-how...how did you know about Dean?” 

“I have my sources, Castiel.” Naomi glared. “Now get out before I do something with my knowledge. You can pick up your stuff tomorrow once we’ve finished going through them. Just to make sure you weren’t hiding anything else in this sinner house of yours.”

Castiel didn’t say anything as he turned and left the door. But once he went to the front of his yard, everything went black again. This time it was mixed with browns and blues, all clouding his vision. He felt larger, as if he was taking up more space. 

When he came to, he looked up and saw Metatron standing over him. The man was looking at him with a mock concern expression. 

“Come on,” He gloated, “Just stay under for a little bit longer. This is getting interesting, wouldn’t you think?”

Castiel shakily got to his feet and stumbled to his car. 

“Oh, Castiel,” Metatron called. 

He turned, leaning against his car for support. 

“Your nose is bleeding.” 

Castiel reached a hand up to his nose, which had suddenly been overflowed with blood. He used the sleeve of his trenchcoat as a towel and got in. 

He didn’t remember the drive to the Winchester’s house. 

But he did remember kissing Dean passionately the moment he opened the door.


	23. Mr. Crowley- Ozzy Osbourne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update guys! But to make up for it, I'm posting two chapters! Remember, we always love hearing from you guys so please feel free to tell us what you think in the comments! Enjoy, lovelies.

Crowley knew he was screwed long before Abaddon walked into his office. 

It was after-hours, of course, Abaddon never showed when the patients could see her. It wasn’t like she was here for them anyway. 

“You are sure determined to go out with a bang, aren’t you?” She grinned, “A suicide, a escaped isolation patient and a stabbing? Sounds like a bad sitcom in here.”

“I do love a little excitement.” Crowley said, putting his books in a box. 

Abaddon sat on the empty desk, crossing her legs, “So what have you decided on?”

Crowley huffed, “I’m leaving for travel reasons. I’m transferring, if you will.”

“Very nice. A reason as pathetic as you. It should work.” Abaddon sneered, “And just in time for me to finish my application to lead Fireplace to a new age.”

Crowley began grabbing his boxes and moving them in the hallway. He didn’t want to admit he had been defeated. 

Abaddon said, “I think it was time for a regime change, don’t you think? I come back from half way across the world and suddenly they make you in charge. It was a honest mistake, really.”

“And what makes you think you can do any better than I can?” Crowley said. 

“Oh, I don’t think so. Remember, I was sent from the big boys. Mr. Cain, actually, you know him. He thinks I’ll do a better job.” 

Crowley paled, “I know of him. He left his mark on this place many years ago when he bought it. Other than that, I have no direct acquaintance of him.”

“And I’m guessing you are hoping to keep it that way?” 

Crowley didn’t respond. 

“You might want to get out now. Your time is officially up, Crowley.” 

Crowley picked up the last box. As he turned to walk out he said, “It’s the chain of survival, dear. I just snagged someone lower than me. Now I’m getting snagged by something higher.” Crowley looked at Abaddon. “I advise that you watch your back.”

Crowley walked out of the office, saying no more. 

The previous head-doctor walked down the stairs and out of the hospital. He had never really bothered to care much for the patients, so he never really cared when they asked   
him to sneak things into the hospital for them. 

But most of his best customers had left the hospital, somehow getting better, or somehow dying. 

So he didn’t put up much of a fight when Abbadon wanted to take over. He had other places to go. 

What can he say? Hell’s complicated.


	24. The Smile Has Left Your Eyes- Asia

Gabriel was getting worse. They didn’t know why or what happened for him to downsprial but it was becoming worrisome. 

“Gabe, you have to eat.” Sam said, holding a small cup of chicken noodle soup and a spoon in his hands. 

Gabriel was slumped in the hospital bed, his cheekbones sharp and his eyes weak. “I don’t want to, I hate soup.”

“You are so whiny,” Sam said, placing the food on the bedside table. He sat on the bed next to Gabriel’s feet. “You have to eat or you aren’t going to get any better OR they are going to start tube-feeding you.”

“I’m not going to get better anyway, so let them.” Gabriel said grouchily. 

“Don’t say that,” Sam pleaded, “You will get better. You just have to believe and fight for it.”

Gabriel huffed, “Well sorry if I can’t be an sunny optimistic like you.”

“Well you could at least try. A bad attitude is going to make you worst too.”

“Since when are you the doctor? Oh wait, you’re not. I am.” Gabriel snapped. 

Sam looked up, and then down to his feet, “You could at least try to live.”

Gabriel scoffed and rolled his eyes, “There’s no point. I lost my job, I lost whatever family I had, I was stabbed in the back by them almost literally. What’s the point? I’m tired,   
Sam.”

Sam turned his head away from him, and then stood up, beginning to walk away.

“Sam?” Gabriel called, fear growing in his voice. 

Sam spun back around, “No, you are not allowed to give up. God damn it, Gabriel, don’t you know there are people out there that care about you? That need you?”

“Who? Like you?”

“Yes, like me!” Sam looked away and cursed, “What I’m saying, is that it’s not your time. You can’t give up.”

They were both quiet for a while until Gabriel said, “Why did you stay?”

Sam looked at him, remembering the question from before. He took a breath, “Because I care about you, I don’t know why I feel so strongly to you, I hardly know you, but I do and I can’t stop it.” 

Gabriel nodded but didn’t say anything, he just looked away. 

Sam, disappointed and embarrassed, looked around and rubbed a hand over his mouth. He began to walk towards the door, closing his eyes, trying to hide any tears trying to leak through. 

“Sam?” Gabriel said. 

Sam turned around and saw Gabriel struggling to sit up, being cautious of the bandage on his side. 

“Can I kiss you?” Gabriel asked, his mischievous grin replaced with lips tight with anticipation and hope.

Sam’s expression softened and he said, “You don’t need to ask.” 

It took Sam three long legged strides to Gabriel’s bed and he leaned over the man who was trying to pick himself up to reach the tall man. Sam leaned one knee on the bed to help Gabriel, making sure he wouldn’t hurt himself. He wrapped his hands on Gabriel’s face, not quite touching his lips. 

“You are not going to break me, Sasquatch,” Gabriel said. 

Sam chuckled, “I’m more worried of you breaking me.” 

“You better,” Gabriel said. He closed the gap between them and kissed. 

 

Gabriel had a reason to move on, and he did. It took a while for him to get his strength back. Soon he was able to go back home. 

Castiel, Dean and Sam all helped him get settled back into his home. Because he was still in recovery, Sam would be around to help a lot. Dean teased them on that. Though he was having his own fling with his own medic so Sam didn’t let it get to him. 

Although for the first week, Sam particularly lived at Gabriel’s house. He left every now and then to get food or to spend a little time working at Bobby’s to make a bit of money. 

But he always came back home to Gabriel. 

Gabriel used every moment they were together to his advantage. There were hardly times when he wasn’t admiring some part of Sam. Sam didn’t mind, whether it was Gabriel’s dirty jokes holding hands while watching a movie, he enjoyed the moments. 

They were together for three weeks. It wasn’t long enough. 

The beginning of the second week, Gabriel began getting worse. They were sure what it was, whether infection or not, but he began getting attacks and vomiting. 

Sam stayed with Gabriel day and night. Dean didn’t think it was healthy, and he urge Sam to go home. 

Sam and Gabriel loved each other that last week. They talked of no future together, or how much they wished they had met sooner, they just lived in the present and showed their love the best way they could. 

Gabriel passed away on a Tuesday while Sam wasn’t there to say goodbye. Sam was going down to get a coffee for him and Gabriel. Gabriel wasn’t necessarily supposed to have coffee but Sam let him have sip every now and then. 

He thought back on everything he had done in those moments walking back up to the hospital room. He had waved to the attendant at the front desk of the ICU, a young lady named Kali who Gabriel flirted with on a regular basis. Sam was a bit uncomfortable with it at first but Gabriel would always end whatever jokes he made with her with how lucky he already was to have such a moose of a man. 

Sam had begun to look forward to the little run-ins with Kali if it made Gabriel show him off. 

After, Sam had walked down the hall, to see many nurses shuffling in and out of the rooms. Discreetly, Sam threw one of the drinks in the trash next to him, Gabriel could always drink out of his. 

Then, the younger Winchester realized it was Gabriel’s room that they were running around in. 

He quickly ran down the hall. The medics tried to push him away, but eventually they let go and Sam darted into the room. 

Gabriel was covered in blood. He had been coughing it up a lot recently, but nothing too awful. He was on his mouth and his shirt, Sam could only imagine the awful way he went. And Sam wasn’t even there for him. 

Sam fell to his knees on the side of Gabriel’s bed. No words could be said, Sam grabbed Gabriel’s hand and turned away, leaning against the bed, staring at the wall. He held Gabriel’s hand dangling off the bed, kissing it and holding it tightly, as if he could still hold on to him. As if that if he believed enough, it all wouldn’t be real, that it was just pretend and Gabriel would come back to him. 

 

“Maybe...you'll fall in love with me all over again."  
"Hell," I said, "I love you enough now. What do you want to do? Ruin me?"  
"Yes. I want to ruin you."  
"Good," I said. "That's what I want too.” (Farewell to Arms)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So most of you probably really hate us for that. Sorry. That was awful. (But tbh I'm happy with how it turned out)


	25. Come With Me Now- Kongos

The world was falling apart around Dean’s feet, and he didn’t know what to do about it. 

Sam had retreated into his bedroom since Gabriel’s funeral. He hadn’t come out in a few days, not even to eat. 

The day of Gabriel’s memorial was one that they still weren’t over. Only a few people showed up. Only one family member, a dark-skinned woman who didn’t speak to anyone.   
She only stayed for a small while. 

There was no trial, Gabriel never told them who had stabbed him. He only smiled and shook his head. 

Castiel was depressed, Dean knew that. He had lost everything. The only thing keeping him on the string was Dean and Sam. 

Actually, Dean wasn’t so sure about that part. He wasn’t even sure Castiel was still hanging. More like dipping up and down and swaying side to side. He would blank out for minutes at a time, just stare off into space until he came back to. Even then, he would touch Dean as if he wasn’t real. 

Sometimes...Dean didn’t feel real either. 

 

Castiel was having trouble keeping his head on straight. The Winchesters had offered him a place to stay until he was back on his feet. He wasn’t so sure about that though. He felt like things were going to stop at any moment, that everything was going to end. 

He was having a hard time with his memories, he was forgetting things. 

He would’ve diagnosed this as a beginning of a very bad brain tumor or something. He didn’t know, he went to school for a little under 12 years, and he suddenly wasn’t sure of anything. 

Castiel and the Winchesters spent most of their time those few days in the house. They tried to coax Sam out of his room, but the youngest man was pretending he didn’t exist. 

It was the morning four days after Gabriel’s memorial and Dean had decided to help Sam back on his feet. Dean demanded that they all needed to get some fresh air and hop back into reality. Dean was all smiles that day, although Cas could see that he was trying to maintain composure himself. 

So Castiel played along and didn’t argue when Dean came down with Sam, asking about where they wanted to go to eat. 

Dean let Sam pick the music, which was strange for Castiel to witness. Sam seemed to know that Dean was just trying to make him feel better, and he chose his older brother’s regular tape. 

Dean made a joke that his awesome music taste was rubbing off on Sam that Castiel tried to laugh at. He cracked a few more as they drove, but eventually he knew there was no point in the effort, his little brother was just too broken. He quieted and turned his eyes to the road. 

They pulled up to a simple diner that was under crowded and under rated. 

“Ah, smell that?” Dean grinned. 

“Smell what?” Castiel intrigued. 

“The smell of good home cooking, that’s what.” Dean said, “You don’t find a place like this everyday, let me tell you that.”

Castiel knew Dean was over-selling the place. It was just another regular restaurant. He could see how hard Dean was working to make them feel better. And Cas thought that if it didn’t work, Dean might begin to feel bad about himself too. So the former doctor decided he would help out as much as he could. 

They were easily seated. There were only a few other people in the diner, mostly elderly people scattered around reading. There was one younger couple with a child in the far corner. 

Sam didn’t order food, but Dean got him a salad anyway and when it arrived, he urged his brother to eat. 

Castiel ordered food but never had time to eat it. 

“So,” Dean said, giving up on Sam eating food when his younger brother settled on drinking water, “are you just going to find another hospital to work at, Cas?”

“I’m not sure it will be that easy, Dean.” Castiel admitted, “I have to see how well my record maintained, I’m not sure how well Crowley wrote about me when he let me go.”

“Well without your big diploma you are just a baby in a trenchcoat,” Dean huffed, “I don’t know how well you will do at a regular job.”

Suddenly, Cas’s world shifted, everything going black again. This was happening so often but he never saw any side effects. He never missed time, and no one else seemed to notice him leaving the world for a while. The only person who mentioned anything was Metatron the first time it happened. 

When he came back to, his noticed that his hearing was off too. Everything was very muted and he thought he could hear sounds that weren’t supposed to be there. Like he was in two different places at once. 

He thought he could faintly hear Sam whisper, “I think you hurt his feelings,” when he came back. He looked up and saw Dean standing over him. 

“Come with me now,” Dean said. He then walked away.

Castiel looked at Sam, who didn’t seem to mind or care that they were leaving. He actually was staring down at the salad he had been given. He seemed troubled still, but he had always seemed a bit troubled to Castiel. 

Dean went into the men's restroom. It was small and empty. 

“Is everything okay?” Castiel said. 

Dean was itching his skin and walking back and forth. He didn’t say anything. 

Cas was very confused, “Dean, are you alright? What happened?”

He was going to tear up his arms, so Castiel walked over and grabbed the man’s hands. This was like the fever he had experienced earlier. 

How long ago was that? Castiel remembered Dean telling him a story about a fever of fear that he had once had. 

No, wait. That never happened. 

Castiel suddenly let go of Dean’s hands as he met his eyes. 

They were pitch black. 

Castiel’s vision wavered and spun. He found himself against the wall. 

It’s not. 

“It was me the whole time!” Dean shouted, screamed. “I was the problem! Not Sam, not the demons, it was ME.”

Slowly and achingly, Castiel got to his feet. He reached out for Dean, “No, no, it wasn’t you.”

“I’m the cursed one,” Dean growled, “I’m dragging everyone down with me! Stay away from me,”

It’s not, it’s not. 

“No, Dean,” Castiel said, “After everything I’ve done, I’ve lost, you can’t be lost too.”

It was so messy, none of it Cas could truly understand. He just wanted Dean to stop, to know the truth that he knew so dearly. Dean was a hero, he was his hero. 

“CAN YOU HEAR ME?” Dean shouted, “It’s my fault! Don’t touch me, I’ll hurt you too!”

Castiel was blinking, in and out of whatever side was reality. He couldn’t tell, he was just holding on to Dean, hoping that he was the side that would stay. 

It’s not it’s not it’s not.

Castiel began pressing kisses to Dean’s face as the man howled. Cas couldn’t feel it. 

He couldn’t feel it, he couldn’t feel Dean. 

He couldn’t hear anything anymore. 

Castiel opened his eyes. 

He blinked a few times as the light shone in through a window. It was quiet and serene. He was sitting in a chair and his hands and feet were bound with the rope pressing against   
his skin. 

It looked like he was in a library, there were stacks of books up along the wall and some more littering the floor. He could hear the soft wind of an open window in the back and a low melody playing. 

And in front of him sat a short man in a chair, grinning and cheering as Castiel’s eyes widened, coming completely back to the world. 

“Now that,” Metatron, the scribe of God, said, “That is how you tell stories.”


	26. Hear Me- Imagine Dragons

“How...how long…” Castiel stuttered. 

“About an hour or two,” Metatron grinned, “A touch of angel power and a swig of djinn juice. A tricky concoction; I think it worked wonderfully.”

The only other question Castiel could ask was, “Why?”

Metatron didn’t answer, “The result, now that was the fun part. I wasn’t sure how it was going to work. But it was interesting, wasn’t it? I got to pick the location, the plot. A mental hospital. It took a long time thinking, but I had some help. And then, and then you set the characters. You chose where it went. And my, my, do you have an active imagination.” 

“Although,” Metatron continued, “I do have some questions. Like those people, I didn’t know you knew any other humans besides the Winchesters.”

“I don’t,” Castiel replied, “Dean told me stories of them.” 

“Ah, I see,” Metatron smiled, “Now Dean Winchester, that’s someone whose stories I would like to see. I bet he has tons to tell. I should call him down here, maybe do this little exercise on him, shouldn’t I?”

Castiel struggled in his bonds, “If you even try-”

“I know, I know, you’ll kill me. Or at least you will try, won’t you?” Metatron said, “It’s crazy what we do for people we love.”

“I-I-”

“You won’t deny it. You can’t deny it. You gave up everything for that man. I just didn’t think it was so,” Metatron made a face as he tried to find the words, “romantic.” 

Castiel tried to clear his head, telling himself that the illusion was just that-an illusion. It wasn’t real. Instead of focusing on the contents of it, he looked around for an escape. 

“Oh don’t worry, Castiel. They will be here soon to save you, I’ve made sure of it. I didn’t want you here longer then I needed to.”

Metatron stood up from his chair and walked over to the radio on the large desk behind him. He turned it on slightly, just so a tune was playing in the background. 

“I’ve been experimenting with different songs,” Metatron mentioned, “They are just musical stories, don’t you think? Although the ones these days are just about sex and love. Which is fine, don’t get me wrong, I’ve listened to a few of them while I was waiting for you to wake up. I just like something with a bit better taste.”

Castiel tried to pull his hands through the ropes, but it only kept his hands in place and rubbed against his wrists.

The angel let his head fall against the chair. This was hopeless. Why wasn’t Metatron doing anything? Was he just waiting for Sam and Dean to come? Castiel was worried about what the scribe would do once they arrived. 

Castiel thought back. The...the whatever it was still seemed so real. But it also felt like he had woken up from a very bad dream. He had to think backwards and decipher what was real and what wasn’t real. 

He was an angel of the Lord. Or once was. 

He was never a clinical psychologist, he had only been in a mental hospital once, and that was for opposite reasons. 

Demons and monsters were real. Castiel has been alive long enough to know.

Crowley was definitely not his superior, nor will he ever be. 

Sam was okay. 

Gabriel was...Gabriel wasn’t presently here. And he had never had a fling with Sam (where in the world that came from, Castiel did not know). 

And Dean...Dean never kissed him. He never lost it like he did, although Castiel thought Dean may be walking that trail. 

“Castiel,” Metatron said, “You might not want to shuffle your brain up too much, it’s not good for you.”

“I wouldn’t have to take the time to tell what is real and what is not if it weren’t for you.” Castiel sneered. 

“Come on, don’t be mad. It was fun, wasn’t it? A little trippy, sure. It surely was for me when I peeked in every now and then. Maybe we’ll try it again, and you won’t even remember it until you come back. It will only take about another hour in real time. Maybe I’ll put you in a prison or maybe turn you into a baby and have you live a whole life. Assuming that doesn’t kill you of course.” 

“No,” Castiel said, “I don’t want to live in a fantasy, even if I don’t know it.”

“Of course you don’t.” Metatron pouted, “Cause you are no fun.” 

There was a sudden sound of yelling and feet pounding on the floor. 

Castiel tried to turn his head to the door to see what was happening but the chair was too tall to see. 

So he looked towards Metatron, who also noticed the commotion. The scribe grinned, “Looks like our special guests are here. Are you sure you don’t want me to try my experiment on them? I’m very curious to see what their brains would make up. Especially the tall one, since even you yourself could see how broken he is. Though I know you would prefer Dean’s.”

“No,” Castiel growled, and then said, “Why are you letting them save me?”

Metatron smiled, “Every story needs its hero, Castiel. I think you should ponder what your brain is trying to tell you from this little journey of ours. Maybe it’ll help you find out what you really want here.”

There was banging on the door and Castiel could hear someone calling his name.

“Now I’m not going to tell you the moral of this story, that would be too easy, wouldn’t it? No, I think that’s something you need to figure out for yourself.”

Metatron gave Castiel one last smug grin and flickered out. 

The door gave in. 

“Cas?” Dean yelled, the real Dean. 

The hunter walked over to Cas as Sam began searching the place. 

Dean crouched down in front of Castiel, cutting away the ropes, “Hey, buddy, you alright?”

Sam said, “Metatron was here, wasn’t he? Where is he now?”

“I couldn't care less right now, “ Dean said, “As long as that son of a bitch is gone, we have time to figure things out.”

Castiel looked up at them. He couldn’t remember how he got there or what had happened before. He felt safe here. 

Here, where things didn’t make any sense either. But it was real. None of it was make believe. Figures, Castiel would mess things up again if he had another chance. Even in a world where it was of his own choosing, he would make mistakes and everything would fall apart around him. 

Maybe that was just a part of Castiel. He messed things up. 

But there was one constant. 

He did it all for Dean, for Sam, for the good of humanity. 

The difference between this world and that, somehow, things worked out in the end. And, if even for a moment, things would be okay. Maybe that’s what they were fighting for. That small moment where everything would be fine. 

“Cas,” Dean asked, “Can you hear me?”

Cas said, “Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! It's been so much fun sharing this story with you and hearing your feedback. Elizabeth says it's been quite a journey getting here but she's glad you guys have enjoyed it and stayed with us. She's also sorry she's such a troll. We love you all so much. Thanks for reading (:  
> Xxx


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